


you're gonna gain the whole world (but is it worth the girl that you're losing)

by comebackbehere



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-05-18 11:51:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 54,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14852225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comebackbehere/pseuds/comebackbehere
Summary: Toni had it all, and then she threw it away. Cheryl had it all, and then it was ripped away. Some dreams came true and others were crushed. So, the question is, what happens now?





	1. you got your world (i've got mine)

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I deleted this fic because I was super insecure about the reaction I received from it...and then I realized that this is my writing, and I know where I'm going with it. I know what's going to happen. I know how this will all end. So, I'm going to give this fic another go and I hope y'all stick around for the ride.

She has a son.

 

 _They_ have a son.

 

Jughead actually smiles, so bright and full of life, as he cradles the tiny infant while Toni attempts to keep her heavy eyes open. After hours of tears and screams, her son came into the world with a powerful cry and a wisp of black locks. The infant squirms in his blue blankets while Toni waits with a pounding heart as Jughead takes their son from the nurse and looks down at him with so much adoration and devotion. It makes her sick to her stomach to see, and for a moment the happiness in her veins slowly turns ice cold.

 

“They’re so cute.” A nurse smiles.

 

Toni swallows hard, “Yeah. They are.”

 

The distance between them is finally closed and Jughead is gentle as he rests the little boy in her arms. And just like that, Toni forgets everything but the way the warm weight settles on her chest. She feels like every moment in her life has been leading to this, like she was born just to bring this child into the world. It’s silly, that much she knows, but she can’t help but swell with love as she gazes down at the newborn baby.

 

“He’s perfect.” Toni whispers.

 

The nurses mill around her, but it’s all a blur as she stares down at her son; his skin is pink and his head is full of thick curls, he’s perfection. But what catches her attention is the tiny black freckle above her son’s upper lip. It’s so benign, the sight of it. But it’s _her._  It’s a piece of her. Toni looks up at Jughead and he leans down to press a kiss to her hairline; she hasn’t been this happy in a while, and she doesn’t know how it will ever get any better.

 

-

 

“Betty texted me.”

 

The woman beside her pauses briefly as her hands tighten around the folder she holds. After a moment, haunted brown eyes dart to Veronica as she continues to dance her thumb along the screen of her iPhone. Veronica reads the texts from her wife and turns her lips down into a frown as she exits out of the conversation. Beside her, Cheryl sees the happiness that shines in her best friend’s gaze as she looks down at the background of her phone which houses a photo of Betty holding their dog with a bright smile and shining blue eyes.

 

“The baby was born.” Veronica whispers. “His name is Gavin. Toni is doing well, they’re releasing her from the hospital tomorrow.”

 

“Great for her.”

 

“Cheryl,” Veronica sighs as she glances to the scowling woman. “Can you not? You don’t have to act like that every time I mention her.”

 

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Cheryl scoffs as she shifts her angered gaze. “I didn’t realize I had to pretend to be okay with the fact that the woman I loved has a child with our coworker and now I have to see his _disgusting_ face every day. I’ll try to act a little more civil next time.”

 

Veronica flushes, “You’re right.”

 

“I always am.” Cheryl snaps as she glances back down at her file. “Now, will you please finish your print so we can get our article sent in?”

 

-

 

The office is loud with excitement when Jughead returns from his fourteen day maternity leave. With a roll of his eyes, he goes about making his way to the desk while taking the congratulations and slaps on the back in stride. The smile only falters when he sees two familiar faces nearby, and he notices how neither of them make a move to greet them. His satchel slides from his arm as he drops into his chair and quickly spins away from the heavy gaze of Cheryl and Veronica.

 

“So...Gavin?”

 

Jughead looks up with a half-smile, “Yeah.”

 

“Cute.” Veronica nods. “Betty can’t seem to stop gushing about him, she spends every free minute she has at your apartment.”

 

“Yeah.” Jughead repeats.

 

“I think your baby is making her a little baby crazy. She keeps hinting.” Veronica admits as she folds her arms over her chest. “Anyway, I just wanted to congratulate you. Cheryl and I are really happy for you guys.”

 

Jughead knows she’s lying through her teeth, but he just nods and turns to boot up his laptop. He feels Cheryl’s gaze on him, but he can’t look her way. He can’t look her in the eye. He can’t because he knows what he did to her, he knows what he broke inside of her. Half of the office can’t stand him, and the other half just wishes the drama would disappear. Either way, he feels like there’s always a dark pair of eyes watching him. He feels it now as he tries to focus on starting his new article; he knows Cheryl is anything but happy for him, no matter what Veronica tells him.

 

And honestly? He doesn’t blame her.

 

-

 

The emails go unanswered and her desk is a mess of clippings and sketched out ideas. She’s been sifting through new designs all day and she wishes she could just disappear into one of the drawings. With a sigh, Cheryl drops her pen and leans back in her chair to pinch the bridge of her nose. She needs to go home, Veronica left over an hour ago with orders for Cheryl to calm down and go home. And Cheryl knows she should listen, but she just doesn’t want to leave.

 

She hates the idea of going home to a quiet house, a house that once held so much love and laughter. She doesn’t want to walk into a house that is much too big for her now, a house that Toni put all of her energy and heart into. She can’t walk into the place where she and Toni sat on a couch and discussed marriage and children. Cheryl sighs as she glances at her phone and notes that it’s almost ten o’clock. Yeah, it’s time to go.

 

“You’re still here.”

 

The words come from a deep, firm voice and Cheryl doesn’t bother to look up as she focuses on gathering her things. She can’t look at him without a burning urge to punch him in the face; the urge is strong and it runs heavy in her veins whenever she faces him. She hates him. God she hates him so much that it hurts. Cheryl clenches her jaw as she reaches for her jacket and purse while heavy footsteps sound from behind her.

 

“So, Toni was wondering if you…”

 

“No.” Cheryl cuts in. “I’m not.”

 

Jughead clears his throat, “Cheryl, we did a stupid thing. It was so stupid and selfish, but she regrets it. Please don’t freeze her out.”

 

“Oh, you’re defending her honor now?” Cheryl scoffs as she flashes him a glare. “That’s cute. I see you two are a _team_ now.”

 

“We’re…”

 

“Let me make this very clear to you,” Cheryl begins as she stands. “I’m not _freezing_ her out, I’m just doing what any logical person does after the love of their life has a child with someone else.”

 

Jughead flexes his jaw, “She misses you.”

 

Cheryl softens, “She should’ve missed me a long time ago.”

 

Cheryl barely spares him a passing glance as she brushes past him. As she hurries towards the elevator, her heels give a painful squeak as she pauses to take in the sight of a bundle of blue framed on Jughead’s desk. The bile rises in her throat when she sees Toni’s beautiful brown eyes, but Jughead’s nose. With that, Cheryl hurries to the elevator and manages to hold her tears back until the doors slowly slide closed.

 

-

 

Jughead knocks on Toni’s apartment door.

 

Despite the fact that he has a child with the woman, she still makes him knock. It annoys him and he’s let her know every chance he can, but she tells him time and time again that this is _her_ home and she doesn’t want him getting comfortable. Her brown eyes are hazy when she finally pulls the door open and he smiles slightly at the sight of the bundle in her arms. With a sigh, Jughead reaches for his son before he’s fully in the door and he chuckles as Gavin squirms in his arms.

 

“Hi.” Jughead nods.

 

“What are you doing here?” Toni demands. “It’s late.”

 

“I know, I just wanted to see him.” Jughead admits as he sways with the baby in his arms, and his heart swells as Gavin blinks tiredly. “I won’t stay long, just wanted to make sure you guys were okay.”

 

“We’re fine.” Toni shrugs. “We were fine this morning when you stopped by and every time you called to check on us. I don’t know how many times I have to assure you that I can handle this on my own.”

 

“So you’ve said.” Jughead mumbles as he rolls his eyes. “So, I saw Cheryl today. I uh I tried to talk to her about coming to see you.”

 

“What?” Toni snaps and the tone of her voice causes Gavin to startle as he begins to grunt in Jughead’s hold. “I told you to let me handle it, Jughead. She doesn’t want to come around right now. She may never want to come around, and I understand. I refuse to force her into something she doesn't want.”

 

“I was trying to help.” Jughead sighs. “I know you miss her. I thought if maybe you got some closure that things would be easier for you.”

 

Toni shakes her head as she reaches for Gavin, “It doesn’t work like that, it isn’t that simple. I made a stupid decision and I lost her, I don’t have the right to even miss her.”

 

Toni leaves the room with their son and he takes it as his que to leave. Jughead wishes he could stay, it pains him to have to walk away from his son but he knows Toni doesn’t want him around. He knows she needs space so she can beat herself up for the mistakes she made. He just wishes she’d move on from it like everyone else has, he wishes Toni would just let it go. Let _Cheryl_ go.

 

So, he leaves. Just like everyone else, he leaves.

 

-

 

“Betty wants to have a baby…”

 

Cheryl pauses with a smirk, “Oh?”

 

“Yeah. Terrible, right?” Veronica replies with a look of horror. “I mean, we’ve only been married for a year so I think it’s a little too soon. She’s just like this because of all the time she’s been spending with GJ. Or at least I hope that’s why.”

 

“GJ.” Cheryl repeats with a small, hesitant smile. “I knew it.”

 

Veronica arches an eyebrow, “Something special about that?”

 

“Nothing more than a memory.” Cheryl nods as her smile slowly drains away to a scowl. “So, you were talking about Betty.”

 

“Um. Yeah. She wants a baby.” Veronica whispers.

 

“Ladies, how is the article coming along?” Jules asks, but she holds up a hand as Cheryl goes to answer. “Honestly, I don’t care. I want you to scratch this fashion theme. I want you looking into the Mills case.”

 

Cheryl scowls, “As in Harper and Linda Mills?”

 

“That would be them. They have tabloids lining up trying to break their fur drama and I want _us_ to be the ones exposing it.” Jules declares. “You two are my fashion gurus and you’re also sneaky which is going to come in handy.”

 

“Isn’t this a story better suited for Jughead…?”

 

“We’ll take it.” Cheryl jumps in.

 

“Good. Get to work.” Jules orders.

 

With a smirk, Jules leaves them while Cheryl immediately dives into pulling up anything she can on the Mills. The two women bury themselves in their work for a few minutes and are quick to swap information as they begin to build their lead. From a few desks down, Cheryl hears Jughead laugh and she looks up to see him showing off the photo on his desk. With a flex of her jaw, Cheryl focuses back on their assignment; she’ll use this as a distraction to avoid the inevitable for now.

 

“You okay?” Veronica asks softly.

 

Cheryl blows out a laugh, “Oh. Totally.”

 

Both women know she’s anything but.


	2. their world turned upside down

Veronica loves Betty

 

She has loved Betty since the moment she met her when she was fresh off an internship and vibrating confidence alongside her best friend. It was her and Cheryl’s first big report when things had turned sour between a designer and model; Cheryl left the venue with a black eye while Veronica managed to make it to the hospital only to collapse into a blonde’s arm with a massive cut from a heel that had hit her.

 

The same blonde had shown up in her hospital room hours later and the moment Veronica saw bright blue eyes she knew she was a goner. And that’s why a high on painkillers Veronica took it upon herself to fumble out a request for a date with the beautiful blonde _doctor._ And the rest, you could say, was history. And her relationship with Betty is what led to the relationship between Cheryl and Toni. It led to a relationship between their two best friends who were supposedly undateable but found a sense of peace in one another.

 

Before her, Veronica watched as Cheryl became softer and more open. Her best friend went from walking around with a guarded heart to freely opening herself up to anyone who asked. From Betty, Veronica learned that Toni became a better person in general. She stopped drinking on the weekends and traded it in for movie nights with Cheryl, and all the bad in her life suddenly became good because Cheryl was there to brighten it. Together, Cheryl and Toni became better versions of themselves.

 

They were perfect for each other, so in love and ready to build a future together. They were happy, the four of them. They were perfectly blended together and Veronica loved it. Up until the hours in the office began to drag on and trips out of the country started to begin, until Cheryl closed herself off and Toni disappeared into a darkness that Veronica knew little about.

 

Until Jughead Jones.

 

Veronica stood by and watched as her best friend’s world crumbled around her and Veronica was left with the difficult task of picking up the pieces. It wasn’t too hard, Cheryl didn’t do anything rash or crazy, she just buried herself in work. She kept herself busy and worked till her eyes were heavy and her body was weak. There were a lot of nights when her best friend slept in her car to avoid going into that empty house.

 

So yes, Veronica loves Betty. She loves her wife so much sometimes that it hurts. But she doesn’t love her wife’s best friend, not anymore.

 

-

 

Gavin Antonio Jones is her whole world.

 

He’s the reason why Toni wakes up and the reason she falls asleep with a smile on her face. It’s only been two months and Toni is utterly obsessed with her son; she loves Gavin more than she has ever loved anything before. The baby is just perfect and Toni spends hours upon hours just staring at him, marveling at his handsome features. But today is different, today she wakes up with a knot in her stomach because today she goes back to work. Today, she is leaving Gavin to be cooed over by an all too eager Alice Cooper.

 

Toni putters around the apartment and ticks off random instructions to Alice and lectures her on how Gavin takes his milk and how he sleeps with his yellow blanket and never the green one. She tells the nodding woman things she already knows. Toni kisses Gavin’s cheeks and counts his toes as she tries to ignore the way her hands shake when she rests her son in Alice’s steady arms. She backs away and gathers her jacket, and forces herself to walk out; she knows that if she doesn’t go now then she won’t go at all.

 

A shudder of a breath leaves her as she climbs into her car and stares blankly out the windshield. She finally notices the way her hands quiver as she starts her car, and she tries to steady them by grasping the steering wheel. Toni chews at her lower lip and tries to remind herself she _needs_ to be back at work, she needs to make money to support her kid. She just doesn’t want to go back to work and miss her little boy.

 

Her lip aches as she continues to gnaw at it and she considers getting out of the car. She considers sending a big fuck you to the hospital and telling them they’ll have to find a new nurse for the ER. Toni has her hand on the buckle to free herself when her phone vibrates and a familiar name lights up the screen. The name causes memories to wash over her, causes that unmistakable flutter in her chest as she hesitates before she finally types in her password and stares at the text.

 

**Bombshell❤: I heard today is your first day back at the hospital...you’ve got this. Kick ass and take names.**

 

Toni doesn’t know why, but she suddenly feels like she can breathe again. She feels like suddenly the band that has been around her lungs has burst, and she can finally take in the air that has been trapped since she and Cheryl broke up. It’s the first time Cheryl has made a reach towards her since their breakup and she knows that with Cheryl’s belief she can get through this day.

 

And she does.

 

-

 

The article she and Veronica are working on has them busier than she expected. She spends hours pulling information and calling fur companies, she spends an entire day arguing with PETA, and days scratching random notes down. Cheryl rubs at her brow as she stares at the board and steps back to cross her arms over her chest; there’s just something about the Mills that has her hooked and it’s driving her crazy.

 

“So, Betty told me you texted Toni…”

 

Cheryl glances over her shoulder, “So?”

 

“So, are you sure you know what you’re doing with this, Cher?” Veronica asks as she keeps her gaze on her laptop screen. “You waited almost a year to reach out so why now?”

 

“I know Toni.” Cheryl sighs as she slowly turns to face her best friend. “She was supposed to go back to work and I know she was probably sitting in her car freaking out…so, I gave her a boost.”

 

“And that’s it?” Veronica demands.

 

“Yeah, that’s it. I didn’t text her again and she didn’t text back.” Cheryl shrugs as she leans against the edge of her desk. “Why are you asking me so many questions? It was just a text.”

 

“I don’t want you to get hurt again, Cheryl.” Veronica admits as she removes her glasses. “Toni and I may have found a common ground, and I’m working on being civil but I know what you went through. I don’t want you to ever feel that heartbroken again.”

 

Cheryl softens at her concern, “I can take care of myself, Ronnie. I appreciate you being worried, but I’m perfectly fine. It was just a text, and that’s all it’s going to be. Okay?”

 

“Pinky swear?” Veronica scowls.

 

Cheryl reaches out to curl her pinky around Veronica’s as she smiles, “Pinky swear.”

 

“Well, this is touching.” Jules drawls as she approaches the pair. “And as sweet as it may be, you should be doing something else. Something that involves an article.”

 

“The Mills have a regular runner that hangs out down by Studio B, pretty sure he deals out to the celebrities filming there.” Cheryl sighs as she releases Veronica’s pinky. “Should we go check it out? See what he knows?”

 

“We’re not cops. And it's dark out…” Veronica squeaks.

 

“But you _are_ chasing a very important story and sometimes reporters need to get their hands a little dirty.” Jules replies. “After this article is released, you two can go back to drooling over Vera Wang dresses and interviewing designers. Deal?”

 

Cheryl and Veronica swap smiles, “Deal!”

 

-

 

“Hi, handsome.”

 

“Well, hello to you too.” Jughead teases.

 

Toni drops the smile on her face as she glares at the man holding their son in his strong arms, “What have I told you about saying that kind of stuff, Jug? I won’t tell you again, stop flirting with me.”

 

“I was only teasing, T.” Jughead assures her as he offers Gavin up, and the woman takes him with a guarded expression. “When are you going to get over this? Treating me like an outsider.”

 

“Listen, Juggie. I will never regret what happened between us,” Toni whispers and she tenses as Jughead gives a small smile. “But only because of GJ. _He_ is the reason why I will never regret it, but you? I regret you.”

 

“Wow. Tell me how you really feel.” Jughead scoffs.

 

“I’ve been _trying_ to tell you how I really feel since I told you I was pregnant.” Toni snaps as she moves to rest Gavin in his bassinet. “I don’t have feelings for you, I was drunk and lonely. I wanted to feel something and I made a mistake.”

 

“I just don’t understand why you won’t give us a chance.” Jughead frowns as he crosses his arms over his chest. “We have a child together, he deserves the chance to be raised by both of his parents. Something we both never had.”

 

“He _will_ be raised by both of us, but we’re not raising him as a couple. I don’t love you, Jughead. That’s not fair to you.” Toni murmurs. “I just want to be friends, for GJ’s sake.”

 

Jughead shakes his head, “She’s not going to take you back, Toni.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Cheryl. She’s not going to take you back.” Jughead replies as he grabs his jacket. “She’s moved on. You should see her at work, she’s as happy as can be. Maybe you should let her go too.”

 

Jughead leaves after he presses a kiss to Gavin’s forehead and Toni leans back against the wall with a breathless expression. His words run through her head as she blinks and tries to process it; she doesn’t understand, she can’t imagine Cheryl with someone else. She isn’t sure how long she leans against the counter, but she manages to snap out of her dark thoughts when Gavin cries and reminds her of how she got into this mess in the first place.

 

-

 

Her shoulder screams in protest as she lands hard on it, the air disappears from her lungs as she stays pressed to the ground. Her ears ring as she struggles to it up, and her gaze immediately searches for Veronica who is mourning over her now ripped leather jacket. With a grunt, Cheryl runs a hand through her hair as she turns her head to watch the thin man take off through the alleyway and towards a waiting car.

 

“My jacket.” Veronica whines.

 

“Tell me again why we thought this was worth being pulled away from pretty dresses and floral print. We just got our asses kicked.” Cheryl huffs as she brushes her fingers through the slick patch on her forehead. “I want my day job back.”

 

“All we did is ask him about Linda…”

 

“We probably should’ve planned this a little better. And maybe brought some muscle.” Cheryl sighs as she watches Veronica touch her ribs. “I feel like I’m going to throw up, Ronnie.”

 

“Well, that guy kinda used you as a basketball so I think you have a concussion.” Veronica replies as she struggles to stand. “And I know for a fact that my ribs are a mess.”

 

Cheryl winces, “Fuck.”

 

“You know this means, right?” Veronica smirks as she helps Cheryl to her feet. “Time to visit my beautiful wife.”

 

“Oh joy.” Cheryl grumbles.

 

**-**

 

Cheryl sits on the hospital bed with a stiff spine and pout as she waits for her discharge papers. Much to her horror, she knows she’ll be adding another scar to her list of injuries as she reaches up to run her fingers over the white guaze taped to her forehead. With a sigh, she kicks her legs and tries to remind herself why she chose to be a reporter, all its done for the last few years has caused her nothing but problems. It cost her Toni. That thought causes her temples to throb, and Cheryl forces it down. She can’t allow herself to be caught up in that right now, her mind needs to be the Mills.

 

With an annoyed glance to her phone screen, Cheryl heaves a breath and impatiently waits. Just as she’s getting comfortable, the door flings open and for the second time in twenty four hours she feels her world shift on its axis. She feels time pause. She feels her heart race. All because she is met with a pair of brown eyes that make her weak in the knees. Suddenly, Cheryl feels just as dizzy as she did earlier in that parking lot and she presses a hand to her stomach to try to quell the butterflies that suddenly come alive.

 

“Toni…”

 

“Hey, Betty called me.” Toni whispers as she scans Cheryl over with worry in her gaze. “Apparently I’m still your emergency contact. I-I didn’t get the first call, I was asleep. I am so sorry, it’s late and...”

 

Cheryl blinks in confusion, “Excuse me?”

 

“I guess you never changed it, your emergency contact.” Toni shrugs as she moves to haul the carseat onto the table. “What happened, Cheryl? Are you okay? Do you have any other injuries? Do you have a concussion?”

 

Cheryl tries to keep up with what Toni is saying, tries to pretend like she’s listening, but all she can focus on is how warm her heart is. Even after all this time, Cheryl is still head over heels for the woman before her. She still feels her palms sweat, still gets a swarm of butterflies, and still has to hold on tight to reality as she looks into those doe brown eyes. How can it be that she still loves Toni so much? How can this woman have such an effect on her after hurting her so badly? The thought makes Cheryl’s head spin and she squeezes her eyes shut for a beat as she tries to calm her racing thoughts.

 

“Um…” Cheryl blinks and continues to stare. “I uh I don’t know. I mean, yes I do. I do have a concussion. The doctor says it’s a minor one.”

 

Toni tilts her head in wonder, “Do you have anyone staying with you? You’re more than welcome to stay with me.”

 

“Jason is going to come stay with me, he’s on his way to pick me up.” Cheryl replies before a grunt catches her attention and her eyes quickly dart to the carseat beside her. “Is that…?”

 

“Gavin? Yeah.” Toni nods.

 

Cheryl sucks in a breath as she leans over to peek into the carseat and her heart immediately swells with adoration, “Wow. Toni, he’s so handsome. He looks just like you.”

 

“Doesn’t he though?” Toni chuckles as she glances fondly to her son who is busy fussing. “He’s absolutely perfect.”

 

“I can’t argue with that. Look at those cheeks, he’s definitely going to have your lips. And your glare. I can already see it.” Cheryl teases as she continues to marvel over the infant. “You and Jughead make beautiful children.”

 

“I…” Toni trials off with a wince as she reaches slowly into the carseat to deal with a fussy Gavin. “I mean, I agree with you to an extent but I don’t like it. GJ is about ninety percent me, and ten percent Jughead.”

 

Cheryl laughs softly, “You would think that.”

 

“He has his nose and that’s about it. Even his father says GJ looks just like me.” Toni shrugs as she smiles down at her son. “Isn’t that right, baby? Don’t you look just like me? You’re my mini me. Adorable and strong, huh?”

 

Cheryl stares at Toni and soaks in this moment, she thinks of how many times she has pictured this exact scenario into her head. Usually it was in their old bedroom with a little girl and Toni always had a ring on her finger, a ring that is hidden in the second drawer of Cheryl’s dresser. With a breath of sadness, Cheryl watches with wide eyes as Toni ducks her head and presses the softest of kisses against the smooth skin of Gavin’s forehead. It’s so perfect, so beautiful and Cheryl feels her eyes well up as she struggles to come back to reality. That isn’t her son and Toni doesn’t have a ring on her finger, this is just a moment that she doesn’t belong in.

 

Cheryl clears her throat, “Thank you for coming.”

 

“You don’t have to thank me.” Toni replies in a soft voice as she meets Cheryl’s gaze. “But I should probably get going, I’m sure your boyfriend or girlfriend will be here soon.”

 

“My... _what_?” Cheryl scowls.

 

“Jughead told me that you were seeing someone new.” Toni whispers as she shifts Gavin in her arms and drops her gaze. “He told me you were happier than he’d ever seen you. And I want you to know that I am so happy for you and...”

 

Cheryl tosses her head back and releases a laugh of disbelief, “Toni, no. I’m not seeing anyone. I mean, I’ve had a couple of dates but I am very much single. I don’t have time to date.”

 

“He...He said you moved on.” Toni murmurs as her brow furrows in confusion. “I told him that I didn’t want to be with him, and he told me that I needed to move on. That I needed to just let you go. He...He fucking _lied_ to me.”

 

“Toni,” Cheryl begins. “It’s okay.”

 

“It is _not_ okay, Cheryl.” Toni scoffs as she catches her gaze. “He feels so threatened by the fact that I’m not over you that he just...lies. He’s trying to manipulate the situation, manipulate _me._ And I won’t allow it. No fucking way.”

 

Cheryl smiles as she watches Toni pace while unconsciously rocking Gavin in a protective cradle. She missed this, missed watching Toni lose herself in thought. She thinks it’s adorable. She _still_ thinks it’s adorable. The thought makes her stomach tighten as Toni’s words slowly catch up with her: _I’m not over you, I’m not over you, I’m not over you._ Like the hundreds of dreams she’s had since the day she kicked Toni out, the words are like a soft touch being pressed to her chest. It’s like coming up from beneath the water and filling your lungs with a sweet gasp of air. It’s everything she has wanted to hear, it’s perfect.

 

“Cheryl?”

 

Cheryl tenses, “JJ. Hi.”

 

“Uh, sorry I made you wait.” Jason frowns as he steps into the room with a puzzled scowl. “I didn’t think I’d see you here, T.”

 

“Emergency contact.” Cheryl explains with a forced smile.

 

Jason nods in understanding, “Hey, is that your little guy?”

 

Cheryl relaxes at how easy her brother responds to the sight of Toni, he just goes with the flow and makes sure to take the time in making her comfortable. She loves that about her brother, loves that he never once said anything negative about Toni because he knows how she felt about her. How she _feels_ about her. Jason is the only one she can turn to and cry about the nights when she can’t get the sound of Toni’s laugh out of her head or can’t go anywhere without remembering something about the woman she still loves so much. With a hard swallow, Cheryl continues to watch as Jason coos over Gavin while Toni rocks him and gives her brother a familiar gentle smile.

 

It’s too much.

 

“You’re free to go, Toni.” Cheryl whispers, and she hates how cold her tone is.

 

Toni looks to her with wide eyes, “O-Of course.”

 

“I’ll see to having my emergency contact changed so I won’t be a bother again.” Cheryl muses as she glances lazily down at her red painted nails. “Save you a drive over.”

 

“You could never be a bother, Cheryl.” Toni assures her as she buckles Gavin into the carseat. “But if you’d like to change your emergency contact then it’s your own decision.”

 

Cheryl gives a slow nod, “Thank you. For coming.”

 

“Always, Cher.”

 

Toni leaves and Cheryl feels the emptiness settle deep in the pit of her stomach, but something else grows alongside it. It’s hope. A tiny seed planted all because of Toni’s reaction to Jughead. It’s a hope she shouldn’t even feel, she’s supposed to be moving on. But how can she move on when the love of her life is the one she’s leaving behind? Cheryl looks up into her brother’s warm gaze and her lower lip quivers as a tear falls. Before a sob can slip, Cheryl is in his arms and she falls apart knowing that Jason will piece her together.


	3. hand in my hand (we promised to never let go)

“I want my godson!”

 

Toni smiles at the call of a voice, “Nursery!”

 

“Oh, let me see him.” Betty orders as she comes barreling into the room. “Did the doctor do okay with giving him his shots? Did he cry?”

 

“Of course he did.” Toni replies as she finishes changing his diaper. “He got that cute little pouty expression on his face, and then just sobbed. It was heartbreaking, I had to plug my ears.”

 

“My poor baby.” Betty coos as she crosses the room to stand beside Toni. “Did the mean doctors hurt my little man?”

 

“He’s all better now. He was being strong for mommy when he saw how upset I was.” Toni smirks as she zips up his footie pajamas. “Weren’t you, handsome? You were being so tough for mommy because you love her.”

 

“How could he not?” Betty chuckles as she reaches out to sweep Gavin into her arms. “But you love your Auntie Betty too, right? We’re going to be best friends and have so much fun together.”

 

“Just don’t let her talk you into tattoos, alright? You’ll walk into that shop thinking you’re something and have a whole lot of regrets when you leave with a giant ass Serpent on your ribs.” Toni scoffs. “Just ask Uncle Pea about his decision to get a neck tattoo all because Auntie Betty batted her eyelashes.”

 

“Hey, those tattoos are amazing. We’re bonded for life because of it. And it was a right of passage into the Serpents.” Betty points out with a pout. “Now, can we discuss why I’m really here?”

 

“It isn’t to visit your favorite people?” Toni gaps. “I am _hurt_ , Elizabeth Cooper.”

 

“Well, seeing you two is a definite perk to my visit but ultimately not why I’m here.” Betty admits. “I’m here because my beautiful wife is nursing some pretty nasty bruised ribs and a cut on her chin. How’s Cheryl?”

 

Toni tenses with Gavin’s dirty clothes in her hand, “Uh, fine? I guess.”

 

“Well, you did see her...right?” Betty frowns.

 

“Yeah, but we didn’t exactly have time for small talk or anything.” Toni sneers. “It was um...she kinda met GJ for the first time so things were a little awkward. And then she dropped a bomb about Jughead and his  _lying._ ”

 

“Jughead lied?” Betty scowls. “About what?”

 

“About Cheryl being in a relationship.” Toni replies with a roll of her eyes. “He wants us to be together. Like, me and him. Together. In a relationship. Raising Gavin, like a family.”

 

Betty gives her a forced smile, “Is that so bad?”

 

“Yes. Of course it is.” Toni responds with a look of disbelief. “Betty, the only feelings I have for Jug pertain to our son. I don’t love him, I never did and I never will. As far as I was concerned, he was a mistake. A mistake Cheryl and I wanted to put in our past, but couldn’t.”

 

“Because of the pregnancy?” Betty mumbles.

 

Toni sighs at the annoyance on Betty’s face, “I couldn’t ask her to stay. We barely worked through me sleeping with Jughead in the first place, but working through a pregnancy? With him hanging around? That wasn’t the live we wanted for ourselves.”

 

“So, she dumped you.” Betty nods. “I know.”

 

“Don’t make her into the bad guy, Betts.” Toni pleads as she throws Gavin’s clothes in his hamper. “She tried. She really did. I wanted her to stay so badly, but I didn’t have the right to beg her to.”

 

“You were _pregnant_. You needed her.” Betty points out with a huff. “I understand that she was dealing with a lot, but so were you. Her pushing you away and then pulling you back wasn’t fair, you went through so much…”

 

“Betty, you’ve been my friend my entire life. My rock. My constant.” Toni whispers as her eyes slowly well with tears. “But you can’t save me from this. I made a mistake, I hurt Cheryl and I need to live with that. I won’t let anyone downplay it.”

 

Betty continues to rock Gavin with a frown, “You _have_ lived with it, Toni. I’ve watched you torture yourself over and over. You did a bad thing, but you’re not a bad person. I just wish you could see that.”

 

“I’ve _tried._ ” Toni shrugs. “I’ve tried not to think of myself as a bad person, but I am. I did a bad thing to a good person. You know how people try to justify cheating?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Well, I tried that. I really did.” Toni admits with a laugh that holds no humor. “I thought about how lonely I was, how mad I was that Cheryl kept jetting out of town, how...how _betrayed_ I felt whenever she asked to take a break. I let myself come up with all of these excuses and then I realized that there isn’t an excuse. I _cheated_ on her.”

 

“In a way, you did.” Betty nods, and Toni flinches at the bright understanding in her eyes. “But you guys also weren’t _together_. Yes, it was a break and I know that you two were intending to get back together but she wanted space and…”

 

“If you wanted space, and Veronica decided to sleep with someone else, would you still be standing in front of me saying all this?” Toni demands, and she scoffs in triumph at Betty’s blush. “Exactly. I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but I don’t deserve it. I will _never_ deserve it.”

 

Betty gives a slow nod, “But do you regret it? If you could go back in time, would you change it?”

 

“I do regret it, but I don’t regret GJ. He’s my whole entire world, and I have never loved someone as much as I love him.” Toni admits. “But if I could go back and change it? Stop it from happening? Yeah, I would. Because eventually I would’ve had GJ, and it would’ve been with the right person.”

 

Betty doesn’t have to ask and Toni bother doesn’t to tell, they both already know who she’s talking about.

 

-

 

“Wait, wait…he did _what_?”

 

Cheryl flushes, “Lower your voice, Gossip Girl.”

 

“Cheryl, he _lied_ to Toni about you dating?” Veronica demands with wide eyes. “And Toni admitted to not being over you? All of this happened in twenty four hours? You live in a damn soap opera.”

 

“Thank you for those kind words of confidence, Ronnie. Really appreciate it.” Cheryl scoffs. “Now, put on your therapist glasses and tell me what to do. How do I handle this?”

 

“I...honestly don’t know.” Veronica admits as she raises her eyebrows. “If it were me, I’d be knocking Jughead on his ass.”

 

Cheryl groans and pinches the bridge of her nose, “I can’t just punch him for lying.”

 

“On the contrary, I punched Chuck that one time he lied about Betty sleeping with him.” Veronica reminds her with a bright, proud smile. “And Betty punched Archie when he lied about trying to kiss me. Violence keeps the romance alive.”

 

“You are _sick_. Demented.” Cheryl chuckles.

 

Veronica laughs softly before she reaches out to press a hand over Cheryl’s, “In all seriousness, I think you need to talk to Jughead. I’m not saying punch him or anything, but talk to him.”

 

“And say what? Tell him he’s an idiot for thinking that Toni will ever feel anything for him? Yell at him for ruining my life and _continuing_ to try to ruin it? Remind him that Toni and I still care about each other and that will never change?” Cheryl scoffs. “I don’t even know if I can without crying.”

 

“If you start crying…”

 

“Ronnie, if you say punch him in the face…” Cheryl warns, and a smile tugs at her lips when the woman falls silent. “This is a lot to take in, okay? It’s not like I’m planning to suddenly start playing house with Toni and Gavin.”

 

Veronica hesitates for a moment, “What’s the deal with that name anyway?”

 

“There isn’t a sentimental value to it for me, if that’s where this is going.” Cheryl warns. “It’s just the name of a man who helped Toni when she was younger, he gave her a place to stay.”

 

“But you discussed naming your child Gavin?”

 

“No. Not really. She’s always liked the name, but I was always attached to Connor.” Cheryl shrugs, and her attention dwindles as Jughead scuffles into the office. “There he is.”

 

“Go.” Veronica orders.

 

Cheryl hesitates as she watches him slip into the copy room, “I don’t know if this is a good idea, Ronnie. I don’t know what to say.”

 

“On the contrary, m’dear,” Veronica hums as she turns her attention back to her layouts. “You know _exactly_ what you want to say.”

 

After a minute of stalling, Cheryl gives in and stands to follow Jughead into the secluded copy room. The door sounds so loud as she closes it behind her and her heart beats wildly in her chest as Jughead glances up and tenses. Just like that, just one look at his face and seeing the features that match Gavin, the words settle on the tip of her tongue and she readies herself to let them out.

 

“Cheryl.” Jughead nods.

 

“Why?”

 

Jughead sighs, “Why what?”

 

“Why Toni?” Cheryl asks.

 

“I don’t…”

 

“I don’t _care_ what you want.” Cheryl replies in a cold, harsh tone. “I care about why you slept with my girlfriend and then proceeded to continue to pursue her when you found out she was pregnant.”

 

“I…”

 

“Before that party, you two spoke maybe three or four times,” Cheryl begins, and she is surprised by how calm her tone. “But you knew who she was, you knew she was my girlfriend. So, why...why did you sleep with her?”

 

Jughead swallows hard, “She was there.”

 

“So were tons of other _single_ people, Jughead. Why did it have to be her?” Cheryl demands. “We were so happy, and you _ruined_ that.”

 

“No, Cheryl,” Jughead scoffs. “ _You_ ruined it.”

 

Cheryl pauses, “Excuse me?”

 

“ _You_ asked for a break. _You_ asked her to stay somewhere else. _You_ left her alone at that party so you could catch a flight.” Jughead lists. “She may have been the one to sleep with me, but own up to the fact that you drove her to it.”

 

“Veronica was right, I _should_ hit you.” Cheryl sneers with a shake of her head. “I didn’t drive her to sleep with you, she did that all on her own. I know I made mistakes, but I was willing to work on them.”

 

Jughead gives a bitter laugh, “Can we talk about what your _real_ problem is? Why you’re really so upset about this?”

 

“The floor is all yours, Jones,” Cheryl scoffs as she holds her arms out. “I’m so interested to hear exactly what you think my problem is.”

 

“You’re not used to not getting your way.” Jughead hisses. “You can’t stand the fact that I took your favorite toy away, that I gave her the attention and affection she so desperately craved.”

 

Cheryl goes rigid, “She isn’t a toy.”

 

“It’s a metaphor.” Jughead scoffs with an annoyed roll of his eyes. “All I’m trying to say is that I apologize that you’re hurting, but you need to realize why this situation _really_ hurts. You lost. For the first time, you didn’t win.”

 

“You think I’m upset because you took her away from me? Like she’s some kind of object?” Cheryl demands in a breathless tone. “I _love_ her, Jughead. I am so in love with her that I have an engagement ring waiting for her in my dresser drawer.”

 

Jughead falters, “Cheryl…”

 

“You didn’t _take her away,_ you destroyed a relationship. A happiness.” Cheryl whispers. “Do you think that there is even the slightest bit of a chance that Toni could ever be happy with you? That she _wants_ to be?”

 

“We’re a family.” Jughead snaps.

 

“I know what family means to Toni, how important that word is. You are _not_ her family. Gavin is. Betty, Sweet Pea, Fangs, Kevin, Valerie, Josie, Reggie. _Me_.” Cheryl growls as she slaps a harsh hand to her chest. “ _We_ are her family.”

 

“We have a child…”

 

“That doesn’t make you a family. That makes you parents.” Cheryl corrects. “Jughead, you can lie to yourself all you want but reality is going to catch up and it’s going to hurt.”

 

“I’m not worried about whatever reality you’re talking about.” Jughead assures her. “Toni and I will figure it out when it comes our way.”

 

Cheryl slowly ducks her head and gives a humorless laugh, “I really hope you see what’s happening before it’s too late. Oh, and Jughead?”

 

“What?”

 

“Lie to her about me again and I really will take Veronica’s advice.” Cheryl snarls, and she sees the way his shoulders tense. “And I pack a mean right hook.”

 

Cheryl slips from the copy room and closes the door in time to avoid the slew of papers that Jughead flings across the room. As she leaves him to wallow, to question, she feels a flame being relight within her. A flame she swore had burned out so long ago, a flame that flickers for one person and one person only. But Cheryl pushes it away and drops into her chair across from Veronica, and her best friend meets her gaze with slight concern.

 

“No tears?”

 

Cheryl nods, “Not a single one.”

 

“Any punches?” Veronica chirps.

 

“Get to work, Ronnie.”

 

Veronica sulks in disappointment, “That’s a no.”

 

-

 

“How was work?” Veronica asks.

 

Betty finishes rubbing the lotion into her arms, “We had a few bursts, but the floor was pretty calm. I only had to scrub into two surgeries.”

 

“That’s good.” Veronica nods. “How’s Toni?”

 

“She’s good. Exhausted. Gavin just had his first round of shots.” Betty sighs as she gives a small pout of sympathy. “I was thinking of maybe setting up a dinner next weekend.”

 

“With our parents?” Veronica frowns as she scrunches her nose. “B, the last thing we need is those vultures pecking at our lives right now. In fact, if we never have to sit through another forced awkward dinner then I’d be thrilled.”

 

“I was talking about a dinner party with our friends, V. No parents allowed.” Betty assures her. “Josie, Reggie, Valerie, Sweets, Fangs, and of course all the babies…”

 

“Why do I feel like you’re leaving something out about this dinner?” Veronica scoffs. “Who else is on this guest list?”

 

“Cheryl.” Betty shrugs. “And Toni?”

 

Veronica shakes her head, “If you invite Toni then that means her son comes too, I don’t think it’s fair to put Cheryl through that.”

 

“She’s already met Gavin!” Betty points out.

 

“So?”

 

“So? So, this is a good thing. She didn’t freak out, right?” Betty offers with an excited half-smile. “I think this could be good for them, give them a chance to talk in an open yet private setting.”

 

“I don’t know, B.” Veronica begins as she climbs onto their bed. “That’s kind of manipulative, don’t you think? Just tossing them together?”

 

“I thought you said you supported the idea of them getting back together.” Betty scoffs. “I thought it was something we both agreed would be good for them, that they were soulmates.”

 

“Betty, Toni has a child with another man. Happy endings and soulmates don’t exist for them anymore, alright? This is the big kid world.” Veronica snaps. “I know I said I wanted them to get back together, but I lied. Okay? I lied.”

 

Betty falters, “Why?”

 

“Because I love you.” Veronica replies. “I love you, and I know how much you wanted them to work and I didn’t want you to think that they wouldn’t.”

 

“Toni made a mistake…”

 

“And now she has a child.” Veronica points out.

 

“That doesn’t mean that they can’t work.” Betty scowls. “They still love each other and they’re _miserable._ We got them together the first time, we can do it again and…”

 

“Toni basically  _cheated_ on my best friend!” Veronica exclaims, and Betty immediately goes quiet. “Why would I want her to go through that again? Why would I support that kind of relationship?”

 

“Hey, Toni may have messed up to a point of no return but they both had their flaws.” Betty scolds as she folds her arms over her chest. “Cheryl was gone all the time, they fought constantly, and drifted apart because their communication skills _sucked_.”

 

“So, Toni’s solution was to go to one of our work parties, hunt down the broodiest man in the room, and produce a spawn? Smart.” Veronica sneers. “I know Cheryl was distant, but Toni still broke her heart and shattered her entire world.”

 

“So, what happens now? We just do nothing? We sit back and watch them suffer?” Betty pouts. “I just want them to be happy.”

 

“Babe, if they’re meant to be happy together then they will be. All the meddling in the world won’t fix them right now, they need time.” Veronica sighs as she runs a hand through her hair. “Toni needs time to work through what she did, to forgive herself. She needs time with her son.”

 

Betty bites her lower lip, “And Cheryl?”

 

“Cheryl? Cheryl needs a goddamn drink.” Veronica snorts, but her smile falters at Betty’s face. “Baby, she just needs time. She needs to figure this out on her own, we can’t do anything else. I know you want to help her, but you can’t always be the hero.”

 

“But Toni…”

 

“Toni is okay. You know that. You see how happy she is with Gavin, she’s finding her peace. She’ll be okay, baby.” Veronica assures her before she nods to the bed. “Now, will you come lay down? I want you to hold me.”

 

Betty smiles softly, “What about Cheryl? Is she finding her peace?”

 

“Betty, I don’t want to worry about them. Not right now. I want to worry about us, about our future. I want to have _the_ talk.” Veronica murmurs as she twists her wedding band.

 

“The talk?” Betty repeats.

 

“I want...I want a baby.” Veronica admits with a slight flush. “I want us to have a baby.”

 

Betty blinks in surprise, “You do?”

 

“I do. Of course I do, baby.” Veronica beams as she kneels on the mattress and opens her arms. “You are an amazing friend, a wonderful daughter, the perfect wife, and I know for a fact that you’re going to be an absolutely angel of a mother.”

 

“V,” Betty breathes out as she crosses the room to cup her face. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I am so lucky.”

 

“Yeah, you really are.” Veronica smirks.

 

Betty smiles against her lips, “Wanna try and make a baby?”

 

“I’m not sure it really works like that.” Veronica chuckles even as she allows Betty to guide her backwards. “But I am a perfectionist, and practice makes perfect.”

 

“Yes, yes it does.”

 

-

 

Cheryl can’t sleep.

 

She’s tossed, turned, and flipped every which way yet her body just won’t shut down. She considers making tea, but she finds her hand reaching for her abandoned iPhone and texting someone she shouldn’t. The thrill that rolls through her body causes Cheryl’s chest to lock as she watches the bubble pop up on the screen. All she can do now is stare at the three letters with wide eyes and sweating palms; she should’ve just taken a sleeping pill, avoided getting herself into this mess.

 

But this is what happens when Toni comes into her life, she’s completely helpless to her. For as long as Cheryl can remember, love has never been simple for her; she battled for her parents affections, wared with women over Jason’s attention, and tortured herself with jealousy in every relationship she encountered. But then Toni came into her life. She was thrust into Cheryl’s life and suddenly it wasn’t so hard, suddenly there was no fight to win because Toni never made her compete. Toni takes her for who she is and runs with it, she accepts Cheryl’s flaws and finds them _cute_.

 

**Cheryl: Hey.**

 

The minutes tick by and Cheryl feels the ball of silent rejection roll through her. As the time treks by, she considers hunting down a bottle of Nyquil or _anything_ to send her into a deep sleep so she can just avoid dealing with this. Her mind begins to flash with images of Toni cuddling Jughead, both of them staring down at the beautiful child they created. Her mind screams at her, reminds her why she shouldn’t text Toni at all. Her mind screams and protests, but her heart immediately soars when her phone gives a sharp ping and she is greeted with a simple response from Toni.

 

**Toni: Hi. You ok?**

 

And just like that, she’s knocked breathless.

 

**Cheryl: Yeah. I’m fine.**

 

**Cheryl: Why are you awake?**

 

**Toni: Gavin is up so that means I’m up lol**

 

**Toni: So…**

 

**Toni: Whats really going on?**

 

Cheryl winces at how well Toni knows her, knows her ticks. She lingers over the screen and tries to think of how to respond, but everything just feels blank. The words won’t come. She just hovers her thumbs over the screen and tries to piece together all the thoughts swimming through her head. Honestly, she doesn’t know what’s going on. She hasn’t been able to think clearly since Toni came rushing into that hospital room with that familiar smile and freshly dyed blonde hair. She hasn’t been able to catch up with her own thoughts since a door she slammed shut was kicked back open.

 

**Toni: Cher?**

 

**Cheryl: I don’t know. I shouldn’t have texted you. I’m sorry. Goodnight, Toni. I hope Gavin goes to bed soon so you can get some rest.**

 

Cheryl can see the three bubbles bouncing on her screen, but she simply tosses her phone onto the floor and rolls into her pillow. She feels like she’s in high school again, running away from her feelings and avoiding thing she needs to confront. The phone vibrates harshly on the hardwood floor and Cheryl blows out a harsh breath as she rolls over and looks down at the bright screen. The words glare back at and they’re so sweet, so _Toni_ , that Cheryl can’t stop the first tear from falling.

 

**Toni: I’m here if you need me. Always, Cher.**

 

“I need you _here_.” Cheryl whispers into the darkness of her empty bedroom. “You were supposed to be here…you were supposed to stay.”

 

Cheryl stares at the screen of the phone through blurry eyes, and she finally fades off just as her phone dims and finally goes black.

 

-

 

“There’s that smile. Hello, my sweet boy.” Toni coos as she wraps the fluffy white towel around him. “Did that bath make you feel better?”

 

Gavin kicks his legs but doesn’t offer much else, and Toni considers it a win. Her son spent the entire night shifting between sobbing uncontrollably to staring mindlessly up at her in an effort to stay awake. All in all, she barely got more than an hour of sleep so she spent half of her time trying to calm Gavin down while the other half pondered the random text from Cheryl. She tries not to read too much into it, tries not to let that hope plant a seed deep in her chest; she is exactly where she deserves to be, and that’s as far away from Cheryl as she can get.

 

“Mommy made a bit of a mistake.” Toni sighs as she lays Gavin onto his changing pad. “I loved someone so much, little bird. I still love her. But I hurt her. I hurt her so badly, and I don’t have the right to hold onto the chance that we can fix this. We’re over, we had our time...right?”

 

Gavin kicks his legs and stuffs his fist into his mouth, and all Toni can do is smile. Even though there is a darkness that looms over her, Gavin has shone so much light through it. He’s her beacon. Toni swallows hard as she dresses him in his diaper and thinks of how often she pictured moments like this with Cheryl; Cheryl organizing his closet and picking out his clothes, anything to avoid the risk of getting pee on her cashmere. But even now, as Toni closes her eyes and pictures it, the ghost in her mind looks at her with disappointment in her eyes and turns to leave Toni alone in the nursery.

 

A small grunt of a cry breaks through her thoughts, and Toni immediately focuses on dressing Gavin in his comfy sweater and joggers. By the time he is dressed and smelling of fresh lotion, Toni is singing to him and bouncing happily as she walks down the hall towards the kitchen. A chuckle breaks through her playful singing and Toni goes rigid as she looks up and spots Jughead pouring himself a fresh mug of coffee while a ready bottle and a bowl of fruit rest beside him. It’s so _wrong_. Toni swallows down the urge to announce just how she is feeling and instead crosses the room to grab Gavin’s bottle.

 

“Thanks.” Toni mumbles.

 

“Figured he’d be ready to eat after his bath, apparently I was right.” Jughead smiles, and his touch is gentle as he runs his fingers through the wisps of hair on his head. “Look at you, tiger. You’re gonna steal all the hearts in the sandbox.”

 

“Oh yeah, gonna be stealing all the girls’ affections away. I can see it now.” Toni snorts as she sits down to cradle Gavin in the crook of her elbow. “Or is it gonna be boys’ that catch your eye?”

 

“Either way, he’s gonna be a total knockout. Just like his daddy.” Jughead drawls, and Toni laughs softly at the sarcasm in his tone. “I uh cut up some fruits I found in the fridge, it’s not much but I wasn’t sure if you were a big breakfast person.”

 

“Thanks, Jug.” Toni murmurs.

 

Jughead nods slowly as he sips his coffee, “So, I was thinking we could take him to the park. I know he can’t exactly mess around on the monkey bars, but it might be good for him to get some air. If he isn’t cooped up here then he’s trapped in my bat cave for the weekends.”

 

“Alice takes him on walks the days that she has him, and I attend baby yoga classes.” Toni assures him with a roll of her eyes.

 

Jughead sputters on his coffee, “Our son is doing _yoga lessons_?”

 

“It keeps him entertained.” Toni laughs as she flashes him a playful glare. “He has a class this Sunday, you should come with me. I wasn’t crazy about the idea of it, but Alice talked me into it. It’s actually great.”

 

“Am I gonna be the only dad there?” Jughead demands.

 

“No, but you’ll probably be the only one wearing a stupid beanie.” Toni replies, and Jughead simply spits his tongue out at her. “Hey, is that the kind of example you want to be setting for GJ?”

 

“Absolutely.”

 

Toni laughs under her breath and goes back to focusing on Gavin as he feeds. As soon as he’s done, she rests him in his bouncer and turns it on low in an attempt to coax him into an early nap. She knows he’s exhausted, she can tell by how quiet he is; normally, Gavin is lively and will coo for hours at a time. A small smile crosses her face as his expression twists into a yawn before his lashes flutter and his body gives into the exhaustion. As quiet as she can manage, Toni slips from the living room and back into the kitchen where Jughead is leaning lazily back against the counter.

 

“Thanks for letting me crash.” Jughead yawns as he ruffles his messy black locks. “Gotta admit, wasn’t really prepared for GJ’s late night.”

 

“It’s been awhile since he’s done that.” Toni admits as she picks a watermelon slice from the bowl. “He has a schedule that he normally sticks with here, he’s just not feeling well.”

 

“Since when?” Jughead frowns.

 

“Just a few days ago. He’s doing better, a lot less cranky.” Toni assures him as she chews slowly. “I spoke to the doctor and…”

 

Jughead tenses with a mug of warm coffee clutched between his hands, “Wait. Hold on. When did you take Gavin to the doctor?”

 

“He had his shots.” Toni shrugs. “We ran a few errands on Monday morning and then I went in to see Dr. Robbins so she could give GJ his shots. He did _so_ good, even the nurse was…”

 

“You took him to the doctor and you didn’t tell me about it?” Jughead demands, and Toni finally turns to meet his frustrated glare. “You already make me call before I come over, you could at least let me go with you to the doctor.”

 

“It wasn’t a big deal, Jug.” Toni scoffs.

 

“It’s a big deal to me, Toni.” Jughead snaps as he slams his mug down on the counter. “He’s my son too and I want to be there for him.”

 

“Jughead, you told me you were going to be out in the field all day.” Toni reminds him. “He was in good hands, I’ve worked with Dr. Robbins before and she’s absolutely amazing with kids.”

 

Jughead breathes out a bitter laugh, “I don’t care that the doctor was good, I care that you didn’t at least mention this appointment to me.”

 

“I did.” Toni frowns. “I told you a week and a half ago, I said he was having a check up and all you said was okay. Excuse me if I didn’t get the impression that you wanted to tag along.”

 

“You can’t push me out of his life.”

 

“What are talking about?” Toni scowls. “I’m not _pushing_ you out of Gavin’s life, I let you know almost everything I do before I do it.”

 

“Exactly. _Almost._ ” Jughead hisses. “If you would just move in with me…”

 

Toni immediately goes rigid, “You _really_ don’t want to have that argument with me again, Jug. GJ and I are _not_ moving in with you.”

 

“Why?” Jughead demands as he throws his hands up in frustration. “It’d be easier for me to see him, and we wouldn’t have to have arguments like this anymore. We could give our kid a better life if we lived under the same roof.”

 

Toni rolls her eyes, “His life is fine.”

 

“We shouldn’t settle for _fine_ when it concerns our son, Toni.” Jughead grumbles. “We should want better for him, he could have better if you would just let him.”

 

“Don’t you dare.” Toni growls. “I give him the best life I can, you know that. We both give him the best life we can. He doesn’t need us pretending to be something we’re not.”

 

Jughead glares, “You mean a family.”

 

“We are _not_ a family…”

 

“We have a child together.” Jughead points out.

 

“I never wanted a child with you, Jughead. I never wanted this.” Toni sneers as she gestures between their tense frames. “I had everything planned out, and you were _never_ a part of it.”

 

“Yeah, but I am. I’m his father, and I want to be a part of his life. I want to see him for longer than two hours. I want to be a _family_.” Jughead whispers. “I grew up in a broken home, you grew up with parents who drank themselves to death...we can give Gavin what we didn’t have.”

 

Toni immediately shakes her head, “No. Absolutely not. I don’t want to be with you, I don’t want us to be a family. You are his father and I am his mother, but that’s it. I don’t want anymore than that.”

 

Jughead ducks his head, “What are you so afraid of?”

 

“ _Afraid_?” Toni repeats with wide eyes. “I’m not afraid of anything, I just don’t...we aren’t meant for each other. We won’t work. I don’t _love_ you, Jug.”

 

“Because of Cheryl?”

 

“No. Because of me.” Toni replies as she presses a hand to her chest. “Because us sleeping together is the biggest mistake I ever made. I was upset and confused, and you were _there_. You were there and she wasn’t.”

 

“And where is she now, Toni?” Jughead whispers.

 

The words hit her harder than she expects, and it takes her a moment to grasp onto them. To really feel the impact of what he said, of what he means. As much as it pains her to admit, he’s right. Cheryl isn’t here. She doesn’t want to be here. Toni threw their life away and she has no one to blame but herself, she has no right to try to argue with Jughead like Cheryl is waiting on the sidelines for her. It’s just them and Gavin, and that hurts worse than that memory of the door slamming shut behind Cheryl after their break up.

 

“I’m going to go check on GJ.” Toni murmurs as she blinks herself back to reality. “I have to go grocery shopping, you know your way out. Come get him after you get off work on Friday, I have to work a double on Saturday.”

 

“Toni…”

 

Toni brushes past him, “I’ll see you when you drop him off on Sunday.”

  
By the time the front door slams shut behind him, Toni has made her way to her second dresser drawer where a single picture frame rests. Her fingertips brush over the glass as she stares at her own bright smile, sees the stars in her own eyes. Beside her is Cheryl and she looks at Toni with so much love, so much adoration that it sends a harsh pang to her chest. Like a mantra, Toni hears Jughead’s voice hissing the same words _where is she now, where she is now_ and the sobs come harsh and heavy as she slides down to the floor.


	4. you just couldn’t fight for this (but it’s not your fault)

“He’s going to be sitting up before you know it. He’s getting so big.” Betty coos with a pout. “I wish you would’ve brought him.”

 

“He’s with his Uncle Sweets and his cousins, I’m very much enjoying my break.” Toni chuckles as she heaves a breath. “With that being said, I need to get going so I can get him in bed on time.”

 

Veronica breathes out a sigh of relief as she polishes off yet another glass of wine. Much to her reluctance, she arrived home to find Betty and Toni laughing as they made dinner; it took all she had not to kick Toni out. And now she’s sitting here swallowing glass after glass of wine as she tries to drown out the constant chatter of baby talk. If she has to see one more video of pudgy kicking legs or photos of chubby cheeks then she’s going to scream. Once again it dawns on her just how much she loves her wife since she’s sat through this dinner without throwing a fit.

 

“Come on, just one glass…”

 

“No. I’m good.” Toni chuckles as she watches her best friend pout. “I have to go pick up GJ after this, I need to be absolutely sober. Have a glass for me instead, Betts.”

 

“Not the same.” Betty huffs even as she tops off her own wine glass. “I don’t see what _one_ drink is going to do to you.”

 

Veronica snorts into her own wine glass, “The last drink she had ended in her being knocked up by some asshole who sleeps in a beanie.”

 

The silence that falls is awkward, but Veronica simply lifts her wine glass and tilts it towards Toni before she takes a hearty sip. She knows she’s letting the booze get the best of her, but she doesn’t care. All she sees when she looks at Toni is Cheryl’s tear filled eyes and the betrayal that had been written all over her face. Over and over again, she sees the image of her best friend falling to her knees and sobbing as she asked for Veronica to bring Toni back to her, to give her life back. So this? These words? They’re not as bad as the ones she’s been holding onto.

 

“I think that’s my cue…”

 

“No. Wait. V, what the hell?” Betty whispers as she flashes her wife a glare. “I thought we talked about this the other night.”

 

“I’m not five, Betty,” Veronica snorts. “I didn’t even want to have this dinner, you _forced_ me. I’m just glad she didn’t bring the baby, I don’t want to pretend to actually like that…”

 

“If you finish that sentence, I will _kill_ you.” Toni growls as her fists curl. “Be mad at me, Veronica. I deserve it. But don’t you dare bring my son into this, he has nothing to do with it.”

 

“He’s the reason my best friend’s heart is…”

 

“No. _I_ am the reason her heart is broken, Veronica. Me. Not him. He didn’t ask to be born, it’s not his fault.” Toni cuts in. “He’s an innocent infant, and I refuse to sit back and allow someone to speak down on him.”

 

“But…”

 

“Babe,” Betty cuts in, her tone firm. “Don’t.”

 

“I just want you to explain to me _why_ . Why Jughead? Why did you ask Cheryl to raise this baby with you? Why put her in the position you did?” Veronica demands. “It wasn’t fair to her, Toni. It wasn’t fair to _you_.”

 

“I love Cheryl. I love her with every breath I take, but I was pissed and scared.” Toni begins. “Her career was taking off and I was so _happy_ for her, but it started taking up every second of her day and she kept pushing our future aside.”

 

Toni swallows hard as she remembers the nights of laying alone in their big bed. The mornings of silence as she sipped her coffee and waited for a good morning text that never came. She remembers the ache in her bones that night when she and Jughead did shots and fucked in the alleyway of a dingy bar. She remembers how Cheryl walked out on her, slammed the door so hard it knocked pictures off the wall and shattered the remaining pieces of Toni’s heart. No matter what she does, Toni remembers.

 

“I was selfish and stupid, but I wanted her. I wanted _us._ ” Toni frowns. “I thought that we could go back to how things were, before that stupid break and me sleeping with Jughead. But we couldn’t. We didn’t.”

 

Veronica settles for a moment, “Cheryl is broken.”

 

“I know that.” Toni sighs as she cards her fingers through her hair. “But you can’t blame my son for something _I_ did. I wish I could go back in time and erase what I did but I can’t. All I can do is live with it, and try to move on.”

 

“You won’t move on.” Veronica scoffs as she stands to grab the half empty bottle of wine. “But why worry? You and Cheryl are like magnets and you’ll eventually end up colliding again.”

 

Betty cringes as Veronica struts from the room with a slight sway to her steps, “I’m so sorry, T. I didn’t think she’d be like that.”

 

“I don’t blame her. I don’t blame anyone for reacting the way they do.” Toni admits. “I did a horrible thing, and all that’s left to do is accept it and just...let go.”

 

“Toni…”

 

“I need to go get GJ. Thank you so much for dinner, Betts. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Toni whispers as she stands to drop a kiss to Betty’s cheek. “Go easy on her, okay? She’s only looking out for Cheryl’s well-being.”

 

Betty huffs, “Fine.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Toni leaves, and she waits until she is in the safety of her car before she releases a cry of pure anger while her palms slam against her steering wheel. She tells everyone to let it go, to move on, but it seems like she’s the only one who’s stuck.

 

-

 

“Wow. Cheryl, these look _really_ good.” Jason scoffs as he thumbs through her designs. “Tell me why your boss has you chasing down some faux fur story instead of sketching for a new line.”

 

“Because she’s insane.” Cheryl sighs. “Veronica and I just want to go back to safely editing issues and sketching out new ideas.”

 

“I’d definitely prefer you go back to that. How’d mom take that bruise when you FaceTimed last week?” Jason smirks, but Cheryl quickly looks away. “You did FaceTime her, right?”

 

“I’ve been busy.” Cheryl shrugs.

 

“Look, mom doesn’t want all the glorious details about our life, she just wants to know how her grandkids are and if you’re eating.” Jason reminds her. “She’s trying to make up for how shitty our teen years were.”

 

Cheryl breathes out a laugh, “I understand that, but I really am busy. Between this stupid story I’m chasing down and whatever else is going on in my head, I just don’t have time to _chat_.”

 

“You could just admit you’ve been thinking about Toni.” Jason smirks as he takes a small pull of his beer. “You’re my twin, we have matching facial expressions.”

 

“I just...I didn’t expect her to come crashing back into my life. I thought I was over it, over _her_. But she smiles at me and it all comes back. I love her, JJ. I’m so in love with her.”

 

Jason smiles sadly, “I know. Now, what are you going to do about it?”

 

“Stay silent? Hope it goes away?” Cheryl offers with a sheepish shrug.

 

“Chez.” Jason scowls. “Really?”

 

“Jason, she had a child with a man that I absolutely _loathe._ And he’s going to be a part of that child’s life forever. I can’t look at his disgusting face for the rest of my life.” Cheryl hisses. “It’s bad enough I have to work with him.”

 

“Want me to get rid of him?” Jason demands.

 

“We’re not in high school anymore, JJ. You can’t just beat someone up because they’re mean to me. Even if I’d love to see someone shove that stupid beanie down his throat and…”

 

Jason holds up a hand, “So, you know those super cheesy movies that you love? The one where the main character is somewhere talking about the person they’re into and then that person walks in?”

 

“Oh God.” Cheryl whispers. “Toni’s here?”

 

“Uh. No. I was just using that as an example. The person who is actually here is the same one with a beanie you want to burn to pieces.” Jason replies with a frown. “You wanna go?”

 

“No. I won’t let him run me out of my favorite bar. I don’t know he can even afford a place as nice as this.” Cheryl sniffs, and Jason chuckles at the way she sips her martini. “With the way he dresses, I expected Andre to turn him away at the door.”

 

“Looks like he’s here with some investors. Or something equally important.” Jason mumbles as he shifts himself to watch the well dressed group sit down. “Jughead actually does grown up work? He doesn’t just do photoshoots?”

 

“He’s one of our top writers.” Cheryl huffs as she glances over her shoulder. “They’re probably discussing the legal matters of whatever bullshit article he’s planning to release.”

 

Jason narrows his eyes subtly as he stares, “Want me to go wipe that smile off his face? Cause I will. I’ll make a big scene, pretend to be a jaded lover who he left with his debt and his drug dealers chasing after me.”

 

“Oh God, JJ.” Cheryl laughs.

 

The sound is so carefree that it surprises her. It reminds her of when she was happy, when she allowed herself to be happy. Cheryl’s laughter fades to a soft breath as she looks over her shoulder once more and meets Jughead’s gaze. He straightens and tenses as soon as he spots her, and she feels a rush of self satisfaction that she can draw this type of reaction from him. She wants him to be afraid of her, she wants him to feel guilty every time he looks at her.

 

“I think you made him nervous…”

 

“Good.” Cheryl chirps as she turns back to her brother. “That ass doesn’t deserve a second of peace while I’m around.”

 

Jason shrugs in agreement, “I wonder why he did it.”

 

“Why he had sex with my girlfriend?” Cheryl asks, and Jason nods slowly. “Because he thinks that the world revolves around him, and he fed off of the pain she was in.”

 

“You think?”

 

“I know.” Cheryl sighs. “Toni and I were on a break and that night was supposed to be when we were going to talk about _us_. But Veronica and I got called to do an interview with Vera Wang. So, I made the decision to go to Paris instead of staying to fix things with the love of my life.”

 

“Do you blame yourself?”

 

“No. Toni is a grown woman, and she knew what she was doing when she slept with him. But we were on a break.” Cheryl points out. “And when she immediately told me what she did, I forgave her. I was so proud of her for being honest that I didn’t take a moment to realize the severity of the situation.”

 

Jason hums, “And then the baby.”

 

“And then the baby.” Cheryl repeats. “Here she was, glowing and preparing. And there I was, bitter and cursing her. I wanted Toni, but I didn’t sign up to have Jughead too.”

 

“No one faults you for leaving. You made the right decision.” Jason assures her. “It wouldn’t have been fair for you to stay and resent that kid for something he had no part in.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“Here we go.”

 

Cheryl tilts her head as a fresh martini is set in front of her, “I didn’t order this.”

 

“Oh, honey,” The waitress chuckles with a playful roll of her eyes. “You are a stunning woman who has apparently caught the eye of the gentleman in the back.”

 

“Take it back.” Cheryl snaps.

 

“It’s just a drink…”

 

“It’s a drink that I don’t want.” Cheryl growls as she scowls up at the woman. “Take this drink back to him and tell him to fuck off.”

 

The waitress whistles lowly, “Fiesty one.”

 

Cheryl sits in silence as she digs her fingernails into the palms of her hands and stares down at the table. It isn’t till Jason reaches for her that she snaps from her daze and looks up to meet a similar fire in his eyes. He’s asking for permission to step in, he’s begging for her to tag him in to this little match going on. After a moment of consideration, Cheryl gives a small jerk of a nod and her brother is tossing his napkin from his lap and standing quickly.

 

The blood pumps loudly in her ears as her eyes flutter shut and the world slows. She can already hear the commotion from a few feet away, and she slowly peels her eyes open to look over her shoulder. Jason is toe to toe with Jughead and their mouths are moving with words that she can’t hear. She has to give it to her brother, he is damn good at making a scene but somehow he always manages to keep it quiet. After a moment longer, Cheryl dabs at her mouth and rises from her chair to join her brother.

 

“Jason…”

 

“You’re the biggest douche I have ever met. You ruined my sister’s life for a night with _her_ girlfriend. You have ruined her relationship, her job, and her happiness.” Jason snarls. “Anything else you’d like to take from her?”

 

Jughead holds his hands up defensively, “I’d like for this conversation to be over, I’m in the middle of an important deal. Cheryl?”

 

“Don’t even look at her.” Jason hisses as he tilts himself to block Jughead’s view. “I think your investors would like to know what kind of guy their signing with, right?”

 

“Walk away, Jason.” Jughead orders.

 

Jason laughs bitterly, “Don’t tell me what to do.”

 

Cheryl sees the exact moment Jughead missteps as he puts a hand on Jason’s shoulder and gives him a small push. Within the blink of an eye, Jason covers the hand on his shoulder and swings his fist to connect squarely with Jughead’s jaw. The hit is everything Cheryl has been wanting to do since the moment Toni confessed to sleeping with this angst filled man. As he hits the ground and everyone begins to swarm, Jason is quick to wrap a protective arm around Cheryl before he turns her away from the scene of a groaning Jughead and leads her towards the door.

 

“We gotta go!”

 

Cheryl is in a fit of giggles as her brother guides her out of the swanky bar and leads her down the street. By the time they are pressed against the cold brick of a random building, both of them are breathless with laughter and disbelief. Cheryl likes to think luck was on her side tonight, Jughead coming into that bar was a sign and that punch was something that had been building. She’s slightly glad she wasn’t the one who had to throw it, she knows that she can’t afford to mess up her manicure again.

 

“I think I broke his jaw.” Jason laughs.

 

“JJ, you idiot.” Cheryl giggles as she swats at his shoulder. “What is your wife going to say when you come home with busted knuckles?”

 

“She’ll ask who I hit and I’ll explain, and then she’ll kiss me and tell me good job.” Jason shrugs as he shakes his hand out. “I married a saint, Chez.”

 

Cheryl’s smile falters, “Yeah. Lucky you.”

 

“Hey.” Jason sobers as he looks to her with worry in his gaze. “All of this is going to get better, Chez. I don’t know when or _how_ , but it will. I mean, I literally just punched Jughead so at least we’re winning a little.”

 

“Thank you, JJ.”

 

“Anything for you.” Jason smiles as he pulls her close to press a kiss to her hairline. “Come on. Lemme get you a taxi home.”

 

-

 

“Jughead, I don’t know…”

 

“It’s my day with him.” Jughead snaps as he folds his arms over his chest. “I want to spend time with my son.”

 

“He’s running a low fever, I want to keep him here with me.” Toni whispers as she glances to their slumbering son. “You’re more than welcome to stay for a few hours, but I don’t want him out in the cold. I’m sorry.”

 

Jughead flexes his jaw, “Are you punishing me?”

 

“Punishing you?” Toni repeats in a slow tone.

 

“For what I said about Cheryl.” Jughead sighs. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you, Toni. You’re the mother of my child, I will always want you to be happy, but I was being realistic.”

 

“You were being cruel.” Toni corrects.

 

“Toni, I was being honest.” Jughead whines. “You two are going in two different directions, you don’t even speak. Why are you trying to hold out for her? Why is it so important?”

 

“Because I love her.” Toni replies softly. “And if she doesn’t love me back then that’s okay, but I’m not ready to move on. I don’t _want_ to move on. If I fall out of love with her, if I choose to stop waiting around, then it’s going to be on my time.”

 

Jughead throws his arms up, “And until then? You’re going to mope? You’re going to let Jason Blossom punch me in the face?”

 

“What are you talking about?” Toni laughs as she folds one of Gavin’s t-shirts.

 

“I didn’t get this split lip from taking pictures, Toni. I ran into Jason and Cheryl last night so he took it upon himself to hit me.” Jughead huffs. “And then he ran out.”

 

Toni shakes her head, “He wouldn’t…”

 

“Well, he did.” Jughead grumbles. “He ruined a deal I was closing and busted my face. And Cheryl? She just stood by and let it happen.”

 

“Jughead, it was wrong but those two share each other’s pain, he knows what happened between you and I.” Toni sighs. “I can’t really say anything other than that you don’t leave the Blossom twins alone together.”

 

“They _hit_ me. Don’t stand there and basically write it off as them being troublemakers.” Jughead frowns. “How long is it going to take for Cheryl to get over this?”

 

Toni arches an eyebrow as she moves to deal with a fussy Gavin, “I wouldn’t hold your breath on that one. She holds grudges like it’s a profession. I’d just leave it alone.”

 

“Leave it alone?” Jughead mocks. “I’m _trying_ to. I’m trying to better our son’s life, to better our life together and you just keep pushing me away. And then things like _this_ happen.”

 

“I think you’re overreacting.” Toni admits as she sways slowly with her son. “I don’t agree with him hitting you, but there’s nothing that can be done now. Unless you want to press charges, but they won’t stick.”

 

“Yeah? Well, since I’m the one who has to pay for your mistakes, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t defend them.” Jughead snaps. “Get GJ’s diaper bag together, I’m taking him.”

 

Toni furrows her brow, “Excuse me?”

 

“I’m taking my son with me. We’re going to my house.” Jughead replies in a slow, drawn out tone as Toni gaps. “So, get him ready so I can go. I really don’t want to even look at you right now.”

 

Toni scoffs and shakes her head, “No.”

 

“What?”

 

“I said no.” Toni says in a calm voice. “You’re upset and I’m not letting Gavin anywhere near you when you’re like this. So, cool down or get the fuck out of my apartment.”

 

Jughead stares at her for a moment and blows out a long breath, and Toni sees the storm slowly fading in his eyes. With a flex of her jaw, Toni tosses one of Gavin’s shirts down and moves to collect his things together as Jughead bundles their son up. The reluctances is clear in her gaze as she buckled Gavin into his car seat and sees the hazy look to his eyes and the pale complexion of his face. Toni bites her lip as she leans down to press a gentle kiss to her son’s warm forehead before she looks to Jughead.

 

“Bring him back at nine. Check him every fifteen minutes to make sure he hasn’t gotten any warmer. And _please_ don’t over feed him.” Toni begs as she hands him Gavin’s bag. “He’ll be hungry in an hour or so.”

 

Jughead nods, “See you at nine.”

 

Toni waits for Jughead to leave before she pulls her phone from her back pocket and opens a thread that has long gone past dead. Her thumbs click at the screen before she deletes it and typed something different; she does it at least fifteen times, trying to decide what to say. With a sigh, she relents to a simple text only to have a grey bubble pop up and she almost drops her phone out of pure shock.

 

**Cheryl: I can see that you’re texting me…**

 

“Fuck.”

 

**Cheryl: Are you okay?**

 

**Toni: why did Jason hit Jughead?**

 

**Cheryl: …**

 

**Toni: That isn’t an answer, Cheryl.**

 

**Cheryl: I really don’t have to answer you???**

 

**Toni: Cheryl. Please.**

 

The minutes tick by and not a single bubble appears and there’s no bouncing dots to inform her that Cheryl is texting. It’s all just silence, not that she expected any different. She wants to know why though, Jason normally isn’t the violent type. Cheryl is the one who swings first and asks questions later, and her brother is always the one cleaning up her messes. So this? This comes as a confusing situation, and she just wants answers; she knows she doesn’t deserve them, but she wants them.

 

And then she gets it.

 

**Cheryl: Because he’s the reason I don’t have the love of my life anymore. Now, I really have to go. I hope you have a good night, Toni.**

 

Toni allows her head to fall back, “Fuck.”

 

-

 

_“Hi, this is Dr. Elizabeth Cooper. Sorry I can’t…”_

 

Toni shudders out a breath as she ends the call and turns to face the infant squirming in his swaddle of green silk as he cries. For a moment, she nibbles at her nail as she moves to stand over her son; when Jughead dropped him off earlier, his fever had only spiked a little but he had gone down okay. Not even fifteen minutes after she had laid herself in bed, his screams and hoarse sobs began and he hasn’t stopped since. It breaks her heart, and she doesn’t know what to do. Her phone sits a few feet and she runs down the list of people she has called and didn’t get a response from.

 

Betty. Sweet Pea. Fangs. Josie. Alice. Betty. Jughead. Betty. Veronica. Betty.

 

“I know, baby.” Toni whispers as she scoops Gavin into her arms, and the infant immediately curls into her neck. “I’m gonna make it better.”

 

Tears fill her eyes as she crosses the room and shifts Gavin so she can juggle her phone. Her shaking thumb runs through her list of contacts and lingers over a familiar number. She debates for about six seconds, she tries to think of anyone other than the person she is currently thinking of, but no one comes to mind. Toni pleads with herself to think of someone else, _anyone_ else because once she crosses this line then there’s no going back. She pulls her thumb away only to linger once more over the name and when Gavin throws up down her front she finally gives in.

 

_“Hello?”_

 

“Cheryl?” Toni whimpers.

 

_“Toni, what’s going on? What’s wrong?”_

 

“I-It’s GJ. His fever is so high and he just threw up and I can’t g-get a hold of anyone and I need t-to take him to the hospital but I-I can’t drive when I’m like this. I-I have to sit in the back with him.” Toni explains through harsh breaths.

 

_“Okay. It’s okay. I’m on my way. Just give me ten minutes.”_

 

Cheryl whispers to her that everything is going to be okay and Toni tries not to think about how it puts such an instant calm over her. She tries not to think about how such simple words from Cheryl makes everything better, she doesn’t have the right to feel any relief. Toni instead paces through the apartment with her son in her arms, his cheeks are red and his dark eyes are pinched shut as he wails loudly. It seems like forever before she hears frantic knocks on the door and she hurries to open it, and a barely there smile hesitantly pulls at her lips as she’s met with the sight of Cheryl in too short pajama shorts and a band t-shirt that once belonged to her.

 

“Hi. You ready?” Cheryl pants as she leans against the doorway.

 

Toni shakes herself away from admiring Cheryl’s messy hair and scolds herself for not focusing on what really matters. Her hands tighten as she reaches to grab Gavin’s favorite silly blue blanket off the back of the couch while Cheryl snatches up an abandoned teddy bear. The pair swap a soft glance and Toni melts under the way brown eyes stare at her with concern, ask her a thousand questions with one scan; she has missed that look so much, she has longed for it for so long and not that she is faced with it she doesn’t know what to do.

 

“Hey, you gotta relax.” Cheryl soothes.

 

“I can’t. I can’t relax, not when he’s like this.” Toni replies with a shake of her head. “I-I should’ve known something was up when he didn’t eat his dinner, I just figured he ate too much when he was with Jughead.”

 

Cheryl flexes her jaw at the name, “It’s gonna be okay.”

 

The two spill into the parking lot and Toni guides Cheryl to her car before she hands over her keys with quivering hands. She ducks quickly into the backseat and straps Gavin in his little complicated carseat before she places herself next to the sniffling little boy. Cheryl smiles softly at the sight as she closes the door behind them before she moves to climb into the driver’s side. She drives more careful than she ever has and at a speed that seems good enough for the worried mother cooing quietly in the backseat.

 

The hospital lights are so bright and Cheryl blinks as she tries to remind herself that not even an hour ago she had been mid-dream. She parks carefully and barely has time to unbuckle herself before Toni quickly flies out of the car. She simply trails behind her ex because she’s seen the look on her face before; she saw that look the one time she had been hanging Christmas lights on the tree and had fallen off the ladder, it was the same look that bled with worry and determination.

 

The two plow easily into the emergency room and Toni groans as she sees how many people are sat in chairs with various levels of emergencies. Cheryl sighs as she sets a calming hand on Toni’s lower back and guides her forward, she tries to ignore the spark she feels. Cheryl smirks as she approaches to see a familiar face behind the front desk and the woman’s eyes snap up and roll at the sight of the two of them; Ruth Davis knows this couple far too well, they’re quite prone to accidents.

 

“Ms. Blossom, Ms. Topaz.” Ruth greets with a small laugh. “It’s been a while.”

 

“My son.” Toni breathes out. “My son is sick.”

 

“Oh Heavens. You two added a baby to your crazy family?” Ruth scoffs as she quickly begins to pull out the paperwork the pair needs. “Something tells me that I’m going to be seeing a whole lot more of the two of you.”

 

“It’s not my kid.” Cheryl snaps.

 

The tension that fills the moment causes Toni to swallow hard as she tightens her grip on Gavin while Ruth lifts an eyebrow and slides a clipboard her way. Cheryl hates the way Toni glances to her, looks to her for answers and the way Cheryl just bends under those brown eyes she still loves so much. She snatches the clipboard and a pen and follows Toni to the seats while Gavin whimpers in her arms and burrows further into her neck. They both look so sad and scared, and Cheryl suddenly understands that these two have her wrapped tightly around their fingers and have no idea.

 

Cheryl scratches in the information quickly, answers questions she should’ve long forgotten while her jaw works and Gavin sobs in his mother’s arms. It takes her all of five minutes to finish and Toni furrows her brow in surprise when Cheryl stands from the chair and marches over to slam the clipboard down on the counter in front of Ruth. She’s too far away to hear what her ex is saying, but she can see the way Cheryl subtly slides something in front of herself while Ruth smirks in amusement.

 

“What was that about?” Toni demands as Cheryl walks back to her.

 

“Ruth says she’s going to grab Gavin a doctor, she’ll be back in any second.” Cheryl whispers as she drops into the seat beside Toni and anxiously fiddles with her phone. “I’ll just wait for you guys and drive you home.”

 

Toni nods as a nurse calls for her, “You don’t want to come back?”

 

“No.” Cheryl mutters as she glances up Toni.

 

Toni only lingers for a moment before she turns to hurry after the nurse and Cheryl watches her go with a sad frown. Those feelings, the same ones she felt the moment she saw Toni and Gavin, come rushing back as she ducks her head and sighs. She hates that Toni still holds every piece of her heart, she wishes she could just let her go. She’s not sure how long she sits there, she watches a little girl come in with a broken arm and she scowls as she wonders why the kid was even up at an hour like this. She allows the thought to lull her to sleep as her head falls back and she drifts off until she feels a hand tap her thigh.

 

“Mm?” Cheryl mutters with her eyes still closed.

 

“Hey, wake up.” A soft voice orders as a hand brushes over her face and sweeps a strand of hair behind her ear. “Come on, I’ll drive you back to the apartment.”

 

Cheryl frowns as her eyes open slowly, “TT?”

 

“Yeah.” Toni chuckles. “You ready?”

 

“Wait. Gavin?” Cheryl demands as she sits up with tired eyes. “Is he okay?”

 

“He’s fine. Just a really rough reaction to something he must have got at daycare.” Toni replies as she looks to the baby in her arms while Cheryl struggles to wake up. “The doctor told me to give him some Motrin and he should be fine within the next few days.”

 

“Motrin?” Cheryl repeats as she stands and scratches her stomach. “Do you have that?”

 

“I do.” Toni nods.

 

Cheryl simply gives a sleepy nod before she follows Toni out of the hospital and watches as the woman busies herself with Gavin as she buckles him into his carseat. She looks so content, at ease as she wipes a tear track from the infant’s face and curls his blankets tighter around his form. Cheryl doesn’t look away until Toni kisses his head, slides from the car, and closes the door softly behind herself. A hand reaches out towards her and Cheryl frowns as she watches fingers wiggle while brown eyes snap to stare at the keys that dangle from her grasp but Cheryl simply tightens her hand.

 

“No. I’ll drive.”

 

“You can barely keep your eyes open, ba...Cheryl.” Toni whispers before she steps forward to grab them. “Get in. I’ll make you some coffee when we get back to my apartment, okay?”

 

Cheryl wants to protest, and she opens her mouth to, but all that comes out is a sigh as she finally gives in. Like she _always_ gives in. No matter what, she is helpless for the woman in front of her. The ride is quiet and Cheryl takes the time to stare out the window and replay her entire night; her boring night full of bad overly romantic films had become a frantic evening full of the woman she loves. By the time they make it back to Toni’s, the woman is wincing as she rubs tiredly at her brow and unclips Gavin from the safety seat.

 

Cheryl easily takes her keys away from Toni and the woman simply rolls her eyes and follows behind. The apartment seems bigger once they step inside and Toni is quick to cuddle Gavin closer to her as she kisses his soft tufts of hair. With a soft sigh, she scurries off to the nursery and speaks quietly to Gavin. It’s an airplane theme, that’s the first thing Cheryl notices when she follows close behind. It’s perfect and well put together, it’s everything Toni has talked about; all the things she missed.

 

“I need to go get some Aleve because my head is pounding.” Toni sighs as she finishes changing her son’s clothes before she lifts him into her arms. “For some reason, listening to crying all night is causing my temples to feel like they’re going to explode.”

 

“Okay. I’ll um I’ll take him…” Cheryl offers.

 

Toni arches her eyebrow slowly, “Are you sure?”

 

Cheryl rolls her eyes before she steps forward and takes the whimpering baby in her arms and smiles down at Gavin who coos and squirms in her arms. Toni lingers in the room for only a moment before she slips off to find a source of relief. The small infant whimpers softly as he fusses in Cheryl’s arm while the woman hushes him with soft hums and gentle words of love. Soon beautiful brown eyes disappear behind thick lashes and a head lulls as the child falls asleep in her arms.

 

“You look just like your mommy.” Cheryl whispers with a sad smile. “I always pictured this moment, but never like this. It was never supposed to happen like this. You can understand that, right?”

 

Cheryl stays in that room and rocks Gavin back and forth, stares down at him with wonder in her gaze as she thinks back to when she had decided to walk away from the chance of moments like these. She unconsciously begins to talk about her upcoming article, and she smiles as his lips emack as if to tell her to quiet down. She can’t help but pretend for a moment that she never walked away, that the little boy in her arms is something that she and Toni had dreamed about together. It brings a bitter smile to her face as Gavin presses his nose to Cheryl’s chest and huffs softly as he smacks his lips.

 

“GJ?”

 

“Shh, TT.” Cheryl hisses as she quickly turns to face Toni. “You’ll wake him.”

 

Toni freezes as she takes in the beautiful sight of Cheryl as she stands in the middle of Gavin’s bedroom with the little slumbering boy in her arms. His peaceful form presses close to Cheryl’s chest and Toni knows her eyes scream with adoration. Toni swallows hard as she remembers the countless dreams she’s had of this moments, she feels her heart thump heavily against her chest as recalls all the times she has made wishes about this.

 

“How did you manage that?” Toni scoffs.

 

“I think he was just tired. Poor kid.” Cheryl sighs as she sways with Gavin, her eyes never leave his tiny face. “I kinda talked to him and told him about my article. I think he got sick of listening to me talk so he decided to just pass out.”

 

“Likely story.” Toni smirks.

 

Toni lingers before she crosses the room to take Gavin from Cheryl, their eyes meet and she suddenly realizes there’s only inches between them. She feels her heart race as Cheryl smiles and bites her lower lip. She considers capturing that smile with her lips but instead she stumbles back and curls Gavin to rest comfortably against her chest. Cheryl steps back and Toni can see the way she vanishes into herself as she ducks her head.

 

“Thank you.” Toni whispers.

 

“I should probably getting going. You two need to get some rest.” Cheryl sighs as she bites her lip. “Rain check on the coffee?”

 

Cheryl gives her a look that Toni hasn’t seen in ages and it warms her heart in so many ways. It’s the same way Cheryl used to look at her before she left for work in the mornings and Toni would have a travel mug full of coffee and a warmed bagel waiting for her. It was the same look that let Toni know she was loved. She listens and waits for the sound of the front door to shut before she rests Gavin in his bed and playfully glares down at him.

 

“Now, why did you have to go and do something like that?” Toni grins.

 

Gavin shifts in his sleep and Toni falls just a little bit more in love with him.


	5. i’m holding onto the good we had

Cheryl isn’t sure what she’s doing.

 

She is standing outside of Toni’s apartment with a fruit basket. A fucking _fruit basket._  The nerves curl deep in her chest as she raises her shaking hand finally knocks against the door. She should run away, run _far_ away, but she doesn’t. Because she’s been running away from Toni for too long, she’s been running away from facing this for too long. She isn’t sure forgiveness is what she’d use to describe the feeling in her chest, but it’s the start of something. Maybe. She hopes.

 

The door swings open and Cheryl smiles softly. Toni stands in front of her with an adorably confused frown on her face, and it makes her heart flutter. It makes all those feelings rush deep within in her and flow through her veins, and it makes her remember that she will never truly be over this woman. Her mouth opens as she searches for something intelligent to say, but all that slips out is a soft greeting.

 

“Hi.” Toni whispers.

 

“So, I brought you a fruit basket.” Cheryl offers as she thrusts it forward. “I don’t know _why_ I did, but I know you like chocolate covered fruit and I assume you’ve had a rough night so…”

 

“Cheryl,” Toni cuts in as she steps aside and tilts her head. “Would you like to come in?”

 

“I would...yes, I would.” Cheryl nods as she hesitatingly steps into the apartment. “I hope I didn’t interrupt you.”

 

“You didn’t. I just gave GJ his medicine and he’s sitting in his bouncer, I’m hoping I can coax him into an early nap.” Toni shrugs. “Meanwhile I am watching Maury.”

 

Cheryl begins to soften, “You and that damn show.”

 

“It gets my blood pumping.” Toni argues with a playful wink. “And I like to see which daddies I can pair with the correct babies.”

 

“Still a dork.” Cheryl sighs.

 

“And proud of it.” Toni teases before she holds her arms out and wiggles her fingers. “Now, lemme see what kind of goodies you got me.”

 

“Ah, all your favorites.” Cheryl chirps as she allows Toni to take the basket. “Strawberries with white and milk chocolate, raisins in white, and apples in dark chocolate.”

 

“Shouldn’t I be the one buying the fruit basket? You woke up in the middle of the night to take my son and I to the ER.” Toni scoffs as she slowly unties the bright pink bow. “I can’t thank you enough.”

 

Cheryl blows out a strong breath, “You needed me. I’ll always be here when you need me. You know that.”

 

“I don’t deserve that after what I…”

 

“Let’s not talk about that.” Cheryl jumps in with a furrow of her brow. “Let’s just pretend for a few minutes that things aren’t completely fucked up and everything is normal.”

 

Toni licks her lips nervously, “I just don’t think it’s that easy, Cheryl.”

 

“Toni.” Cheryl murmurs. “Please.”

 

Toni stares for a moment, “Okay.”

 

“I agree that we should talk about it, but not right now. Not today.” Cheryl explains with desperation in her tone. “I don’t mean to just brush it off like that and I know there’s so much to say…”

 

“I can wait.” Toni assures her. “I _will_ wait. Forever, if that’s what you asked of me. But you’re probably right, we should wait until we have some wine and a sick baby isn’t nearby.”

 

Cheryl laughs softly, “Probably.”

 

“Well, I don’t think I’m going to be able to eat all of this by myself and I owe you a cup of coffee...so, would you like to stay?” Toni asks. “You don’t have to, no pressure.”

 

Cheryl considers it for a moment and her heart skips a beat as she sees the looseness to Toni’s smile, the way her body seems so relaxed. And it takes her a moment to realize that she’s just as relaxed, just as comfortable. Because that’s what Toni does to her, she breaks down her walls and builds homes in all the places she can find. With a soft bite of her lip, Cheryl nods and Toni brightens as she shuffles to the kitchen to start up a fresh cup of coffee.

 

“This thing has been a life saver.” Toni murmurs as she starts the Keurig. “When I’m late for my shift or Gavin wants to be held, all I have to do is press a button and my coffee is made.”

 

“Veronica bought me one a few months ago, it’s still in its package.” Cheryl admits as she slowly walks into the kitchen. “I haven’t really had the chance to be home to enjoy it.”

 

Toni hums, “Still constantly on the go?”

 

“Kind of. Veronica and I are chasing down a story right now, much to our reluctance.” Cheryl sighs with a roll of her eyes. “But we’ve been sketching up some stuff for a new line.”

 

“Oh yeah? What’s the theme?”

 

“Sports. Ronnie and I had gone on a hike and we were like suffocating in our sports bras and jackets so we’re working on something that gives your body more abilities to breathe.” Cheryl grins. “It’s exciting.”

 

“It definitely sounds like you’re onto something. I know I could use something lighter for when I’m sweating off my baby weight at the gym.” Toni teases as she turns with a warm mug.

 

Cheryl narrows her eyes as she takes the perfectly made coffee, “What baby weight? Toni, you look absolutely beautiful.”

 

The moment turns heavy as Toni looks to her with that familiar smile, the one that screams love and a chance of always. She wants to drop her mug and cross the room, she wants to pull Toni into her arms and swear to never let go. She wants to breathe a million promises into Toni’s lungs as she kisses her. She wants to hold her. But she doesn’t, instead she ducks her head and focuses on blowing the steam away from her coffee. She doesn’t because right now isn’t their moment, it isn’t their time. And right now, Gavin is squeaking and Toni looks away from her quickly.

 

“I thought he’d sleep.” Toni sighs with an apologetic frown. “I think I’m gonna have to set him up in the bouncer in the living room. Is that going to be okay?”

 

Cheryl swallows her coffee, “Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be okay?”

 

“I just...I want you to be comfortable. You deserve to be comfortable.” Toni replies as she nervously pushes away from the counter. “I’m gonna go grab GJ, I’ll be right back.”

 

Toni walks away and Cheryl takes the empty moment in as she looks around the perfectly put together apartment. It surprises her, she used to have to constantly pick up after Toni; she supposes motherhood changes things like that, you have to be organized when you’re a parent. A small smile plays at her lips as she sees the photos that are stuck to the fridge, most of them featuring Gavin in various outfits. A few of them are of Sweet Pea and Fangs, and there are a couple of Betty but then she sees a picture of Toni lying in a hospital bed with arms full of a newborn baby while Jughead stands beside her. And on Jughead’s face, a large magnet is stuck.

 

“I think someone knew that mommy had company so he decided he wanted to join.” Toni hums, and Cheryl jumps and turns quickly. “I see you’ve found my little shrine.”

 

“I remember when most of these pictures were taken.” Cheryl admits as she nods to one of her and Toni at a campfire. “I remember that night particularly well, you fell into the lake.”

 

“That’s what I get for thinking it would be a good idea to take you on a romantic boat ride in the middle of the night.” Toni scoffs. “Gav, I have a confession, I’m not cool.”

 

Cheryl laughs as she joins the pair, “You are too cool. Just...a spaz.”

 

“I’ll take it.” Toni shrugs, and her attention falls to Gavin as she rebuckles him into his bouncer. “Are you better now?”

 

Gavin begins to cry immediately and Cheryl feels her heart break at the pout on his face, he looks absolutely devastated. But before a tear can actually fall, Toni sweeps him into her arms and presses soft kisses to his head until he calms. It’s such a picture perfect moment, they’re so beautiful. Cheryl sips her coffee and climbs onto the couch as Toni whispers quietly to Gavin and eventually joins her. They curl on opposite sides of the couch, the distance obvious between them, and trade small talk as Maury starts up and Toni begins her commentary.

 

“Oh my God.” Toni groans as she shifts Gavin in her lap. “Little bird, this is embarrassing to watch. The child is _identical_ to him.”

 

Cheryl smiles fondly, “Does he often chime in with his own responses?”

 

“You’d be surprised. He likes to coo.” Toni smiles as she playfully bounces Gavin. “He lays on his mat and just jabbers on about everything. We talk about the weather a lot.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“We sometimes get into arguments about which Power Ranger is cooler.” Toni nods, and Cheryl bites her lip to hide her laugh. “He is insistent that Kimberly is the best, but I’m slowly convincing him Trini is better.”

 

“We all know Billy is clearly the best.” Cheryl mumbles into her coffee mug.

 

Toni sneers in response, “No.”

 

“What do you think, Gavin?” Cheryl asks, and the baby gives a coo and smile. “Well, that was the only vote that counts.”

 

“Wow. You just tossed me aside just to agree with a pretty girl? I’m hurt.” Toni whines, and Gavin sleepily kicks his legs. “I think all our talking might be winding him down.”

 

“Amateur.”

 

Toni giggles as she stands to once again place Gavin in the safety of his little cradle seat, and his eyes flutter as she sets it to low. The soft sound of lullabies come from the machine and Cheryl watches in awe as the little boy drifts off halfway into Mary Had a Little Lamb. Toni smiles adoringly down at him before a quick knock sounds, and she turns to shoot a quick frown at her door. She lingers for a moment and Cheryl straightens on the couch as the knocking grows desperate. With a curse, Toni sets off to swing the door open and Cheryl immediately sees her shoulders tense.

 

“Jughead? What are you doing here?”

 

Jughead shoves his way into the apartment with a look of frustration, “I got your texts. Is he okay? Where is he?”

 

“He’s fine. He’s sleeping.” Toni replies as she slams a hand against his chest to keep him from moving. “I didn’t invite you in.”

 

Jughead shoves her hand away, “You didn’t call me.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Toni scoffs.

 

Cheryl stands from the couch and clears her throat, and she sees Jughead’s eyes go ablaze as he finally spots her. Immediately, Cheryl feels her hackles rise at the way he looms over Toni and his hands slowly curl into fists. She sees him putting the pieces together, and it has her setting her coffee mug aside and crossing the room to stand protectively behind Toni. She _refuses_ to let him touch Toni or upset her.

 

“You called her, didn’t you?” Jughead spits.

 

Toni furrows her brow, “I called _everyone._ She was the only one who actually picked up. So, you can take a breath and calm down.”

 

“Was she with you at the hospital?” Jughead demands. “Was she near my son?”

 

 _“Your_ son?” Toni repeats. “Excuse me, but I definitely remember pushing that little boy out of _my_ vagina so I believe that makes him _our_ son. Watch your fucking mouth.”

 

Jughead growls lowly, “You should’ve called me.”

 

“I did!”

 

“Twice, Toni. That’s it.” Jughead sneers. “And I’m pretty sure you only did that for show. You wanted her with you, didn’t you?”

 

“You are seriously driving me insane with all this jealousy bullshit.” Toni sighs as she rubs tiredly at her brow. “I’ve been up with Gavin almost all night, I’m too tired for this.”

 

“No. We’re talking about this.” Jughead snaps as he reaches out to grab her arm.

 

“Back the hell up.” Cheryl orders as she moves between them with ease. “I don’t care how upset you are, you don’t lay a hand on her.”

 

“This has nothing to do with you…”

 

“I’m _making_ it about me.” Cheryl hisses. “And let’s be honest, it’s always been about me. You’re so obsessed with proving to Toni that I’m over her and that you’re Mr. Perfect, but you’re not. You are so far from it, and she knows it.”

 

“Yeah? Well, who gave her a kid?”

 

“And who’s about to give you a black eye?”

 

“That’s enough.” Toni snaps as she looks between them. “Gavin literally just fell asleep and I’m going to be pissed if he wakes up. You need to go.”

 

Jughead is smug for all of two seconds as he realizes that Toni is glaring at him, “I’m not going anywhere. That’s my son…”

 

“And he’s asleep. He’s fine. It isn’t even your day with him.” Toni jumps in. “It’s a bit of a bug, the doctor said he needs rest and fluids and he’ll be back to his normal self by the end of the week. But what he doesn’t need is you busting in here trying to start a pissing contest.”

 

“This is fucking ridiculous.” Jughead snarls.

 

“I will text you if I need you, Jug.” Toni sighs, and the man turns on his heels with a huff. “It’s seriously like dealing with a child.”

 

“Does he do that a lot?” Cheryl asks as she watches Toni lock the door. “Just barge into your apartment and talk to you like that?”

 

“At first, when GJ was still a newborn, he’d call and be respectful to the fact that I didn’t want him around all the time.” Toni frowns. “But every day he gets a little worse, a little bit more forceful.”

 

“If he ever touches you…”

 

“I’ll lay him flat on his ass.” Toni sneers. “He doesn’t scare me, he’s a twig. I just pray my son doesn’t inherit his lanky form.”

 

“You should be praying that he doesn’t inherit your height.” Cheryl teases, and a soft laugh leaves her when Toni nudges her playfully. “I’m serious though, if he ever touches you then you better call me. I’ll have Jason bury him with legal action.”

 

“I can take care of myself.” Toni assures her.

 

Cheryl is gentle as she reaches out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Toni’s ear, “I know you can. Believe me, I’ve witnessed it firsthand.”

 

“Are you talking about that night at the bar? That guy deserved to be punched.” Toni huffs even as she subtly leans into Cheryl’s touch. “He learned his lesson about what happens when you lay a hand on my girl.”

 

“Yes, because breaking his arm was such a wonderful lesson to teach.” Cheryl giggles as she finally drops her hand. “And the same can go for Jughead, if he lays a hand on my girl then all bets are off.”

 

Toni’s breath hitches and Cheryl smiles softly, and their moment is quickly shattered by Gavin’s sudden wail. As Toni walks away to take care of her son, Cheryl unlocks the door and slides quietly from the apartment; she’s said what she needed to for now, and she plans to leave it at that.

 

-

 

“Mm, hi.”

 

Veronica smiles as arms curl around her waist snugly, “Hi, baby.”

 

“I’m sorry I’m home so late, work was ridiculous. We had so many broken bones this morning. It was pretty crazy.” Betty sighs as she reaches around her wife to grab a carrot stick. “How was your morning off?”

 

“Boring. But productive.” Veronica replies as she continues chopping the vegetables. “Cheryl and I finally finished our last few sketches last night to hand over to a designer and we’re wrapping up the article about the fur scandal.”

 

“Good. I’m going to feel a thousand times better knowing you’re as far away from that article as possible.” Betty admits as she drops a quick kiss to Veronica’s shoulder. “There’s only so many times my heart can take seeing you walk into the emergency room.”

 

“Well, sometimes I just need an excuse to see you. Even if it is to patch me up.” Veronica smirks as she sets her knife aside. “In fact, I was thinking we should spend more time together.”

 

“Oh? And why is that?” Betty smiles.

 

Veronica turns to string her arms around her wife’s neck, “Well, I know the first round didn’t work for me, but I think we should try again. Look at other potential donors and argue _again_ over who’s going to have to deal with being pregnant.”

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“I told you I was ready. We jumped into it so quickly with the first IVF, but we can go slower this time.” Veronica reminds her with a playful roll of her eyes. “I’m ready to raise a baby with you, Elizabeth Cooper.”

 

Betty beams excitedly, “And I’m ready to raise a baby with _you,_ Veronica Cooper.”

 

“Then we should probably hurry up and get you pregnant.” Veronica grins. “I don’t want this baby excitement to fade away.”

 

“Oh no. I am _so_ not carrying the baby.” Betty scoffs as she draws away from her wife. “I had to watch Toni go through all those lovely body changes and mood swings. And when she finally gave birth? Yeah, no. Not happening.”

 

Veronica rolls her eyes, “Every pregnancy is different.”

 

“I’m not risking it.” Betty shrugs.

 

“You know, not everything we talk about has to go back to Toni.” Veronica mumbles as she turns back to the chopping block. “I think it’d be nice to have a conversation that doesn’t involve a Toni said this or Toni did that.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Betty scowls.

 

“Your best friend is the center of your attention as of lately.” Veronica shrugs. “I mean, I thought it was cute how close you were when we first started dating but I thought it’d at least change once I put a ring on your finger.”

 

Betty heaves a breath, “I’m tired of this.”

 

“I’m just saying…”

 

“No. I’m tired of you _constantly_ putting her down. You made her so uncomfortable at our last dinner, it was embarrassing.” Betty snaps. “She made a mistake, and she’s living with it. Can’t that be enough?”

 

“Cheryl doesn’t have a Gavin though, she gained nothing but loneliness from their breakup. So, no her living with it isn’t _enough.”_ Veronica hisses as she turns back to her wife.

 

“You act like my friendship with Toni is somehow more unhealthy than your obsession with Cheryl’s happiness.” Betty sneers. “You are so worried about her being happy that it sometimes seems like she comes before me.”

 

“She’s _family_ , Betty. Her brother is married to your sister. She should be the one you’re defending, not Toni.” Veronica scoffs. “Toni doesn’t deserve to have you on her side every time.”

 

“Toni’s been by my side since we were two. She’s my best friend.” Betty points out, and her tone is too calm. “We have seen each other through way too much for me to turn my back on her now. She needs me.”

 

“She doesn’t need you, Betty!”

 

Betty shakes her head, “I’m not having this argument with you. I’m not going to defend my friendship with Toni.”

 

“You’ve been defending it since the day we got together so why stop now.” Veronica drawls, and she sees her wife immediately rise to attention. “I always thought that someday I’d come before her, but I won’t. I never will.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Betty demands. “I have _always_ put you first, and I always will. You’re my wife and I am head over heels in love with you. Toni knows that, she respects it. So, why can’t you respect our friendship?”

 

Veronica sputters for an answer, “Because she cheated on _my_ best friend.”

 

“Oh my God. It’s like a never ending circle. That’s all you have on her.” Betty points out as she rubs tiredly at her brow. “I don’t want to fight with you, V. Not about this, not again.”

 

“But _I_ want to fight about it so we’re going to. I have things I need to say.” Veronica scoffs. “Our lives are about to change and there are things that need to be discussed.”

 

Betty groans, “Like what?”

 

“Like how I won’t allow our child to be around that woman.” Veronica declares as she crosses her arms over her chest.

 

“That woman is my best friend, and our child _will_ know her.” Betty whispers. “She has been by my side through _everything,_ through things that you don’t even know about. Why should I turn my back on her now?”

 

“Because…”

 

“If you mention Cheryl one more time then I’m going to walk out the front door.” Betty warns. “I am so tired of fighting about this, it doesn’t even have to do with us.”

 

Veronica huffs, “It does when we’re married yet we’re both standing on opposite sides of a line that has been clearly drawn.”

 

“Do you hear yourself? You’re acting like a brat right now, Veronica!” Betty exclaims. “This conversation is over. Got it?”

 

“No!”

 

“If you want to fight some more then come back in a few days when you’ve cooled off and I’ve gotten some sleep.” Betty orders. “I’m sure Cheryl has room for you at her place.”

 

Veronica pauses, “Are you...kicking me out?”

 

“No, V,” Betty sighs, and her entire body goes soft as she regards her wife. “But I’m _tired_ and I don’t have any fight left in me so I just need space. Just for a few days.”

 

“Wait, no. I don’t want to go.” Veronica whimpers as her eyes well with tears. “I promise we don’t have to talk about it anymore.”

 

Betty crosses the room to press her lips against Veronica’s hairline, “Either you go or I do, we need some time apart.”

 

“B, please…”

 

“Just a few days.” Betty whispers as she drops one last firm kiss to Veronica’s forehead. “I love you, V.”

 

Betty walks away with exhaustion in her eyes and Veronica stands staring at the spot her wife once stood wondering how they got here in the first place.

 

-

 

“Here’s to a kiddo free afternoon.” Sweet Pea smirks as he lifts his beer. “May the people watching our spawns have all the luck in the world.”

 

Fangs laughs as he knocks his bottle against his best friend’s, “I’m not worried about Kaden and Joseph acting up for Kevin, they know better. Papa is the nice one and daddy is the scary one.”

 

“Gavin is with his father.” Toni scrunches her nose slightly at the words. “So, I’m not having heart palpitations. As much as I despise Jughead sometimes, he loves GJ.”

 

“I hate that guy.” Sweet Pea snorts as he takes a draw of his beer. “If Raven wouldn’t have made me promise to stop fighting after Kaylee was born then I would’ve kicked his ass.”

 

“Yeah, Kevin has had me on a tight leash since we got Kaden. Reminds me of how he got when Joseph came home.” Fangs sighs. “When did we become so whipped, dude?”

 

“Probably right around the time that we all fell in love and decided to have little brats.” Sweet Pea chuckles. “Can you believe we actually have kids? After all we’ve done?”

 

Toni nods in agreement, “It’s insane that we were actually given this amazing opportunity to raise these innocent little souls after all the horrible shit we pulled in high school.”

 

“I love Raven with everything I have, but Kaylee is what made me calm down.” Sweet Pea admits. “I knew from the second that I held her that I had to get my shit together, I couldn’t keep fucking around the way I was.”

 

“I always just figured Kevin and I would spend our lives together. Just us. Maybe traveling the world, doing insane things.” Fangs smiles. “But when Joey came home, I realized that raising my boy was what we were meant to do.”

 

“It’s so weird because I felt the exact same way when I held Gavin for the first time.” Toni whispers as she fiddles with the label on her beer. “I looked into his eyes and I changed. He needs me, and I’ll be damned if I’m not there for him.”

 

“I just wish half of his DNA wasn’t shared with that asshole.” Sweet Pea sneers. “You really fucked up on that one, Tiny.”

 

Toni smiles bitterly, “I know. Is it sick that sometimes I pretend that he’s Cheryl’s? I just like to pretend I didn’t completely blow up my entire world and ruin the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

 

“Sick? No. Pathetic? Most definitely.” Fangs shrugs. “You gotta let it go, Tiny. I know you love her and you want her back, but I don’t see that happening. You two are living two very different lives now.”

 

“He’s right.” Sweet Pea mumbles. “Even if you got back together, she’d still be flying off all the time. And this time she won’t just be disappointing you, she’ll be disappointing GJ.”

 

Toni flexes her jaw, “I will _never_ allow someone to disappoint my son.”

 

“Then stop chasing her, T. Let it go.” Sweet Pea orders in a stern tone. “Focus on your kid, enjoy your time with him. He’s growing like a weed, you’re gonna miss the best parts if you’re too busy obsessing over what could’ve been.”

 

“Not could’ve. _Should’ve._ ” Toni corrects as she swallows a harsh mouthful of beer. “You guys are right though, I need to focus on Gavin.”

 

“He’s gonna be sitting up soon, and after that comes the crawling.” Sweet Pea warns. “I wanted to rip my hair out when Kaylee starting crawling, she got in to _everything_.”

 

“I lost Joseph one time when he crawled away from me at a store.” Fangs admits, and he laughs at the wide eyes he receives. “I was trying on shoes so I set him down, and he just crawled away and some lady started shouting and asking whose baby this was.”

 

“Raven would _murder_ me if I allowed Kaylee to be out of my sight.” Sweet Pea scoffs. “How are you still alive? I mean, Raven is bad but Kevin is the ultimate papa bear.”

 

“I didn’t tell him.” Fangs shrugs.

 

Toni and Sweet Pea swap smirks, “Blackmail.”

 

“What? No. You guys suck. That isn’t even blackmail, that’s ensuring my death.” Fangs whines with a pout.

 

“It could come in handy.” Toni sings. “Just like I could tell Raven that Sweet Pea let Kaylee roll off the couch and that’s why she has that scar under her chin. I have _all_ the details.”

 

“You are one sick, tiny individual.” Fangs huffs.

 

Sweet Pea nods in agreement, “She’s always been the best at the whole blackmail thing. Don’t you remember the shit she had on us for the entirely of our senior year?”

 

“Oh God.” Fangs flushes. “That was rough.”

 

“That was _hilarious_.” Toni giggles. “I could’ve rocked your entire shit if I wanted to, you’re lucky I was feeling nice.”

 

Sweet Pea leans against the railing of the porch as he smirks, “You know, I was supposed to talk to you about this chick Raven works with but you’re kinda being a little shit so I don’t know.”

 

“You really trying to set Tiny up?” Fangs scoffs as he mocks Sweet Pea’s stance. “You really think she’d even go for it?”

 

“Oh, definitely. Quinn is hot.”

 

“I’m good.” Toni sighs as she shoves between them and leans her elbows on the wood of the porch railing. “I’m not into blind dates, and I don’t need you guys trying to set me up.”

 

“It’s just a date…”

 

“It wouldn’t be fair to the girl or guy you’re trying to set me up with, my heart wouldn’t be in it.” Toni points out. “And my head definitely wouldn’t.”

 

“Toni, maybe it would be a good idea.” Fangs begins in a hesitant tone. “Dating. Meeting new people. Getting out of the house.”

 

“I’m good.” Toni chuckles.

 

Sweet Pea groans, “We just talked about this, Tiny! You need to let her go, move on. Meeting other people will be good for you.”

 

“No.” Toni frowns. “It won’t.”

 

Fangs tilts his head, “Why? Why does she have such a hold on you?”

 

“She feels like home.” Toni whispers as she stares off into the softness of the afternoon. “I’ll choose her. Always. I’m not ready for anything else.”

 

“You sure?” Sweet Pea asks in a soft tone.

 

“I’m positive.” Toni nods.

 

Sweet Pea nudges her, “Alright. We’ll leave it alone then. Can I at least get you another beer so you can chill out?”

 

“Yeah.” Toni snorts. “You definitely can.”

 

-

 

“Aunt Chezza!”

 

Cheryl lights up as she sees a sweet smile appear from the open door of a taxi before a lanky form is hurrying to her. A soft laugh leaves her as she catches her niece in a strong hug, and she marvels how fast she’s growing. No longer is Juniper baby faced with shy eyes, she has become a confident teen with striking features and a beautiful smile. And Dagwood? Her little nephew struts towards her and she blinks in shock that he’s so close in height that she almost has to lift her head to meet his gaze.

 

“Hey, Aunt Chez.” Dag greets as he squeezes both his sister and aunt. “Thanks for convincing dad to let us come alone, he talks _way_ too much about the dangers of the subway.”

 

“He’s your father, he’s allowed to worry.” Cheryl reminds him. “I went ahead and got us a table outside, figured we could all do with a little fresh air on this beautiful day.”

 

Dag smirks, “You’re in a good mood.”

 

“Am I not supposed to be?” Cheryl teases as she leads the twins to their waiting table. “I get to have brunch with my charming niece and nephew, that makes for a good day.”

 

“I’m surprised you could even manage to get a day off.” Juni confesses. “You’re always so busy flying off to the coolest places.”

 

“My traveling has calmed down quite a bit. I’m home more now, I’m just trapped in the office working on an article.” Cheryl replies. “And I’m starting a new line.”

 

Juni brightens, “What are you and Auntie Ronnie doing?”

 

“This is actually going to be my first solo line. It’s kind of top secret.” Cheryl admits, and she’s pleased with how the twins smile. “I started it awhile back, but I put it away for the time being. But yesterday I met with a designer who put some pieces together for me.”

 

“Can we see?” Dag asks.

 

“This is important, a huge secret.” Cheryl begins as she leans forward with narrowed eyes. “You two sure you can handle it?”

 

The twins both nod eagerly, “Yeah.”

 

Just as Cheryl pulls up the photos, a waitress appears to take their order and the twins switch their attention to her instantly. She sits back and listens as Juni orders blueberry pancakes with extra bacon and Dag begins to list off pancakes, eggs, bacon, and a side of hashbrowns. A soft laugh leaves her as it dawns on her once more that the twins are growing up, and along with that comes a growing appetite. She wonders if Gavin’s appetite will increase like this, how Toni will handle it while complaining about him eating his way through her wallet. For a moment, she disappears into her head and pictures a late night McDonalds run with Gavin.

 

“And for you?”

 

Cheryl blinks up at the waitress, “Oh. Um. I think I’ll have the fruit salad, without watermelon slices. Turkey sausage, and a small order of cheese hashbrowns. Thank you.”

 

Juni hurries the waitress along as she pushes the menus her way, “Show us the pictures, Auntie Chezza! I wanna see.”

 

“Alright, alright. You remind me so much of myself at this age, impatient and excited.” Cheryl smiles as she types in her password. “Do I have your assurance that you’ll keep this to yourselves?”

 

Dag cocks an eyebrow, “Super swear.”

 

“Super swear.” Juni chirps.

 

“Okay, this is what they showed me yesterday. It’s just a start.” Cheryl warns as she sets the phone down and slides it to them. “It’s still in the beginnings and it’ll be a little bit before I can even release anything, but Jules sees potential in it. So, with her approval…”

 

“A baby clothes line?” Dag cuts in.

 

Juni frowns slowly, “A _boys_ clothes line.”

 

“Yeah.” Cheryl nods, but her expression slowly drops at the look the twins share. “What’s wrong? You guys don’t like it?”

 

“The clothes are dope, Aunt Chezza.” Dag assures her with a hint of a smile. “We uh just didn’t know you were into like making baby clothes.”

 

“Did you design these for Aunt T?” Juni demands.

 

Dag sighs heavily, “Juni, dad said we weren’t supposed to mention Aunt T. Why is it that you never listen?”

 

“I _do_ listen!”

 

“Yet you still mentioned Aunt T?”

 

Cheryl feels her head spin as the twins go back and forth while she reaches out to grab her phone. She thinks about what they said, how they immediately knew what inspired this line. She started this line when she and Toni were working things out, when the chance of having a family was at her fingertips. But when she ended it with Toni, she locked away the idea of the designs and promised herself to burn them one day. Instead she has decided to pursue it, she has decided to drop her first solo line. And it _is_ for Toni, for Gavin. And she’s honestly not ashamed to admit it.

 

Juni drops her head slightly, “Can we still call her that?”

 

“Call her what?” Cheryl frowns as she looks between them in confusion.

 

“Aunt T?”

 

Cheryl softens at the matching sullen looks Dag and Juni give her, “Of course you can. She loves you two, and I know you guys just adore her. Just because her and I aren’t together doesn’t change the fact that she had an impact on your lives.”

 

“I thought she was cool.” Juni shrugs as she sips at her ice tea. “And she made you like _super_ happy, dad thought she was great.”

 

Dag rolls his eyes, “Juni is convinced that you and Aunt Toni are like written in the stars or whatever. She’s convinced you’re Romeo and Juliet. I tried to tell her not to bring it up. It’s bullshit.”

 

“Dagwood.” Cheryl snaps with a glare of warning, and he simply rolls his eyes. “Juni, things with Toni and I are complicated. You know that. We’re not together anymore.”

 

“Aunt Chez, we’re not little kids anymore. We know what happened.” Juni sighs. “Cheating is so not cool, but you guys are in love. Can you honestly say you’re not still in love with her?”

 

Cheryl rolls her eyes, “You’re fourteen. I shouldn’t be having a conversation like this with you, your parents would kill me.”

 

“Nah, mom and dad are totally game for you and Aunt T to get back together.” Dag mumbles. “He said you guys are good for each other, like mom is for him.”

 

“Did your dad tell you this or have you been using those big ears to listen in on his conversations with your mom again?” Cheryl asks as she reaches across the table to rub his ear.

 

“Hey, eavesdropping pays off!” Dag whines as he pulls away from her hand. “I’ve learned a lot of stuff from dropping in on their conversations, and if they _really_ didn’t want me to hear then dad needs to learn how to talk quieter.”

 

“He does have a big mouth.” Cheryl hums as she cups her hands around her warm mug of tea. “I just don’t think he wants you listening in on private things, bud.”

 

“Yeah, yeah we get that he’s annoying and can’t stay out of people’s business!” Juni cuts in with wide, excited eyes. “Back to Aunt T! What are you gonna do?”

 

Cheryl arches an eyebrow as she sips her tea for a moment, “What do you mean?”

 

“You’re gonna get back together, right?”

 

Cheryl chokes on her tea at the question, and she tries to think back on their conversation and figure out how Juni drew _that_ idea. Of course she wants Toni back, but too much has happened. Too much has changed. And there’s no way she can safely explain that to two fourteen-year-olds who still talk about Toni with stars in their eyes. She knows they’re old enough to hear what happened, but she also knows they don’t fully grasp it. They don’t know about the nights she spent crying, the days she spent drinking, or the mornings she spent staring hopelessly out the window of a plane. They know about what happened, but there’s no way they could understand the pain.

 

“Babe, I don’t know what gave you that idea…”

 

“Love isn’t easy, Aunt Chez.” Dag jumps in with a hopeful smile. “Mom always says that love is a daily battle, and you have to fight for it. So, why can’t you fight for Aunt T?”

 

The words build on her tongue as she feels her immediate hackles rise. She _did_ fight for Toni. She fought so long and so hard that by the end of it she was left with nothing. She tried so hard to make it work, to pretend that her heart didn’t ache anytime she looked at Toni and saw even the barest hint of a swell of a baby bump. She tried to stand by her, to love her through it all, but she chose her right to be selfish. She chose to walk away, to give herself the freedom she deserved. She didn’t want a baby that involved Jughead, and so she walked away and has spent the last year and a half kicking herself for it.

 

“It doesn’t work like that, Juni.” Cheryl whispers with a small, sad smile. “There’s so much more that goes into it.”

 

Juni pouts, “Like what?”

 

“Just...a lot of different things.” Cheryl replies, and her niece huffs in response. “I just don’t think you two would understand, okay?”

 

“Try us.” Dag orders.

 

Cheryl breathes a sigh of relief as the waitress approaches with their food, “How about we just eat our food and make this perfect day a little more perfect?”

 

“Fine. But only because I don’t like to talk and eat, mom says manners are important.” Dag grumbles as he scowls down at his food.

 

“She’s right.” Cheryl laughs as she reaches for her phone as it pings. “Lemme just check this text and I’ll respecting those manners as well.”

 

**Ronnie: Mind if I borrow your guest room for the next few nights?**

 

Cheryl’s smile slowly falls, “So much for the perfect day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I want it to be known that I don’t hate Jughead. I mean, I’m not crazy about his character but I’m not making him a villain because I hate him or anything.


	6. i know it’s over (but i still love her)

“Cheryl!”

 

Cheryl smiles softly, “You busy?”

 

“No, not really.” Toni shrugs as she steps aside and allows Cheryl into the apartment. “GJ and I were just having a bit of tummy time.”

 

“Tummy time?” Cheryl laughs as she trials Toni into the foyer. “Never did I imagine those words coming from _your_ mouth.”

 

“If you get a kick out me saying that, you should hear me when I use my baby voice.” Toni laughs, and Cheryl sighs happily at the sound. “I’ve found that having a baby changes a lot about you.”

 

Cheryl pauses at the couch as Toni lays back down in front of Gavin, “Oh? Did one of your pregnancy magazines tell you that?”

 

“Nah. Just common sense.” Toni smirks, and her gaze slowly drifts back to her son. “Hi, baby. Wanna use those big ‘ol muscles and show Cheryl how you can hold yourself up?”

 

“I don’t think…” Cheryl trails off as she watches Gavin lift himself onto shaky arms. “Oh my God, Toni! Look at him!”

 

“Impressive, right?” Toni beams. “We were laying on the floor reading books last night and he just hauled himself up. I tried to get a video of it for Betty, but I couldn’t stop staring at him. My baby is becoming more than a potato.”

 

Cheryl rolls her eyes, “You ruined that adorable speech you had going.”

 

“He’s a potato, Cheryl!” Toni protests with a small giggle. “He just...as Marge Simpson once said, I just think they’re neat. Just...y’know replace that they with a he. _He’s_ neat.”

 

“You are something else, Toni.” Cheryl smiles as she tilts her head. “It isn’t fair that you’re this adorable, you know that?”

 

“I can’t help it, it’s in my genes. Just look at my son, my little clone.” Toni coos. “He has that adorable thing going, right?”

 

“Definitely.”

 

“Would you care to join us?” Toni asks as she smiles up at Cheryl. “I know GJ would love to have a beautiful face encouraging him to crawl. It would be a lot of help.”

 

Cheryl rolls her eyes, “Enough with the sweet talk.”

 

“It works every time.” Toni chirps, and Cheryl simply chuckles as she joins them on the floor with her face inches from Gavin’s. “I’m just thinking how easy it’ll be once he starts crawling.”

 

“Or it’ll be worse.” Cheryl hums. “He’s going to be everywhere. Getting into things. Breaking things. Climbing on things.”

 

“Basically, she’s saying you’re a cat.” Toni frowns as she looks to Gavin. “I’m not sure how I feel about you calling my son a pussy.”

 

“Toni! Little ears!” Cheryl exclaims.

 

“Nothing he hasn’t heard before. I say the word fuck at least nine times a day.” Toni shrugs. “And Betty isn’t any better.”

 

“How is she doing?” Cheryl whispers.

 

“She’s okay.” Toni admits in a hesitant tone. “I mean, she misses Veronica but she knows they need time apart. They both have a lot to think about and Betty just got overwhelmed.”

 

“I hate that I caused…”

 

“ _We_.” Toni cuts in. “We caused this.”

 

“We.” Cheryl sighs. “I just wish they’d find their way back to happy ever after, they’re my inspiration. I can only dream of finding something like that with someone.”

 

“Yeah,” Toni murmurs as she meets Cheryl’s strong gaze. “Me too.”

 

“So, uh...there was a reason I came.” Cheryl admits as she stumbles to her feet. “I wanted to start sizing for Gavin.”

 

Toni clears her throat, “What do you mean?”

 

“I want Gavin to be the first to wear my new line, I just need his size.” Cheryl explains. “Do you have anything I can check?”

 

“Oh. Yeah. Lemme grab a onesie.” Toni mumbles as she quickly stands. “You don’t have to pick a particular color, but he does look the best in navy blue. It brings out his eyes.”

 

Cheryl nods, “I’ll consider it.”

 

“And maybe…” Toni trails off as she stumbles over one of Gavin’s toys and teeters forward. “Son of a fucking bitch!”

 

Cheryl barely manages to grab Toni’s forearms as she fumbles forward, and a breath of surprise leaves her at the cliche moment. Here Toni is, back in her arms, and all she can do is look down at her with wide eyes. She’s so beautiful, from the sparkle of darkness in her brown eyes to the way her pink lips twist into an apologetic smile. It reminds her so much of what used to be, how easy they used to have it. Love used to be like breathing for them, a simple habit. Yet here they are, a thousand a miles away and trying to find their way back together. Cheryl feels the pull, she allows her head to duck as she skims her nose over Toni’s and shudders out a sigh.

 

“Cheryl…”

 

“I love you.” Cheryl whispers, and she curses the way her tears burn in her eyes. “I love you, Toni. I never stopped, but we’re so far apart. We’re too far apart, aren’t we?”

 

Toni swallows audibly, “I don’t think so. I think that when two people are meant to be, finding their way back together is simple.”

 

“Is it?” Cheryl chuckles, and she lingers her mouth an inch away from Toni. “If I kiss you right now, it’s over. I’m not going to be able to stay away.”

 

“Then kiss me. Kiss me and _stay_.”

 

Cheryl knows there’s a thousand things they need to talk about, she knows what they’re doing is a heat of the moment. It won’t be as easy as she is trying to make it seem, she won’t be able to fall back into Toni’s arms like the last year and some months hasn’t happened. Yet she allows their lips to linger a breath away, and right as she closes the distance, a bucket of ice is poured over them in a the form of a knock at the door. The moment shatters and Toni whimpers as her eyes flutter close and she twists the cashmere of Cheryl’s sweater into her fists.

 

“Toni?”

 

The sound of Jughead makes everything turn cold as she pulls away from Toni completely and fixes her sweater. He’s here to pick up Gavin, and to remind her just why this all happened in the first place. Cheryl wishes she had the strength to stay, she wishes she could pull herself together and not run, but she does. She spins on her heels and leaves the apartment just as Jughead slips in. She doesn’t stop running until she is safe in her car and twisting her hands around the leather of the steering wheel as she stares off and watches the bustle of New York. Once again, her and Toni were so close but so far apart.

 

-

 

 _Jughead is_   _exhausted. Every bone in his body feels tired and all he wants is his bed and a long, empty dream filled night. But apparently the universe as different ideas for him as he exits the elevator and sees Toni waiting for him with tears in her eyes and regret in her expression. His heart skips a beat at the sight of her, he can’t help; he knows he shouldn’t be infatuated with her, she’s taken, but she’s so beautiful. So smart. So perfect. Everything Cheryl doesn’t deserve._

_Jughead clears his throat, “Toni?”_

_“We made a mistake.” Toni hisses._

 

_The words hit him and he tries to digest them. He knows what she’s referring to, that night in the alley still plays in the back of his mind. Jughead tried to remain impassive, tries to play it off like he doesn’t care what she’s said. But it cuts him deep, it hurts. He doesn’t think they made a mistake, he doesn’t have any regrets about that night. In his head, it was all meant to be. They were meant to be. But, as it always did, the universe came along and destroyed that notion._

 

_“What are you talking about?” Jughead sighs as he hikes his satchel up his shoulder. “What are you doing here?”_

_“I told you. We made a mistake.” Toni hisses as she tosses something at his feet. “Congratulations. You’re going to be a father.”_

_The air sucks freely from his lungs as his knees go weak and he reaches down to pick up the positive pregnancy test. Right there on the white, cheap stick is the evidence of their supposed mistake. The fear grips deep in his stomach as he looks from the pregnancy test to Toni who tightens her jacket around her frame and looks away. They’re having a baby, he’s going to be a father; as hard as he tries, he can’t fight his smile._

_“You’re pregnant?” Jughead whispers._

_Toni scoffs, “Yeah.”_

_“Okay.” Jughead breathes out. “Okay. Well, we can uh we can make this work. Somehow. Or you can...you can get an abortion.”_

 

_“Slow down. I’m not aborting my baby.” Toni snaps with a defensive growl. “And there’s nothing for us to figure out. We’ve met like five times, Jughead. And we had sex, drunk and stupid sex. I don’t even know you. You don’t know me.”_

_“There’s time…”_

_“I don’t know you.” Toni repeats with a shake of her head. “I slept with you because you kept buying me drinks and telling me that I was better than I felt. I slept with you because I was lonely and stupid. Yes, it was consensual and I...I wanted it at the time, but I don’t want you.”_

_Jughead furrows his_ _brow, “We’re having a child.”_

_“That’s fine. It’s called co-parenting. And that’s even if you want to be involved.” Toni shrugs. “I won’t beg you for you to be.”_

_“You seem pretty ready to do this all on your own, Toni.” Jughead sneers. “So, why are you even bothering to tell me?”_

_“I didn’t want you finding out about this from someone else, you deserved to know.” Toni replies. “This is...this baby is yours as well, I won’t try and keep you from being involved.”_

_“I want to. I want to be involved.” Jughead assures her, and he sees the flash of disappointment roll over her face. “Do you...we should go get something to eat, talk about this.”_

_“I can’t.” Toni mumbles. “Cheryl is waiting.”_

_Jughead feels his stomach drop as Toni nods to where a car sits a few feet away, the motor purring softly. It takes a moment to put the pieces together; Toni is back with Cheryl, Cheryl knows about the baby, and Cheryl is staying. Irritation roars ugly in his gut as he clenches his fist around the pregnancy test and watches as Toni takes a small step back. He feels the distance already growing between them, the distance growing between himself and his child._

_“I’ll text you.” Toni offers._

_Jughead nods, “Okay.”_

_“I don’t want to make this a big thing, okay? I know a baby is a big deal, but we don’t have to make it into something huge.” Toni murmurs. “We can all meet up and sit down and talk.”_

_“Okay.” Jughead repeats._

_With that, Toni turns and walks away._

 

“Come on, little guy.” Jughead smiles as he easily removes the carseat from its set up. “I forgot your favorite stuff lion, and we’re a little short on time. I only have you for a few hours.”

 

The coo that leaves his son causes a smile to erupt on his face as he hauls the carseat further up his arm before he begins to trek back to Toni’s apartment building. He wishes he could have more time with Gavin, his few hours every day seem so mediocre compared to the days Toni gets to spend with him. He wants to raise his boy right, and he knows the only way to do that is to be more involved in his life. But Toni keeps him at a standstill, always keeps him at a distance. He just wishes he could break through the barrier, wishes he could just make a home in her heart.

 

“You think your mom will ever love me?” Jughead muses as they wait for the elevator. “Do you think we’re ever going to be a family?”

 

Gavin gurgles in response.

 

Jughead chuckles as the elevator doors part, “I hope so too, kid. I can teach you all about modern society and how screwed up it is.”

 

As they climb each floor, Jughead continues to talk quietly to Gavin. This is what he mostly does when he has his son, just rambles on about things that he won’t understand. He tells him about the models and photoshoots, he fills him in on the work place gossip that bores him, and he reads him the different chapters he’s written in his book. Gavin is his best friend, his world. With a small half-smile, Jughead steps from the elevator as the doors ding open and he begins the familiar trek towards Toni’s apartment.

 

Jughead pauses at the end of the hallway as he sees Cheryl knock against the door with a frantic expression. He feels the dread run through his veins as soon as Toni opens the door and Cheryl’s hands frame her face. It doesn’t take a genius to realize what’s happening, to watch as two broken halves become whole again. He sees the way Toni melts against the doorframe as hand tangles in fiery red locks while she presses herself onto the tips of her toes to deepen the kiss. There’s so much happiness poured into the kiss, like a long overdue apology is finally being made. It makes him sick to his stomach.

 

And then the rage sets in, all the words Toni has spewed about her and Cheryl being over. All the assurance that what they have has long past blown past the chance of reconciling. So, Jughead looks from the way Toni smiles up at Cheryl and whispers something he can’t hear and then down to their son. It only takes him a moment to turn on his heels and leave; if Toni gets her happiness back then there’s no way she’s getting his happiness too. He slips from the apartment with Gavin happily babbling in his carseat and leaves them to figure out whatever it is they have.

 

-

 

Jughead’s late. And not five minutes, not even ten. An _hour_. Sixty minutes. And she can’t breathe. It feels like her world is caving in because this isn’t like him, not when it comes to Gavin. Their son is on a schedule, a schedule they both sat down and worked out together. This isn’t like him, she knows something has to be wrong. Her stomach twists in agony as she paces through the living room and sends him another slew of texts, she’s on her forty fifth and all have gone unread. Toni allows a small sob to slip as she stares at her phone screen and waits for something to happen. _Anything_.

 

This isn’t how this day was supposed to go, it was supposed to be a good one. Cheryl kissed her. Cheryl came back, she came running back to her door and kissed her. That has to count for something, right? So, why is the universe spitting on her now? There’s so many thoughts going through her head, so many uncomfortable feelings and she feels like she’s suffocating. A sob breaks free from her chest just as her phone lights up with a picture of Jughead and their son.

 

“Jug? Where are you?”

 

_“We’re out.”_

 

“That doesn’t answer my question.” Toni snaps as she runs a hand through her hair. “Where is my son, Jughead?”

 

_“He’s with me. He’s safe.”_

 

“Bring him home. _Now_.” Toni orders, and her voice quivers over every word. “He was supposed to be home an hour ago, it’s time for his dinner and his bath.”

 

_“I can feed him. You seemed quite content when I came back to grab Cisco. You know, his favorite little lion. I figured the last thing you needed was GJ interrupting your little reunion with Cheryl.”_

 

Toni feels her stomach drop, “Jug…”

 

_“I guess I was wrong, huh? You two are really meant to be together, you always said you’d find your way back together. So, congratulations.”_

 

“Jughead,” Toni whimpers. “Please. Please bring me my son. You don’t get to punish me for something that has nothing to do with you. Bring him home.”

 

_“I just wanted to let you know he’s safe.”_

 

The line goes dead and Toni wails with disbelief. This can’t be real, it can’t be happening. The panic seizes deep in her gut as she feels her knees go weak before she sinks to the floor. He has her son, her baby boy. Her hands shake as she frantically reaches for her phone and finds a familiar number, and sends out a text.

 

-

 

“Are you planning to drink your way through my entire cellar, Ronnie?” Cheryl smirks. “That has to be your fourth bottle in two days.”

 

Veronica sips her wine slowly, “I saw your sketches.”

 

“So, you snoop through my stuff when I’m not home? Nice.” Cheryl scoffs as she shrugs off her jacket. “Why does it matter? This line is something I’m planning to expand on my own.”

 

“We do everything together. We’re supposed to the dynamic duo of fashion.” Veronica reminds her. “I guess you have other plans though, right? One good conversation with Toni and suddenly you’re building her an empire.”

 

“It’s a baby clothes line, Ronnie.” Cheryl scoffs. “I didn’t really expect you to show an interest in it so I kept it to myself. And it isn’t for Toni. This is something I…”

 

“Why do you lie to yourself?” Veronica demands with a bitter laugh. “Why do you do this to yourself over and over again? She _cheated_ on you. She has a child with another man.”

 

Cheryl runs a hand through her hair, “I really don’t have any desire to have this conversation with you _again_ , Veronica.”

 

“You were a mess. You were in shambles, and now you’re just running back?” Veronica sneers as she sips her wine. “It’s _pathetic_ , Cheryl. You deserve better than that.”

 

“Anyone ever tell you that you’re kind of a rude drunk?” Cheryl snaps as she reaches out to grab the half empty bottle. “And the only thing pathetic right now is you moping around instead of fixing things with your wife.”

 

Veronica huffs, “She said she needed space.”

 

“That was like four days ago.” Cheryl points out. “I know you two like to play some weird cat and mouse game, but even this is a little much. Go talk to her. Fix this.”

 

“I can’t.” Veronica whispers. “We’re on two opposite sides. I don’t want you getting back with Toni, she doesn’t deserve a second chance.”

 

“Ronnie, I’m an adult. I can make my own decisions, I don’t need you ruining your marriage over my love life.” Cheryl chuckles. “Toni and I will figure all of this out on our own.”

 

Veronica shakes her head, “Do you remember that night you fell asleep in the office because you were too scared to go home? You didn’t want to walk into an empty house.”

 

“I still don’t…”

 

“I stayed with you. I wiped your tears, I held the trash can under your chin because you were throwing up from crying so hard.” Veronica reminds her. “I was there through _all_ of that. I saw you break, scream, cry, and punch a hole in the wall. So, excuse me if I’m not jumping at the idea of you getting back with Toni.”

 

Cheryl heaves a breath, “I’m sorry you had to deal with all of the bad, but you were also there for the good. You saw how happy she made me, how happy she _still_ makes me. She changed my life, Ronnie. She changed _me_.”

 

Veronica licks her lips as she polishes off the last of the wine in her glass, “You’re always going to love her, aren’t you?”

 

“Until my last breath.” Cheryl nods.

 

“I just want you to be happy.” Veronica shrugs. “I just want you to feel good about yourself again, to be back to who you were before this entire mess started. I miss _that_ version of you.”

 

“She’s slowly starting to come back.” Cheryl admits as she drops onto the couch beside her best friend. “I uh I went to see Toni this morning, and we almost kissed…”

 

Veronica shakes her head, “Almost?”

 

“Well, Jughead came knocking on her door ready to take Gavin for his visitation.” Cheryl huffs. “So, I got skittish and pretty much ran out of the apartment. So, I left the apartment building and kind of hung around. Just thinking.”

 

“I already know where this is going.” Veronica laughs with a playful roll of her eyes. “You went back and kissed her?”

 

Cheryl nods, “I went back and kissed her.”

 

“And now what?” Veronica demands.

 

“I don’t know.” Cheryl admits. “After I kissed her, I just kinda said goodbye and left. It felt so right though, and I couldn’t help myself. I’m ready to forgive her, Ronnie.”

 

Veronica shakes her head, “You’re more forgiving than I could ever be, Cheryl. If I was in your shoes, I would’ve cut her out of my heart and mind a long time ago.”

 

“I tried. You know I tried.” Cheryl sighs. “But she’s the love of my life, she’s my soulmate. She’s my _Betty_. Do I think everything is going to be perfect now? Of course not. Do we still need to talk about things? Of course. But I’m...ready.”

 

“Okay.” Veronica breathes out after a moment, and a small smile pulls at her lips. “I always figured this day was going to come, the day I was going to have to open my arms and let you stumble back into the big, bad world.”

 

Cheryl rolls her eyes, “You sound like my mother.”

 

“You’ve been through a lot and I saw you through all of it, you can’t fault me for wanting to protect you. You’d do the same for me.” Veronica shrugs as she reaches for her vibrating phone. “I just hope you don’t end up broken again.”

 

“Not this time. It’s going to be different, _I’m_ going to be different.” Cheryl assures her, but the small smile on her face falls as she sees Veronica’s face fall. “What’s wrong?”

 

“It’s Betty.” Veronica whispers as she quickly stumbles to her feet. “We need to get over to Toni’s. Call Jason.”

 

Cheryl quickly stands, “What’s going on?”

 

“Jughead took Gavin.”

 

The words wash over her and she feels the ground shift from beneath her feet, and she can only imagine how Toni is. _Toni_. The thought of her causes Cheryl to quickly kick herself into gear as she hurries to grab her keys. As she climbs into the car, her hands shake and she takes a moment to close her eyes and calm herself; she needs to get to Toni, she needs to make sure that she’s okay. As okay as she can be.

 

“Can I punch him?” Veronica demands.

 

Cheryl opens her eyes, “Punch him? Forget that. I’m going to beat his ass.”

 

“That’s my girl.”

 

-

 

“Toni, do you want some water…?”

 

“I want my son.” Toni breathes out as she clutches his blanket to her chest. “Betty, where is he? Where did Jughead take him?”

 

Betty sits beside her, “I don’t know, sweetie. But it’s going to be okay, he’s going to come home. I promise. I don’t care if I have to hunt him down myself, GJ _will_ come home.”

 

“Why would he do this?” Toni sobs. “Why is he so desperate to hurt me? What did I do, Betty? What did I _do_?”

 

“I don’t know, Toni.” Betty whispers as she gathers her best friend in her arms. “Just breathe, okay? I called Veronica and she’s coming over, she’s bringing Cheryl and Jason.”

 

Toni pulls away, “Jason?”

 

“He’s a lawyer, he’ll know what to do.” Betty explains. “He handles cases like this all the time, he can explain to you about drawing up custody papers for Gavin.”

 

“I can’t think of that right now.” Toni whimpers as a tear rolls down the length of her cheek. “I just want my baby.”

 

A knock echoes through the apartment and Toni is off the couch before Betty can make a move. It’s heartbreaking to see the way her face falls as soon as she is met with a trio of people who are definitely not her son. But in the same breath, Toni crumbles into Cheryl’s arms as she presses her face into her shoulder and sobs. It’s a raw sound, the sound of a mother who has been torn away from her child and has no idea what to do. It’s a sound that sends chills down spines and brings tears to eyes. It’s a sound that has Veronica crossing the room as she ducks into Betty’s arms and tucks herself beneath her chin.

 

“Hey, you’re okay. It’s going to be okay.” Cheryl soothes. “If he’s not back within the next few hours, we’ll contact the police. Either way, your son is going to be home tonight.”

 

Toni nods slowly, “I’m scared.”

 

“Don’t be. We’ll fix this, _I’ll_ fix this.” Cheryl assures her as she pushes Toni back. “Come on, let me get you a glass of water.”

 

“I don’t want water.” Toni huffs as she turns to storm back towards her phone. “I need to call the police, I want my son back.”

 

Jason reaches out to touch her hand, “There isn’t much they can do right now, Toni. There’s no custody arrangement for Gavin, you both made a choice to do this your way.”

 

“And that was a mistake.” Toni hisses. “I don’t care if we made a custody arrangement between us instead of doing it legally, he doesn’t get to run off with my son.”

 

“T, maybe we should just wait.” Betty suggests with a calm smile. “Jason is right, there’s not much we can do. If he isn’t back within the next hour, I’ll call the police myself.”

 

Toni doesn’t argue, she just turns away from them and moves to the nursery. She feels so dramatic, like her world is falling apart. She feels like she’s overreacting, but she doesn’t know how to respond; Jughead has their child and he won’t tell her where they are. She’s terrified. All she can think about is them leaving the city, of Jughead smiling as he and Gavin fly off into the sunset. A sob builds in her throat and she clamps a hand over her mouth to smother it, just as her knees grow weak arms string gently around her and guide her to the floor.

 

“Shh. You’re okay.”

 

“I’m not. I’m not okay. I won’t be okay until Gavin is back in my arms.” Toni whimpers. “Why am I so scared? Why do I feel like I suddenly can’t breathe?”

 

Veronica sighs, “He’s your son. You don’t know where he is. You have a right to be scared, you have a right to be angry. Nobody can tell you how to feel, Toni.”

 

“I know. I just...I’m his mom, I shouldn’t be falling apart like this.” Toni sniffles as she rubs tiredly at her eyes. “I should be strong. I should be blowing up Jug’s phone.”

 

“Don’t worry about that, my wife is taking care of that.” Veronica chuckles with an amused roll of her eyes. “She’s called him fifteen times and texted him a quarter of a dozen.”

 

“She’s always been officiant.” Toni chuckles.

 

“That she has. Always put me to shame.” Veronica nods as she falls back against the crib and Toni moves to sit beside her. “You did a good job with this, it looks great.”

 

“I learned all my color schemes from you.” Toni smirks, and she latches easily onto the distraction. “I remembered you basically harassing Betty about wedding colors, I kinda just took what I learned from that.”

 

“You paired the colors nicely, and the wood accents fit perfectly.” Veronica assures her. “I’m seriously impressed.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

Veronica falls silent for a moment, “I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t. Don’t apologize.” Toni orders. “You have nothing to apologize for, you did nothing wrong. Everything you’ve said to me is true, and I deserved to hear it.”

 

“You didn’t deserve _all_ of it, just most of it. You didn’t deserve my drunken rambles.” Veronica blushes. “I shouldn’t have tried to attack Gavin like that, I had no right to bring him up.”

 

Toni clears her throat, “I agree.”

 

“I’m just...I want to try, okay? I want things to go back to how they were, but I’m not stupid enough to believe they will.” Veronica frowns. “But I don’t want to miss out on Gavin growing up, Betty absolutely adores him.”

 

“And he adores her.” Toni whispers. “I would very much like you to be involved in his life, but I realize you and I have things to work through first. Just like Cheryl and I do.”

 

Veronica snorts, “You two have _a lot_ to work out.”

 

“I know.” Toni groans as she squeezes her eyes shut. “And we will, we’ll talk soon. But first I need my son.”

 

“He’ll be okay.” Veronica murmurs as she offers her hand to Toni, and the woman is quick to latch on. “Want me to stay with you?”

 

Toni sniffles, “Please.”

 

They sit in the nursery in pure silence, the only noise being the soft mutters of voices outside in the living room. They sit so long that when a knock rocks through the air, Toni has to stumble to find her footing on her numb legs. She tears through the apartment and barrels past Jason just as he opens the door to reveal a sheepish Jughead standing on the opposite side. In his arms, Gavin coos and flashes a smile that shows the beginnings of his bottom teeth.

 

“Gavin!”

 

Toni’s cry is frantic, and full of tears. Cheryl simply sighs in relief as she watches Toni sweep Gavin from Jughead’s arms before he looks him over. The worry is clear in her gaze and Cheryl finally looks to Jughead who stands with his jaw clenched and an unreadable expression on her face. She wants to hit him, she wants to hit him so badly that her veins literally roar with fire. Instead, she approaches Toni and looks over her shoulder as her own eyes run carefully over Gavin to insure not a single hair is out of place.

 

“What the _hell_ , Jughead?” Betty demands.

 

“I just…”

 

“You just made the biggest mistake.” Jason snaps, and Cheryl presses a hand to his chest to keep him back. “We’re taking you to court and we’re going for sole and legal custody.”

 

Jughead goes pale, “Toni…”

 

“Stay away from us.” Toni orders as she turns herself away from the man. “I _trusted_ you, you said we were a team. You said we could make this happen if we stuck together. You _kidnapped_ my son, Jughead.”

 

“I didn’t kidnap him.” Jughead sneers. “I took him with me and kept him for a few extra hours. I don’t see the harm in that, he’s my son too.”

 

“You refused to tell me where you were, and you didn’t pick up your phone for over four hours. I should’ve called the police.” Toni hisses. “We always swore not to take this to court, but after today I can’t trust you anymore.”

 

“I made _one_ mistake. I was upset. How was I supposed to feel after seeing your display with Cheryl in the hallway?” Jughead demands, and he breathes out a laugh as Toni pauses. “Yeah. You weren’t exactly private about it.”

 

“Why should I be?” Toni scoffs as she gathers herself once more. “You and I aren’t together, we never were. You’re the father of my child and I will be eternally grateful for you giving me Gavin, but that’s where the story ends. I don’t love you.”

 

“But you love her?” Jughead asks as he gestures wildly towards Cheryl. “She _left_. She dangled the idea of a future in front of your face and just when you reached for it, she snatched it away.”

 

Cheryl furrows her brow, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“I know _exactly_ what I’m talking about, you left and I picked up the pieces. I was there for her. I was there for _my_ family.” Jughead reminds her. “You were off getting drunk and crying over something you could’ve easily fixed.”

 

“That’s enough!” Veronica exclaims as she turns her sharp glare to Jughead. “You need to leave, you’ve done enough.”

 

Jughead allows his gaze to scan over the faces in the room and he isn’t surprised by what he sees: utter disgust and distrust. He scoffs and tries to mentally justify his actions, tries to calm the anger that thrums in his chest. The man carefully sets Gavin’s diaper bag down and looks across the room at his son as Toni presses continuous kisses to his face. Before him, Cheryl slides to hide them from view and he looks at her with fury burning deep in his gaze.

 

“This isn’t over.” Jughead hisses.

 

Cheryl meets his glare, “Oh, I know.”


	7. maybe it’s time to let the old ways die

“Hey.”

 

Toni looks up to the doorway, “Hi.”

 

“I managed to convince Betty to go home for the night, but she assured me she’ll be back as early as she can tomorrow.” Cheryl chuckles as she leans against the doorway. “You okay?”

 

“I don’t want to put him down.” Toni admits as she cuddles Gavin closer. “I put him in his crib for maybe five seconds, but I got nervous and immediately picked him back up.”

 

Cheryl sighs, “You can’t sleep with him in here.”

 

“I know.” Toni whispers. “I just...in the back of my mind I knew Jughead would bring him back, but there was that fear. I was so terrified I wouldn’t be able to hold him again.”

 

“Hey,” Cheryl soothes as she crosses the room to kneel beside Toni’s bed. “He’s here. He’s home. And he isn’t going _anywhere_. Jason said he’s going to start drawing up papers the minute he gets to his office tomorrow.”

 

“I never wanted it to come to that.” Toni scoffs with a small frown. “He was supposed to be a good guy, y’know? He’s harmless. He’s _Jughead_. I made a mistake, Cheryl.”

 

Cheryl tilts her head, “What do you mean?”

 

“I never should’ve told him about the baby, I never should’ve ruined our relationship.” Toni sniffles as she looks down at her son. “And I...I wish I could go back and change all of it.”

 

“You don’t mean that.” Cheryl sighs.

 

“I do!”

 

“Shh. Don’t wake the baby.” Cheryl orders in a soft voice. “You don’t mean what you said, Toni. If you changed everything, you wouldn’t have Gavin. He is the best part of you.”

 

Toni bites her lip, “I wanted _you_.”

 

“I know, TT.” Cheryl hums, and her hand settles warmly on Toni’s forearm. “We just...we really fucked it all up, didn’t we?”

 

“Not you.” Toni scowls. “ _Me_.”

 

“You’re not taking all the blame for this, I’m the one that started our downfall.” Cheryl reminds her. “I should’ve put us first, I should’ve thought about what you needed. But I didn’t. I just...I just let you slip away.”

 

Toni smiles bitterly, “And then I ruined all of it.”

 

_The house is freezing, that’s the first thing Cheryl notices. She shivers slightly as her bag drops from her shoulders and she tightens her peacoat around her form. The house seems so empty, like it has never been packed with happiness and laughter. Like the hallways don’t have the memories of bare feet running down them and walls don’t whisper of how bodies have been pressed against them. This place is now just a house, it stopped being a home a long time ago. The thought causes the coldness to settle deep in her bones as she patters towards the living room and stops short._

_“You’re here.” Cheryl breathes out._

_Toni looks up slowly, “I am.”_

_“I didn’t think you’d be here.” Cheryl admits as she takes a hesitant step forward. “I know I was supposed to meet you last night and I’m so sorry I didn’t, but…”_

_“You got called away.” Toni cuts in, and a bitter laugh follows shortly after the words. “Yeah. I know. I figured. That’s always the excuse though, right? You and Veronica are constantly being flown all over the world.”_

_Cheryl sighs, “I’ve told you a million times how sorry I am, but this is my job. This is my dream. Why can’t you support that?”_

_“You told me this was your dream, Cheryl.” Toni scoffs as she gestures around the house. “You said having a family with me was your dream. When did that change?”_

_“It didn’t…”_

_“You’re never home, Cheryl. We decided to take a break because we never see each other.” Toni points out. “We’re a million miles away from each other, you have to see that.”_

_“I do. Of course I do.” Cheryl rushes out as she crosses the room to sit on the coffee table in front of Toni. “But I can change, I can change my schedule. I’ll put you first.”_

_Toni looks down at the hand that softly covers her own, “Don’t.”_

_“I’m trying, Toni.” Cheryl murmurs as she lifts Toni’s hand to her lips. “I can try harder, okay? I can be present and make more time for us. I just don’t want to lose you.”_

_“Cheryl.” Toni pleads. “Don’t.”_

_“Don’t what? Don’t fight for you? Don’t fight for what we have?” Cheryl demands. “I thought this was what you wanted…”_

_“I did something last night, Cheryl.”_

_The words don’t tell Cheryl exactly what happened, but it’s enough of a blow to cause her hand to drop Toni’s. It’s enough to cause her stomach to turn. She looks at Toni and sees the regret, the shame in her eyes and all she can do is shake her head. There’s no way Toni would hurt her like this, there’s no way Toni would throw away their life for one night with someone else. This isn’t how this was supposed to go, she isn’t supposed to be facing Toni with the knowledge that their forever has slipped further away._

_“You didn’t.” Cheryl whimpers, and Toni simply nods as a sob slips free. “You did.”_

_“Cheryl, I-I can give you the basic speech about how it meant nothing. Tell you that it was a mistake, and it was,” Toni assures her. “But you don’t like cliches and I don’t have the heart to do that to you. You deserved to know.”_

_Toni makes a move to stand and Cheryl breathes a strong whimper as she reaches out to catch the soft hand that brushes by her. She can’t do it, she can’t let Toni walk out the door. They’ve both made mistakes, and this one can’t be undone but Cheryl doesn’t want to live a life where Toni isn’t at the center of her world. She doesn’t want to wake up every morning and not have Toni lying beside her, she doesn’t want to celebrate her birthdays without her, she doesn’t want to go on double dates with Betty and Veronica and not have someone to hold close, and she doesn’t want to let the love of her life slip out of her orbit._

_“Don’t. Don’t go.” Cheryl pleads._

_Toni shakes her head, “Cheryl, please…”_

_“Stay.” Cheryl orders as she tugs at Toni’s hand till the woman is straddling her. “Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.”_

_“You deserve better than what I did, Cheryl. I cheated on you.” Toni sobs. “Why did I do that? Why did I do that?”_

_Cheryl breathes out a sob, “No. No, we can work past this. We can...we can figure this out. Just don’t go. Please don’t go.”_

_“I have to.”_

_“Stay.” Cheryl repeats in a heavy whisper._

_With as much strength as she can muster through her pain, Cheryl lifts Toni and shifts to lay her on the couch. She hovers over the woman she loves and allows tears to fall and blot against skin she has run her lips over a thousand times. Skin someone else has touched. The thought burns low in her gut as she ducks her head to capture Toni’s lips in a seething kiss. There’s not gentleness to it, just a salty kiss that helps her breathe herself back into Toni’s lungs. Her kisses are frantic as they scatter away from Toni’s lips and down the length of her neck, over bare shoulders._

_“Stay.” Cheryl begs._

_Toni nods as Cheryl latches her teeth into the dip of her collarbone, “Okay.”_

 

“We did that all wrong.” Cheryl admits.

 

Toni nervously licks her lips, “I agree.”

 

“What are we going to do?” Cheryl sighs, and a breathless laugh leaves her. “What are we doing right now?”

 

“I don’t know.” Toni frowns. “But I’m not unhappy about it. I’ve missed you so much, Cheryl. And I know it would be selfish to pursue you so I need you to make the moves, I’ll just follow your lead. Wherever you want to take this, I will happily agree to it.”

 

Cheryl smiles softly as she reaches out to brush a finger over Gavin’s cheek, “I just want you. I want you and every piece of you, and by that I mean Gavin. I-I want to try again.”

 

“Are you sure?” Toni demands.

 

“Yes, Toni. I’m sure.” Cheryl chuckles. “There’s still time to work things out, time to talk. And I want to. We _need_ to, but right now I just want to hold you. I just want you back in my arms.”

 

“As long as you’re okay with Gavin sleeping with us then I want nothing more than to fall asleep in your arms, Cheryl.” Toni whispers.

 

“Bold of you to assume I’m staying the night, Antoinette.” Cheryl scoffs, and she grins happily as Toni blushes. “I’m just kidding, Toni. I want to stay, if you’ll have me.”

 

“Please.” Toni nods. “Stay.”

 

Cheryl moves gracefully from the floor and crawls onto the bed until she’s comfortable enough to pull Toni into her arms. It feels like two puzzle pieces finding their place beside each other, like two broken hearts becoming whole again. Cheryl buzzes with excitement as she ducks her head to kiss the top of Toni’s head as she tightens her hold on the woman. In the warm apartment, Gavin sleeps peacefully while his mother finds her own sense of calmness and manages to drift softly in Cheryl’s protective arms. Above them, Cheryl grins adoringly and decides to keep herself awake; she has two tiny people to protect.

 

-

 

“You’re here.”

 

Veronica smiles, “Where else would I be?”

 

“Mm, somewhere that isn’t here.” Betty murmurs as she curls her arms around Veronica’s waist. “I missed you so much, V.”

 

“I missed you too.” Veronica whispers as she leans back into Betty’s chest. “Can we just agree to never fight like that again?”

 

Betty chuckles as she guides Veronica to turn so she can push her against the counter, “I agree wholeheartedly. I never want to spend another night alone in our bed.”

 

“You won’t have to.” Veronica assures her. “I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Betty hums happily as she ducks her head to press a soft kiss to her lips, and Veronica marvels in the way it tastes of home. She smells the hint of cinnamon on her wife mixed with the constant disinfectant auroma that is glued to Betty permanently. It’s perfect. Just as Betty deepens the kiss, the women are pulled apart as the toaster clicks and Betty jerks back to smile shyly as Veronica turns to grab her bagel. Betty watches her wife with pure adoration; she loves this woman with every piece of herself, and she doesn’t know how she ever got so lucky to have Veronica plopped safely into her world.

 

“I made your coffee.”

 

Betty gives a dopey smile, “I love you.”

 

“I love you, too. Hence the reason why I made your coffee.” Veronica smirks, and her lips soften as Betty presses a kiss to her head. “Are you working a shift today?”

 

“No. I took off.” Betty replies with a shrug. “I talked to the chief and he gave me a few days to get my head straight. If you can, I was hoping you could take some days off with me.”

 

“I would be more than happy to take days off for you, Mrs. Cooper.” Veronica purrs as she easily spreads cream cheese onto the bagel. “How about a night out with friends?”

 

“A night out? No interruptions? No kids? Just us and our friends?” Betty frowns. “I don’t know if nights like that exist anymore, babe. We’re the only couple that’s kid free.”

 

“Well, we can just invite everyone and if they can come then awesome.” Veronica shrugs. “Don’t forget to invite Toni.”

 

“Really?” Betty gaps.

 

Veronica turns to face her wife, “Toni and I talked.”

 

Betty pauses in shock, “You did?”

 

“Kind of.” Veronica admits as she bites into her bagel with a thoughtful frown. “I’m not sure if anything was really resolved other than the fact that we’re done being petty.”

 

“You mean _you’re_ done being petty.” Betty corrects with an amused smile. “I’m glad to hear that, babe. I’ve been waiting for you to come to your senses and realize you can’t change the past.”

 

“I didn’t think I could.” Veronica admits as she stares at her wife. “Not until you and I were standing with a wall between us, then I realized my marriage is more important than something I can’t change.”

 

Betty reaches out to wipe a crumb from the corner of Veronica’s mouth, “That’s my girl.”

 

“I know that Cheryl and Toni are going to end up together.” Veronica shrugs. “I know it’s only a matter of time, so I might as well just let Cheryl be happy. She deserves it.”

 

“I absolutely love you.” Betty breathes out.

 

“You only love me because I’m making nice with your best friend.” Veronica teases, and Betty rolls her eyes in response. “Honestly, I realized that I want to be a part of Gavin’s life. I see how much he means to you, and I want you to know that I appreciate everything you hold close.”

 

Betty smiles softly, “Thank you, V.”

 

“I love you, Elizabeth Cooper. That’s never going to change, and I know your love for Toni never will so I want to work things out.” Veronica replies as she lifts her bagel to Betty’s mouth. “I want our lives to go on, but we can’t do that if I’m living in the past.”

 

“You’re right.” Betty nods as she bites into the bread. “So, onward to the future. No more looking back, right?”

 

“Only up from here, darling.”

 

Betty grins mischievously and reaches out to scoop Veronica into her arms, and her wife squeals in shock as the bagel falls to the floor. With a bright smile, Betty sets Veronica safely on the counter and settles on scattering soft kisses along her smiling lips. She’s so happy. So content. So blessed. She just wants to stay like this forever, just her and Veronica in their happy bubble. After a few more kisses, Veronica cups her cheeks and pulls back slightly to their gazes lock and Betty sees her entire future staring back at her in those dark brown eyes.

 

“You and me, B?”

 

“You and me, V. Forever.”

 

-

 

Jughead is exhausted. He’s been up for days thinking about the events that took place two weeks ago. He hasn’t seen Gavin, only texted Toni to ask for updates and pictures of him; she replies, but never asks if he wants to come see their son. He doesn’t blame her. He knows he messed up, and he’s ashamed. He wishes he had handled it all better, but the dark parts that claw in him managed to engulf him completely and his judgement had been clouded. It has been clouded since the moment Toni looked at him from across the bar and he had fumbled over with his heart cupped in his hands and extended for her to take.

 

A groan leaves him as he stares at the half written article waiting on his laptop, he hasn’t gotten any work done since arriving at work hours ago. He has no motivation. He needs to see his source of inspiration, he needs to see his son. With a quick glance over his shoulder, Jughead checks to make sure everyone is focused on other tasks before he opens another tab and quickly logs onto his Instagram. He finds Toni’s page with ease and his shoulders loosen as he sees his son, but as soon as he focuses on the newest posts he can feel the panic and horror growing.

 

Cheryl is spread through Toni’s feed; brunch outings, days in the park with Gavin, and apparent nights at Toni’s apartment. With his heart in his throat, Jughead clicks on the tag of Cheryl’s name and falls back against his chair as he sees Gavin’s smile lighting up a picture on Cheryl’s profile. Right there in front of him, he sees the one thing he has been dreading; he sees the last piece of a possibility of a future fading, being ripped from his hands with ease. Jughead swallows hard as he closes the tab and fumbles to his feet, he needs to step away. He needs to clear his mind from the dumb thought of a life with Toni, a life he should’ve known would never exist.

 

As he wanders aimlessly through the halls, he turns the corner and notices Cheryl walking towards him with her head bowed. His jaw clenches as he thinks of things to say, he bites back the hateful words and instead clears his throat to catch her attention. Immediately, he sees her expression harden as she regards him for a moment before she continues past him with a sneer of displeasure. Jughead swallows his pride as her heels click evenly against the tiles of the hallway and he turns to watch as she continues to put a distance between them.

 

“Cheryl! Hey, wait!”

 

“What do you want?” Cheryl demands as she continues to her stride down the hallway. “I don’t have time for you right now.”

 

“I just wanted to apologize…”

 

“Save your breath, you’ll need it for court.” Cheryl sneers. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have something important to take care of.”

 

“Tell your brother he doesn’t need to bother with those papers.” Jughead calls after her, and Cheryl slows to a stop. “Once Toni and I talk, I promise she’ll see where I was coming from.”

 

Cheryl glances over her shoulder, “Toni signed everything she needed to this morning, there isn’t going to be a talk.”

 

With that, Cheryl walks away and leaves him to fall back against the wall in shock. His heart aches at the knowledge that Toni is doing this, Toni is fighting to have complete custody of their son. A pained gasp builds in his chest as his head swims and he tries to find his way back to reality. As soon as he can get his feet moving, Jughead is tracing the steps Cheryl took with uneven strides. This isn’t how it was supposed to go, this isn’t what he wanted. He wants a family, he wants Toni. He just wants a chance of forever. The pain manifests in the pit of his stomach as he frantically searches each room for Cheryl.

 

“Look at you!”

 

Jughead frowns as he hears Cheryl’s chipper voice from one of the conference rooms. He wills himself to walk away, to keep himself in check until he can talk to Toni, but he won’t. There’s a part of him that wants to hear it all from Cheryl, hear it from the woman who is ruining his life. He can hear the smile in her voice as she speaks, and he pauses just around the edge of the doorway to peek in and see her staring happily at her phone screen. And right in front of her Toni sits with Gavin in her lap as the infant coos while Toni giggles and runs her fingers through his growing locks.

 

“Is that another tooth?” Cheryl demands.

 

_“Came in last night. That’s his fourth one.”_

 

“Now your smile won’t be so gummy.” Cheryl teases, and Toni simply laughs. “How are you feeling? Did you get any sleep?”

 

_“I did. Surprisingly. I wasn’t crazy about you not being here last night, but Gavin kept me company. I think he missed you too.”_

 

Cheryl tilts her head, “How about I make it up to him and bring dinner from that spot you like downtown? Ravioli and spaghetti on me?”

 

_“You don’t have to do that…”_

 

“I want to, Toni. Let me do this.” Cheryl replies in a soft voice. “I can be there by six fifteen-ish, depending on how bad traffic is this evening. Should I let myself in again?”

 

_“Yeah. I’ll probably be cradling GJ.”_

 

“I’m eventually going to get you to put that baby down.” Cheryl smirks, and Toni simply scrunches her nose. “I promise you I won’t let anything happen to him, Toni.”

 

_“I know. I know that. I trust you, but...he’s my baby and I’m having a bit of separation anxiety. Poor Alice has been dealing with nonstop calls from me when I’m at work.”_

 

Cheryl nods slowly, “I’m sure she understands where you’re coming from, babe.”

 

Babe. _Babe._ The word is so effortless and he fights back the bile that burns at the back of his throat as the conversation fades to a distant buzz. He doesn’t want to hear anymore, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to swallow down his words if he stays. So, Jughead walks away with the knowledge that he’s screwed his own life up; Cheryl is back, and she’s coming for his family. And, in the back of his mind, Jughead knows he’s planning to go to battle with a woman that has already won the war. But he’ll be damned if he doesn’t go down fighting for what he believes he deserves.

 

-

 

Toni is startled from her slight snooze by a tempered cry, and she groans slightly as she sits up to see Gavin fussing beside her. Toni barely gets a yawn out before her arms are full of her son, and his cries lessen as soon as he is safe in her embrace. She knows he should be sleeping in his crib, Cheryl has tried a thousand times to get her to put him down, but Toni can’t. It’s like she knows that if she puts him down that he won’t be there to pick up again. With another soft yawn, Toni balances Gavin in her arms and scoots off her bed as she sways with him and listens to the way he softly cries.

 

“Hey, little man,” Toni coos as she looks down at his pinched expression. “What seems to be the issue here? I bet you just need a new diaper and a fresh bottle, buddy.”

 

Her eyes are barely open as she patters off to the nursery and makes quick work of changing her son’s diaper before she toddles off to the kitchen. The bottles are organized in her fridge for Alice, each one labeled and dated, and Toni rolls her eyes at her own obsessive nature. She can’t help it, she wants to make sure that Gavin is always able to have exactly what he needs, exactly when he needs it. In her arms, Gavin grunts in annoyance and Toni rolls her eyes as she moves to place the bottle in the microwave.

 

“You’re so impatient.” Toni chuckles. “I can’t heat the bottle with my mind, kiddo. You gotta give the microwave at least thirty seconds.”

 

As soon as the bottle is ready, Toni offers the nipple to Gavin and he immediately latches on. His face looks so much like her own that it still shocks her; from the way his eyebrows furrow in frustration to the twist of his lips as he glares up at her. There’s no denying he’s her son, but there’s also no denying that he is half Jughead. He has his father’s smile and the shape of his eyes, and sometimes Toni feels physically ill when she looks at Gavin and sees Jughead looking back. She knows it’s wrong, it isn’t Gavin’s fault, but she also can’t help her distaste for Jughead.

 

As Gavin continues to eat, Toni hums lowly and makes her way to the nursery so she can sit in the rocking chair in the corner of the room. Her fingers trace over the tiny hands wrapped around the blue bottle and she sees the way Gavin scrunches his nose as his eyes grow heavy. Every day she marvels in the life she has, the blessing she was given. If anyone was to see Toni now, she knows they wouldn’t guess that she hadn’t wanted children. She hadn’t dreamt of being a mother until Cheryl came along and planted the seed, gave her the dream of raising a beautiful boy or girl with the woman she loves.

 

“You are more beautiful than I ever imagined, my love.” Toni whispers as Gavin stares up at her. “I love you more and more every day, and I know everyone who meets you feels the same. I promise I’m going to give you the best life, buddy. Just wait.”

 

Gavin drains his bottle halfway between Toni’s second lullaby and she smiles as she sets it aside and shifts her son into her shoulder. As she rocks, her hand pats softly at Gavin’s back until the little boy squirms and releases a small burp. The sound is so small, but so comforting. Toni shifts Gavin in her arms once more and wipes away a small spill of formula before she watches as Gavin’s eyes slowly slide shut. And this time, there’s not hesitation as she lays Gavin in his crib and carefully pulls blue silk over his small form as she watches him sleep.

 

“Sleep good, baby bird.”

 

Toni slips away from the crib and grabs the empty bottle as she wanders off to the kitchen. Her mind begins to speed up with memories as she washes the bottle and thinks of how amazing the last few weeks have been. Cheryl is back in her life, Cheryl wants to work things out. They haven’t kissed again, but Toni can feel the tension building between them; so far they’ve had a few sleepovers and brunches together, and that’s more than enough for her. With a sigh, Toni moves to where her phone lights up and she smiles as she unlocks it and reads the simple goodnight text from Cheryl. It’s so simple, but it makes her heart beat in relief. This is happening, she has a second chance. She knows their talk is coming, it’s long overdue, but she’s terrified. She’s terrified that Cheryl is going to remember exactly why she walked out in the first place.

 

_“Babe, I’m home!”_

_Toni slips into the house and sheds her jacket as she listens to the quietness of the house, feels the stillness settle in her bones. With a frown, Toni slowly walks through the house until she happens upon Cheryl who is waiting with her front facing a crackling fire. Toni wants to approach her, to wrap her arms around her and kiss her shoulder, but something tells her to stay away. Something about this screams danger, screams at her to run out of the house before the inevitable happens. When Cheryl turns to face her, Toni can already see the goodbye forming on her lips._

_“Babe?”_

_Cheryl blinks, “I noticed you were showing this morning.”_

_“Yeah. Uh, barely noticeable.” Toni nods as she rests a hand on her small swell. “Is everything okay, Cheryl?”_

_“You have an appointment on Thursday, you get to hear the heartbeat.” Cheryl whispers. “I hope it’s loud, and soothing.”_

_“You’re going to be there.” Toni replies, and she can hear her own desperation. “You can tell me how strong it is.”_

_Cheryl glances down, “I’m not going.”_

_“Okay.” Toni nods. “That’s okay. There will be other appointments, like the gender reveal. I’ll just take a video so you can hear it when I get home. We can listen then, okay?”_

_“Toni…”_

_“We can have dinner, I’ll make your favorite. Whatever you want.” Toni pleads. “And we can take a huge bubble bath and listen to the sound of our baby’s heartbeat.”_

_“That’s not my baby.”_

_The words wash over Toni like the crash of an ocean, like a slap across the face. They’re so final, so sure. Toni looks at Cheryl and sees a coldness in her expression, a guard slowly rising to block away any effort to see the true emotions that flash in her gaze. Toni feels Cheryl slipping away, and there’s nothing she can do to hold on. With a hard swallow, she opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out. She doesn’t have the words that will make this better, that will make Cheryl want to stay beside her._

_“You’re breaking up with me…”_

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“You’re sorry?” Toni repeats as the bitter anger thrums through her. “You said that this is what you wanted, you begged me to stay.”_

_“I know.” Cheryl sighs as she takes a slow step towards Toni. “I know I did, and I shouldn’t have. We should’ve taken some time apart and worked through our problems.”_

_“You said we could do this, you said we could handle this.” Toni snaps as she thrusts a hard finger against Cheryl’s chest. “You said that as long as we were together, we could work through everything else.”_

_“I thought I could do this.” Cheryl whispers as she cups Toni’s cheek. “I really thought I could. But every time I look at you, I just picture you with him. So, I’m letting you go.”_

_Toni’s eyes well with tears, “Cheryl…”_

_“I don’t want to, but I have to.” Cheryl cuts in as her thumb brushes Toni’s tear away. “You and your baby deserve a wonderful, rich life. If I stay, I’ll only resent you and this child as time goes on. I’m trying to save us both the heartache, I’m trying to keep this child from feeling it.”_

_“But…”_

_“You’re going to be an amazing mother, Toni. This baby is so lucky to have you. And so was I.” Cheryl smiles as she leans down to press a soft kiss to Toni’s forehead. “Goodbye, Toni.”_

_Cheryl pulls away and the cold fills the space around her as Toni feels her knees go weak. She barely has time to turn and watch as Cheryl grabs a suitcase and leaves, and her heart shatters when brown eyes meet her own. With one last beautiful smile, Cheryl Blossom takes her final bow and exits Toni’s life._

 

Toni gasps as her memories are broken by a knock at the door. With a shake of her head, Toni sets her phone aside and hurries to open the door before the pounding can wake a napping Gavin. Immediately, the annoyance boils low in her gut as she is met with Jughead staring at her, and it takes her a moment to notice the vodka bottle that hangs loosely from his hand. She can smell the harsh stench of alcohol as he blows out a laugh and leans heavily against the frame of the doorway. With a hard swallow, Toni takes a small step back as dread runs through her veins; she never thought she’d ever be afraid of Jughead, but suddenly she is terrified.

 

“Jug…”

 

“I think we need to talk.” Jughead slurs.

 

Toni shakes her head, “No. Not when you’re like this. Go sober up, take a shower, brush your teeth, and then we can talk. Goodbye, Jughead.”

 

“I said we need to talk.” Jughead hisses as he slams a loud palm against the door to keep it from shutting. “Lemme in.”

 

With as much strength as she can muster, Toni pushes the door shut and rushes away from it to find her phone. Her hands are shaking as she desperately tries to put in her password before she is met with a picture of Cheryl smiling up at her. A sense of peace falls upon her for only a moment, but the sound of splintering wood breaks through it as a harsh sob builds in her chest. The door flies open moments later, and Toni barely has time to dial nine one one before Jughead is hurrying across the room to her.

 

Her last thought is _Gavin_.


	8. you can take this heart (heal it or break it all apart)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: My muse for this fic is burning strong!

“Ma’am, we can’t allow you…”

 

“I’m her lawyer. And this is…”

 

Cheryl seems to loom over the officer, “This is someone who loves that woman more than anything in this world. So, you’re going to step aside and let me into the goddamn apartment or so help me I will have your badge.”

 

“Cheryl!”

 

The raspy, desperate yell is enough for Cheryl and she easily slips her arm from the officer’s grip and races into the taped off apartment. For a moment, all she can do is skid to a stop and take in the wreckage; tables are upturned, picture frames are broken, the TV is smashed, and papers are scattered along the floor. Toni’s home isn’t her home any longer, its become a damn crime scene. With a harsh breath, Cheryl hurries to where an EMT is carefully looking over the cut on Toni’s forehead while Gavin stays firmly curled up in her lap and Betty squats down to look him over with worry in her gaze.

 

“Hey, baby,” Cheryl whispers. “I’m here, and so is Jason. He’s getting everything he can out of the officers right now.”

 

Toni sniffles, “Cheryl, my apartment.”

 

Cheryl glances over her shoulder with a small wince, “We can fix it up again, babe. You love shopping, we can redo the entire place if that’s what you want.”

 

“I want _you_.” Toni sniffles.

 

The words shatter Cheryl’s heart and she doesn’t care that the EMT gets fussy when she is shoved aside. All Cheryl cares about is that she has her arms wrapped around two of the most important people in her world, and they’re both okay. The scratches and bruises will heal, but she knows they have a long emotional road ahead of them. The only thing that she is thankful for is that Jughead is gone for now, he has crossed a huge line and Jason is going to insure he pays for it. Just at the thought of the damage he caused, Cheryl flutters her eyes shut and presses continuous kisses to Toni’s mused locks.

 

“We need to finish accessing her.” The EMT snaps.

 

Cheryl tenses, “I’m not…”

 

“Hey, come help me get some of their stuff together.” Betty orders, and Cheryl marvels over how calm she seems. “We should pack a few things to last her a few nights.”

 

Cheryl nervously looks at Toni, “Okay?”

 

“Go.” Toni orders.

 

With a reluctant glance over her shoulder, Cheryl allows Betty to latch onto her wrist and pull her through the wreckage of the living room. It’s almost too much for her to take it, everything is _destroyed._ The home that Toni built for herself and her son is in shambles and there’s nothing she can do about it. As soon as she ducks into Toni’s room, she hears a sniffle and her spine straightens as she looks over at Betty who is desperately trying to wipe away her falling tears. With a soft sound, Cheryl closes the distance between them and wraps her arms around the woman who’s knees go weak as she falls against her with a sob.

 

“She was so scared.” Betty cries, and Cheryl bites her lip to hold back her own tears. “There was so much screaming and I could hear Gavin crying, and then the phone just went dead…”

 

Cheryl sucks in a calming breath, “We have to be strong for her, okay? We can’t break down, we have to get her through this.”

 

“She shouldn’t be going through it at all.” Betty snaps. “She’s an amazing mother, Cheryl. She’s a damn good person. Why the hell do things keep falling apart for her?”

 

“I don’t know.” Cheryl admits with a nervous bite of her lip. “But we need to focus on right now, we can’t think about all the bad things. Just help me get some stuff packed.”

 

Cheryl goes through the motions of helping Betty get Gavin and Toni’s things together as they listen to the chatter happening a few rooms away. Her heart rate hasn’t slowed since she got the call from Betty an hour ago. There has only been a handful of times that Cheryl can remember ever feeling completely helpless, powerless and getting that call from Betty saying that Jughead _attacked_ Toni takes the number one place hold. As she drove desperately through the streets, all she could think was that she promised to spend the night at the apartment only to decide last minute to stay late at the office. She should’ve been here, she should’ve protected them. But she failed. She failed and now she is forced to see the consequences to that fuck up. Toni is in pieces, Gavin is blissfully unaware, and their home is a mess.

 

“They’re going to want to take them to be treated. She’ll probably have to stay overnight.” Betty warns as she shoulders a duffel bag. “Do you want me to stay with her?”

 

“No. No, I’ll go.” Cheryl nods.

 

“Okay. That will give me enough time to get the guest room set up for them.” Betty whispers. “I left Veronica sleeping so hopefully she’ll be okay with this. It’s kind of…a lot.”

 

“They’re trying.” Cheryl assures her as they follow the growing voices. “If it gets to be too much, she can always come stay with me.”

 

“We’re going to need to transport you, ma’am.”

 

“No. No. I’m fine.” Toni assures the paramedic as she tightens her grasp on Gavin. “ _We’re_ fine. It’s nothing, it just a scratch.”

 

“Hey, what are you doing?” Betty demands as she moves towards her best friend. “You’re going to the hospital to get checked out, alright? No arguing about this.”

 

Toni shakes her head, “I don’t want to.”

 

“TT, I won’t let them take you anywhere you don’t want to go.” Cheryl begins as she squats in front of the woman. “But you really do have a nasty cut on your head, and I want to make sure that beautiful brain hasn’t been scrambled.”

 

“But...Gavin?”

 

“He’ll stay with you.” Cheryl assures her. “I won’t let them take him away, okay? If they want to check him over, I’ll have Jason insure that he can stay with you at all times.”

 

Toni blinks her tears away, “Promise?”

 

“I promise.”

 

-

 

Cheryl paces through the hospital room and listens to the soft breaths of Toni and Gavin as they sleep. They’re waiting on discharge papers, and Cheryl is more than happy to let them sleep off this entire night; she wishes she could erase it from their minds entirely. With a sigh, Cheryl rubs at her forehead and barely pays any mind to her caller ID when it vibrates in her hand. It isn’t till she hears her brother’s strong voice that her chest locks up and everything seems to hit her at once; everything from that moment the phone call from Betty came to the moment she had to sit by and watch them stitch up Toni’s cuts.

 

_“How are they?”_

 

“Asleep.” Cheryl whispers. “Finally.”

 

_“I spoke with the officer assigned to this case, and I’m putting this down in the file for the courts to look over. Because of this, she’ll at least be able to get temporary custody of Gavin.”_

 

Cheryl breathes out in relief, “Thank God.”

 

_“Don’t get too excited, it’s only temporary. And while this will work well in her favor for permanent custody, I wish it didn’t come to this. She doesn’t deserve it, no one deserves this. If I could get my hands on him…”_

 

“Get in line, JJ. You’re not the only one who’d like to absolutely destroy that man child.” Cheryl hisses. “I can’t believe he would be stupid enough to do something so reckless.”

 

_“How are you holding up, kiddo?”_

 

“I’m...processing it. Toni and I are only a few weeks into whatever we’re doing.” Cheryl points out. “I want so badly to lock her away until all of this is fixed, but I know it’s going to be a long road until that happens.”

 

_“Hey, all she needs right now is you. She doesn’t need to be locked up, she just needs to know that she has you in her corner.”_

 

“She does.”

 

_“Then that’s all that matters right now, okay? Focus on getting her out of their and to Betty’s. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Take care of Toni. I love you, Cheryl.”_

 

Cheryl smiles softly, “Thank you. I love you, too.”

 

“Cheryl?”

 

“Hey, you.” Cheryl whispers as she quickly ends her phone call with Jason to cross the room. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Emotionally and physically exhausted.” Toni admits with a wince. “I was hoping that when I woke up that everything would’ve been a bad dream.”

 

“I wish, Toni.” Cheryl sighs as she slowly approaches the bed. “Toni, I am _so_ sorry I wasn’t there with you and GJ. I should’ve been home, protected you from that son of a bitch.”

 

“I’m glad you weren’t there.” Toni admits as she shifts Gavin in her arms. “He was so drunk that he barely made any sense, and then he just started hitting things. He picked up a picture frame of us and threw it at the wall, the glass shattered and that’s how I got cut.”

 

Cheryl flexes her jaw, “I swear I will _kill_ him. When Betty called me, my heart stopped. She sounded so panicked and choked up, and she told me how the cops wouldn’t let her up. I grabbed my keys and sped to your place.”

 

“He grabbed Gavin.” Toni whimpers, and Cheryl immediately drops her gaze to the boy. “He picked him up so recklessly and GJ looked so... _small._  So helpless. So, I snapped. I got Gavin back, put him in his rocker, and just started hitting. I had managed to call the cops right before things got too intense, but they took _so_ long.”

 

Cheryl swallows harshly, “Toni…”

 

“Cheryl, I was in a motorcycle _gang_ but I have never been as scared as I was tonight. He pushed the door open like it weighed nothing, and he just wouldn’t stop yelling.” Toni rasps, and a tear trails down her cheek. “I was afraid he was going to hurt Gavin or take him.”

 

“Hey, don’t cry.” Cheryl soothes. “You’re okay, babe. I promise. I talked to Jason and he’s already had a conversation with the detective assigned to your case, I promise Jughead won’t come near you for awhile.”

 

“He ruined my home. He ruined Gavin’s safe place. He said he wanted what was best for our son, and he took away his home. How could he do that?” Toni sniffles. “What am I going to do, Cheryl? I can’t take him back there.”

 

“Of course, babe. That’s why you’re going to stay with Betty for awhile.” Cheryl whispers as she brushes a strand of hair from Toni’s eyes. “It’s a temporary solution to a shitty situation, but we all want to be able to keep you safe.”

 

“But…”

 

“You can argue until you can’t breathe, but we’ve already decided on this.” Cheryl shrugs. “Betty is off for the next few days so you won’t be alone, and I’ll be popping in and out.”

 

Toni sighs heavily, “Have you called Sweets?”

 

“Betty did, and then Sweet Pea called Fangs. They’re waiting for Jughead to get out. They want to, and this is a direct quote, give him a quick transfer from the big house to the morgue.” Cheryl chuckles. “They wanted to come see you, but I told them you were getting discharged soon.”

 

“What happens now?” Toni asks in a soft whisper as she glances down at Gavin. “Does...what is Jason planning to do?”

 

“I don’t know.” Cheryl admits. “He’s going to talk to a few colleges and draw up some ideas, but he was talking about temporary custody. If that happens then Jughead will only be allowed to see Gavin through supervised visitations.”

 

Toni sniffles, “Why is this happening? This isn’t what I wanted for him, I just wanted to keep him safe. I wanted him to have a good life.”

 

“Toni,” Cheryl begins in a soft voice. “Do you love him?”

 

“Of course!” Toni scoffs.

 

“Do you plan to always protect him?”

 

“Without question.”

 

Cheryl smiles softly as she watches Toni look down at her son, “Is he number one in your heart? In your mind? In your _soul_?”

 

“Yeah.” Toni breathes out. “He is.”

 

“Then he already has a good life, he has the _best_ life. Things are a little messed up right now, but they’re going to get better.” Cheryl assures her. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but his life is good. You’re giving him a good life, TT.”

 

Toni looks up with wide eyes, “Do you mean that?”

 

“Yeah. Yeah, of course I do. You’re an amazing mom. You love him with every piece of yourself, Toni. It’s so beautiful to watch.” Cheryl smiles. “I know what you look like when you’re in love, but I’ve never seen you look so at peace. Not like how you are with Gavin.”

 

“After you left, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I felt so...empty.” Toni admits. “And then I looked down at my baby bump and I didn’t feel so alone. I knew I had someone. But you? You didn’t have anyone, and I’m so sorry for that.”

 

“I had Veronica and Jason.” Cheryl points out. “I’m glad you had Gavin, Toni. The life you have with him is exactly what I wanted for you, but I knew I wasn’t ready to be a part of it.”

 

Toni dances her gaze over Cheryl’s face, “And what about now? Do you...are you ready to be a part of this now?”

 

A knock breaks them from their spell, and Cheryl pulls away from Toni and smooths her clothes as the doctor comes in. Toni is immediately pulled away from her by her utter eagerness to sign herself free of the hospital, and Cheryl simply watches her with a small smile. Cheryl wishes she could’ve told Toni that the word _yes_ was sitting on the tip of her tongue.

 

-

 

“V, are there clean sheets up here?”

 

“Yeah. In the closet right by the guest bedroom. Use the cream colored ones!” Veronica calls from downstairs. “Actually, scratch that. Use the burgundy. It’ll look better.”

 

“Okay, babe.”

 

Betty sighs as she swings the closet doors open and scans over their multiple sheet options before she finds the ones Veronica suggested. She only has so long before Cheryl is due to drop Toni and Gavin off, and she feels like there’s a million things that need to be done. Much to her surprise, her wife is downstairs baking while she was given the job of getting the guest bedroom ready and setting up the bassinet. It’s going to be surreal, having Toni with her again. College was the last time they were forced to share a space, and it was a good four years but this is different. This isn’t college, this is real life; her best friend can’t go home because her home is a crime scene.

 

_“Betty? Betty! Help!”_

 

A shudder rolls down her spine as she wanders into the guest bedroom and begins to set up the sheets on the mattress. She wishes she could empty her brain of the thoughts currently swirling through it, they’re all so dark. All she can think about is Toni, about what Jughead did. She doesn’t understand how things have turned out this way. When her best friend found out she was pregnant, Betty remembers a spark of excitement in her eyes and then the devastation. But she also remembers Toni trying to assure her that Jughead was a good guy; and now look where that _good guy_ had landed her.

 

_“Betty, please. Please hurry.”_

 

The voice fades away as Betty folds a blanket and rests it on the end of the guest bed. She has mostly everything set up for Toni, the only thing left is to move the bassinet into the bedroom. As she works, she can’t seem to get the sound of Toni’s cries out of her head. She can hear the glass shattering, hear the splintering wood of things being upturned, and hear Toni’s terrified sobs as she begged Jughead to leave. It’s all their, playing on a constant loop in her head that she knows won’t silence itself for awhile.

 

_“Jughead, no! Please! No!”_

 

A single tear trails down Betty’s cheek as she squeezes her eyes shut and finds herself falling back on the bed as her knees grow weak. She has never driven so fast before, her car had ripped through the streets as she frantically tried to get to Toni’s side. She hadn’t cared about anything other than stopping Jughead from touching a hair on Toni’s head, she hadn’t even stopped to think about herself. All she knew was that her best friend was in trouble, and she had dropped everything to be beside her. Another tear falls as Betty presses her face into her hands and finally allows a sob to slip free.

 

_“Betty, please! I-I don’t know...Jughead, no!”_

 

The sight of red and blue lights had sucked every bit of air from her lungs. She remembers rushing through bodies and slamming into an officer who tried to get her to stay back, but she refused. Betty used all of that hidden strength that everyone figures she lacks, and managed to slip free of his grasp. After that, everything seems to be a blur. She can remember bits of slamming her finger against the elevator buttons, she remembers stumbling over her footing, and she briefly remembers clinging to the doorway of Toni’s apartment door and feeling rage roll through her at the sight of Jughead being handcuffed.

 

“B?”

 

Betty looks up slowly, “H-Hey. Sorry. I was just getting clean sheets for Toni, I’ll help with the bassinet in a second.”

 

“The bassinet can wait, baby.” Veronica whispers as she crosses the room. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

 

“It’s stupid.” Betty frowns as her eyes flutter shut, and she immediately leans into Veronica’s touch as she wipes a tear away. “I was just...I was thinking about last night.”

 

“That isn’t stupid.” Veronica assures her as she climbs onto the bed and scoots back to lean against the pillows. “Come here, baby.”

 

Betty sniffles as she scoots back between Veronica’s legs and curls into her, “I was so scared, V. She sounded terrified. What if he would’ve just…”

 

“Don’t. Don’t go there.” Veronica whispers as she nuzzles against blonde locks. “You don’t need to have those kinds of thoughts in your head. It’s okay. I promise. We’ll take care of her and Gavin, it’s gonna be okay.”

 

“Veronica, there was so much blood.” Betty breathes out. “I know head wounds tend to bleed the most, but it was _everywhere_. It was all over Gavin, and all over the floor. She looked like a fucking wreck.”

 

“I know, B. I know you can’t get the image out of your head, but you have to try.” Veronica pleads with small squeeze. “If you look at Toni with pity, she’s going to leave. You know her, she has too much pride.”

 

Betty gives a small laugh, “You two have more in common than either of you like to admit, you’re the same way.”

 

“We just have to be there for her, help her with Gavin without smothering her.” Veronica sighs. “I know these next few weeks are going to be rough, and court is going to suck.”

 

“I’m hoping Jason can get something filed, maybe she won’t have to go to court.” Betty frowns. “He _attacked_ her. He trespassed.”

 

“Honey, lets leave all that to Jason.” Veronica offers. “Right now, I just want to focus on making you feel better. It breaks my heart seeing you like this, B.”

 

Betty heaves a breath, “I don’t think anything will help right now, V.”

 

“What if I made you a strawberry shake? Extra whip cream and three cherries?” Veronica hums as she presses kisses to Betty’s shoulder. “I won’t even sneak any of it.”

 

“Can I have chocolate _and_ strawberry?”

 

“You can have a million different flavors if that’s what you want.” Veronica smiles. “I’ll open my own shake shack just to make sure my beloved gets her fill of ice cream.”

 

“We need to get the bassinet…”

 

“Toni just got discharged twenty minutes ago so we have another hour or so, I think you have time for a shake.” Veronica assures her. “I’m sure you don’t want to be in pieces when she gets here.”

 

“You’re right.” Betty nods. “I need to be strong.”

 

“Yes, yes you do.” Veronica chuckles.

 

“My best friend needs me to be strong and sturdy for her, and the only way I’ll achieve that is by sucking down a shake.” Betty declares with a dramatic tilt of her chin. “A shake made by New York’s cutest woman.”

 

Veronica shakes her head, “You’re so weird.”

 

“Yet you happily agreed to marry me. No questions asked, no hesitation.” Betty points out. “So, you signed up for this.”

 

“But did I really?” Veronica hums.

 

Betty melts at the adorable way Veronica narrows her eyes, “You did. You definitely did. I think I remember you saying that you’d accept my weirdness and dorkiness, it was right there in your beautiful vows.”

 

“I think you’re talking about another wedding, B. Must’ve been your first wife.” Veronica shrugs as she untangles herself from Betty. “And here I thought you had moved on.”

 

“Hey!” Betty scoffs as she wraps her arms around Veronica to pull her back. “You are my _only_ wife, and you always will be. There’s no way I’m ever moving on from you.”

 

“Such a charmer.” Veronica whispers as she presses her fingertips to Betty’s chin to guide her head upwards. “Still want that shake?”

 

“Mhm.” Betty smiles.

 

Veronica pecks her lips softly, “Then come on.”

 

“Damn, baby,” Betty purrs, and she adds a sloppy wink to her words as Veronica jumps up to walk away. “You got a burger with that shake.”

 

“Elizabeth Cooper-Lodge!” Veronica gasps.

 

Betty giggles, “Too much?”

 

“Come on, beautiful,” Veronica smirks as she adds an extra swing to her hips. “If you behave, I’ll let you put the whip cream on something other than your shake.”

 

Betty smiles as the loop in her head slowly turns from Toni’s frantic voice to the sound of Veronica’s squeals and laughter. She knows the loop will come back to haunt her, but right now all she wants to focus on is Veronica ordering her to get her ass off the bed and into the kitchen.

 

-

 

“Well, you look like shit.”

 

Jughead lifts his head, “What are you doing here?”

 

“Oh, just wanted to see where your processing was. Looks like you’ll be in here for another few hours, bud.” Jason chuckles. “I guess that’s what happens when you do stupid things.”

 

“Yeah. Rub it in.” Jughead growls.

 

“What were you thinking?”

 

Jughead scoffs and drops his head, “Clearly I wasn’t really thinking.”

 

“Clearly.” Jason nods. “The fact that you barged into Toni’s apartment, physically broke down her door, and put your hands on her…”

 

“I didn’t touch her.” Jughead argues.

 

“So, when you kicked in her door and approached her in an aggressive manner, did you intend to play patty cake?” Jason asks as he tilts his head in mock confusion. “And when you threw things around were you expecting her to catch them?”

 

“Enough.” Jughead orders. “I regret what happened. I drank too much and I let my anger get the best of me. I don’t even know what’s happening to me, I’m not a drinker.”

 

Jason hums, “Well, you were last night and you put Toni in the hospital. So, I think it’s safe to say that you’re better far, _far_ away from her son. She deserves custody.”

 

Jughead flies off the beach to curl his hands around the bars of the cell, “He’s _my_ kid too. I’m not just going to walk away from him, he needs me. I’m his father.”

 

“And look what a wonderful job you’re doing, Jughead.” Jason scoffs. “He’s an infant, and you could’ve very easily hurt him. You’re not fit to have custody of him.”

 

“I’m his _father_!”

 

“Just because he shares your DNA doesn’t mean that you have a right to see him. You have the right to love him, to want to be with him, but you don’t have the right for visitations.” Jason snaps. “You cause too much damage, you could’ve seriously hurt Toni. The judge has already agreed to give her temporary custody.”

 

“I’ll fight it.” Jughead warns.

 

“Good. Fight for your kid. But get your shit together before you do.” Jason orders. “Toni doesn’t want to push you out of Gavin’s life, but she will if she feels like it’ll benefit him in the long run.”

 

“Oh, so Cheryl can take my place?” Jughead snorts. “Is she going to become the new daddy my son has to look up to?”

 

“You’re about to cross a line that I would advise you don’t.” Jason hisses. “Leave my sister out of this, she has nothing to do with it.”

 

“She has _everything_ to do with it and you know that. She’s the reason this is happening, she’s the reason Toni is distant.” Jughead grumbles. “She’s had Toni messed up since she walked away.”

 

“And that’s not Cheryl’s fault.” Jason drawls. “I know you want to believe that Toni has some type of romantic attraction to you, but she doesn’t. She’s in love with Cheryl. She always has been and she always will be.”

 

Jughead grinds his teeth, “So I saw.”

 

“I don’t know what you expected. You knew exactly what you were getting in the middle of.” Jason reminds him. “You chose to approach Toni that night and you should’ve known that they would eventually find their way back to each other.”

 

“Like destiny?” Jughead spits out.

 

“Something like that.” Jason shrugs. “But I’m not here to talk about that. I’m here to discuss the fact that you now have a restraining order that will keep you away from Toni, which by extension means Gavin as well.”

 

“ _What_?”

 

“Did you expect to walk away from this with a slap on the wrist?” Jason demands. “You _assaulted_ the mother of your child, Jughead. You should’ve respected the boundaries she put up.”

 

“I...I just wanted to see my son!” Jughead protests as his face darkens in anger. “She’s kept him locked away from me, she doesn’t have the right to do that. You can’t tell me that you’d let your wife keep your kids away if you wanted to see them.”

 

“I would protect my son and daughter until my last breath, and I would _always_ put their needs before my wants.” Jason snaps. “If they need space then that’s what they get, no matter what _I_ want. And if Polly asked me to give them space then I would because she’s the mother of my children, she knows what’s best for them.”

 

“But…”

 

“It’s called respect.” Jason cuts in. “You claim to be so in love with Toni yet you attack her, physically and mentally, at every turn.”

 

“I’m not...I don’t mean to _attack_ her. I don’t ever want to hurt her.” Jughead mumbles, and he clenches his jaw at Jason’s scoff. “I just want her to listen to me, I want her to respect _me._ ”

 

Jason shakes his head, “She does. Or she did. She respected you enough to tell you about Gavin, she respected you enough to allow you to see him as much as you please, and she respected you enough not to call the cops when you didn’t bring Gavin home on your scheduled time.”

 

“Oh, and so she respects me now? She respects me so much that she wants _sole_ custody of our son.” Jughead sneers. “Yeah, that is so much respect. I truly appreciate it.”

 

A buzz catches Jason’s attention and he hums in acknowledgment, “She’s trying to protect Gavin. She’s his _mother._ Now, I have to go. Sober up and get your shit together, Jones. Maybe then you’ll have a fighting chance with this.”

 

Jason smirks at the way Jughead collapses back into the wall before he turns to leave. He wants Jughead to think, to realize that the damage he’s caused can’t be undone. His back is straight and his head is held high as he leaves the police department with the silent knowledge that this is going to be a pretty much open and closed case, a fight that has already been won; Jughead doesn’t stand a fighting chance. And while Jason is happy about a part of it, another part of him feels a pinch of pity for the man who is now sat defeated and lonely in an empty jail cell.

 

-

 

“Lemme take the baby!”

 

“Betts, don’t be clingy.” Toni pleads even as she hands Gavin off to her best friend. “And don’t treat me like glass, I’m fine.”

 

“I know you are, I just wanted to make sure my godson was.” Betty coos as she looks him over with a pout. “Are you okay, my darling? Do you have any boo boos?”

 

“He’s good. Doctor checked him over, and all he has is a little scratch.” Cheryl replies as she hauls a suitcase behind her. “I’d definitely like to put a little more than a scratch on Jughead, but something tells me my brother has that covered.”

 

“Thank God for him.” Betty breathes out.

 

“Speaking of Jason, Polly called and the kids want to stop by and see Gavin.” Veronica chirps as she smiles at the child. “And Sweet Pea has been blowing up my phone along with Fangs, so _please_ text them back.”

 

Toni flinches, “Sorry, Ronnie.”

 

“It’s not your fault, they’re just worried. Sweet Pea says he basically has Raven and the baby on lockdown, and Fangs is doing the same with Kevin and the boys.” Veronica sighs. “I don’t blame them, I don’t want Betty leaving my side.”

 

Betty smiles as she leans down to press a kiss to Veronica’s forehead, “I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me.”

 

“Well, while you two stick together, I’d like to put this suitcase somewhere.” Cheryl groans, and Toni winces in sympathy. “Is it cool if I take it and Toni up to get comfortable?”

 

Veronica nods immediately, “Of course.”

 

“Thank you. For letting me stay. If it gets to be too much then please tell me, there’s nice hotels that GJ and I can crash at.” Toni assures them with a small smile.

 

“I’m not letting you sleep in a hotel.” Veronica scoffs as she ushers Toni forward. “Go get cleaned up and comfortable.”

 

Toni smiles softly, “Okay.”

 

“Ah, ah. We want the baby.” Betty protests as soon as Toni opens her arms. “Go with Cheryl, we’ll keep an eye on him.”

 

“Promise?”

 

Betty softens in sadness at the desperation in Toni’s voice, “I promise you that nothing is going to happen, Toni. We got him.”

 

Toni nods hesitantly as she steals one last glance at her son before Cheryl is leading her away and up the stairs. The exhaustion hits her as soon as she crosses the threshold and she sees the large king sized bed waiting for her. It’s so inviting, so warm, and Toni can’t help but fall back into it as she eagerly squirms upon the mattress until she is comfortable. A few feet away, Cheryl laughs at the sight of her before she sets the suitcase aside and hurries to stand guard at Toni’s side.

 

“Are you comfortable?” Cheryl asks as she hovers over Toni. “Do you want me to get you another blanket? More pillows?”

 

Toni rolls her eyes, “I’m fine.”

 

“Do you want some water? Are you hungry? Should I get you an ice pack?” Cheryl demands with a dip of a frown. “I don’t know what to do, you’re the nurse not me.”

 

“And as a certified nurse, I’m telling you to chill out. I’m perfectly fine.” Toni giggles as she pats the mattress. “All I want is for you to come sit down with me for a little bit.”

 

Cheryl hesitates, “You’re ready to talk.”

 

It isn’t a question because Cheryl already knows the answer. All the avoiding, all the promises of later, have finally stacked up and it’s time to lay it all on the table. Cheryl can feel her heart beating heavily in her chest as she slowly crawls onto the bed and settles beside Toni. The air feels so heavy, and she hates the awkwardness that grows; they’ve never been the awkward type, from the moment they met. Toni clears her throat and Cheryl looks up at her, and suddenly the questions are already bubbling in her throat.

 

“Did you love him?”

 

Toni gaps, “Jughead?”

 

“Yes. Did you...did you love him?” Cheryl asks.

 

“Not in the way you’re thinking.” Toni replies with a shake of her head. “I love him for giving me my son, but I’ve never been _in_ love with him. And I never will be.”

 

Cheryl bites her lip, “Okay.”

 

“Can I ask you something?” Toni mutters.

 

“Of course.” Cheryl chirps, but she cringes how eager she sounds. “This is _our_ talk, I think we both are allowed to ask whatever we want. Don’t be afraid, okay?”

 

“Why did you leave?” Toni asks. “Why didn’t you walk away as soon as you found out that I was pregnant with his kid?”

 

“Because I loved you.” Cheryl shrugs. “I loved you so much that for a little bit I thought it’d be okay, I thought it wouldn’t matter that the baby wasn’t _ours_. But then Jughead started coming around more, started wanting to play a bigger part, and that terrified me.”

 

Toni reaches towards her, “Why?”

 

“Gavin is his child, Toni.” Cheryl scoffs as she intertwines their fingers. “I could see how much he wanted to be a part of his child’s life and I knew he wasn’t going anywhere. And...I saw the way he looked at you. The way he’s _always_ looked at you, since that stupid company picnic.”

 

“What does that…?”

 

“You wanted a family, you’ve always wanted a family. You came from such a rough life and I knew how badly you craved having a child and giving them everything you didn’t have.” Chery sighs. “I just thought...I figured you’d have that life once you got over me.”

 

“You expected me to have that life with Jughead? To fall in love with him?” Toni sneers, and a laugh breaks free at Cheryl’s nod. “Cheryl, no. No. Never. I could _never._ I couldn’t fall in love with someone else even if I tried. I’ve met my soulmate, and I don’t intend to look for another.”

 

Cheryl softens as she lifts Toni’s hand to her lips to kiss her knuckles, “And what would you have done if this second chance wouldn’t have been offered, huh? Live alone forever?”

 

“I’d have Gavin.” Toni shrugs, and Cheryl simply rolls her eyes. “And eventually he’d convince me to buy a puppy so we’d have a puppy, and I’d probably get some fish.”

 

“You’re ridiculous.” Cheryl giggles.

 

“Yeah, but that’s one of the reasons you absolutely adore me.” Toni smirks, but the expression dies away a moment later. “I can see on your face that you have more questions. So, ask them. You deserve the answers.”

 

“Why him? Why Jughead?” Cheryl demands.

 

Cheryl sees Toni pause, sees the way she curls into herself. She knows Toni isn’t proud of what happened, she knows Toni wishes it could’ve been someone other than a man that approached her at a company picnic and asked for her number. Cheryl knows that Toni has regrets, but she also knows that Toni is grateful. Gavin is the product of that night, he’s the reason why Toni shines as bright as she does. So, Cheryl doesn’t feel as much anger towards the situation knowing an innocent child is involved, but all she wants to knows it the answer to _why._

 

“He was there. It could’ve been anyone, I would’ve settled for anyone. In my head, I prayed you’d walk through the door and I’d remember exactly where I belonged.” Toni rasps. “But you didn’t, and he was there. He kept saying all the right things and buying me drinks.”

 

Cheryl clenches her jaw, “So, he got you drunk?”

 

“He did. But what happened...it was consensual. Even if I wasn’t in the right state of mind, I wanted to...I wanted to feel _something_.” Toni admits. “And for those seven minutes, I did.”

 

“Seven minutes?” Cheryl scowls. “He lasted _seven_ minutes and he managed to get you pregnant? That is...insane.”

 

Toni gives a bitter chuckle, “I know.”

 

“I’m sorry. For everything.” Cheryl murmurs as she glances down to her lap. “I’m sorry that I hurt you, that I caused this and…”

 

“It wasn’t _you_.” Toni cuts in. “You weren’t the reason why I slept with someone else, Cheryl. It was _me._ I was angry and I just wanted to feel like someone needed me, I wanted to feel good about myself. I wanted to be _wanted_.”

 

Cheryl shakes her head, “Then how can you say that it wasn’t me? Toni, I stopped making you feel wanted. I stopped making you feel special. _I_ asked for us to take a break, that was me being selfish because I didn’t want to feel guilty anymore.”

 

“I should’ve just talked you. If I would’ve talked to you then none of this would be happening, we wouldn’t be where we are.” Toni points out. “I should’ve fought harder when the idea of a break came up, I should’ve said no.”

 

“I never should’ve said what I said. I should’ve sat down with you and talked it through.” Cheryl adds in. “I should’ve done a million things differently, but I didn’t. And I’m _so_ sorry.”

 

“It sounds like we should’ve done a lot of things differently. But we didn’t.” Toni frowns. “And we can’t change the past, what’s done is done. All that matters now is moving on, deciding where we stand with each other.”

 

Cheryl scowls, “What do you mean?”

 

“I have a child and I’m about to put myself through hell trying to get custody of said child.” Toni reminds her. “I don’t want you to think you have to get stuck in the middle of all of that.”

 

“Hey, wherever you are then I’m there too.” Cheryl shrugs. “I’m not going to lie and say that things are going to be perfect, but know that what I need is right here in front of me and I refuse to let it go again.”

 

“I don’t want to let you go either.”

 

Cheryl grins as she reaches up to cup Toni’s jaw before she sweeps a thumb over her lips, “Then I guess we know where we stand.”

 

“I don’t think we should just jump into this. We’ve established that we love each other, but we shouldn’t rush it.” Toni murmurs as she leans into Cheryl’s hand. “I want to appreciate you, get to know you all over again.”

 

“I can deal with that.” Cheryl hums, and she finds herself slowly moving forward. “But right now all I want to do is kiss you.”

 

“What’s stopping you?”

 

Cheryl leans forward and Toni meet her halfway because she wants this, she _needs_ Cheryl. The moment their lips meet, her blood sings as it runs through her body and her heart thuds in an attempt to break itself free from her chest. Her body comes alive as Cheryl cups her cheeks and shifts on the bed so she can deepen the kiss, so she can breathe Toni in. Cheryl groans as Toni’s tongue parts her lips and her small hands skin down her body, over her breasts and moving to rest on her ribs. She gets lost in the feeling of being this close to Toni again, lost in the way thumbs move in slow circles over the soft fabric of her shirt just beneath her breast. They both want more, they both thrum with an energy that has been compacted since they parted ways.

 

Cheryl whimpers as Toni bites down on her lower lip and soothes the ache with a gentle sweep of her tongue. Her hands run over Toni’s back as the woman sits up in the bed, and her fingertips hesitate as soon as they meet the soft material of the joggers Toni is wearing. Her fingertips dip dangerously close to edging their way inside, and her body screams for her to do it. To claim Toni. To kiss her until she can’t breathe. But she feels hands settle over her own and Cheryl groans in sadness as Toni pulls away and looks at her with an expression of sympathy and amusement.

 

“I think we should probably slow down.”

 

Cheryl scans over Toni’s swollen lips, “Okay.”

 

“We should go downstairs.” Toni suggests even as she edges closer to Cheryl. “I don’t want them to have to feed Gavin, it isn’t pretty.”

 

“Yeah. You’re probably right.” Cheryl hums as she drags her lips over Toni’s. “And Ronnie is going to come looking for us soon.”

 

Toni captures her lips for a brief moment, “Betty is going to force feed me a pain killer so we should save her from having to walk into something she can unsee.”

 

Cheryl forgets to breath as soon as soft lips brush against hers again, and then a full bottom lip slips between her own and she’s gone again. All she can think of is how in love with this woman she is, how easy it is to remember that when Toni is kissing her with so much adoration. Her eyes flutter shut as every cliche happens when tiny hands cup her waist and draw her closer. She’s thankful that she’s already on the bed because her knees go weak, the butterflies release themselves, fireworks light up her veins, and her heart rate jumps to something so dangerous that she’s afraid her heart might explode. She’s just so _happy._ She has Toni back in her arms, she’s _home_.

 

As the kiss deepens, Toni’s arms curl around her neck and Cheryl traces curves she knows like the barcodes on her favorite Vogue issues. And then they hear a sharp giggle and they both fall away from each other. Toni swallows hard as she ghosts a hand over her lips while Cheryl grins and reaches out to push a stray strand of hair behind Toni’s ear. She wants to keep this woman in this moment forever, but she hears another giggle and she knows where they need to be. Cheryl slips off the bed and offers her hand to Toni, and she beams excitedly as soon as fingers intertwine with her own as they head downstairs where Betty and Veronica are allowing Gavin to roll between them with one of his pack-n-plays.

 

“Well, look what we have here.” Veronica drawls.

 

“You two look like teenagers who just got caught making out behind the bleachers.” Betty teases as she braces a hand on Gavin. “Is it safe to say you two did some talking?”

 

Cheryl squeezes Toni’s hand, “We did.”

 

“We did _a lot_ of talking.” Toni nods as she slowly releases Cheryl to gather Gavin. “We’ve agreed to take things slow.”

 

“Good idea.” Veronica and Betty chirp.

 

Toni smiles as she approaches with Gavin on her hip, “What do you think, little bird? Is Cheryl cool enough to hang out with us?”

 

“He said yes.” Cheryl shrugs as soon as Gavin reaches out towards her. “Look at this, I have two tiny Topaz babies loving me.”

 

“Are you implying I’m a baby?” Toni scoffs.

 

“Maybe I am.” Cheryl smirks before she twirls with Gavin in her embrace. “How are you doing, funny bunny? Somebody is looking quite handsome. How is that even possible? I just saw you an hour ago, GJ!”

 

Gavin gurgles and kicks in her arms, and Toni watches on with wide, adoring eyes. She swears she sees every bit of her future in the pair before her, and it warms her heart. A few feet away, Cheryl settles a kiss to Gavin’s head as the little boy sticks his fist in his mouth only to pull it free and press it to Cheryl’s cheek. With a grin, Cheryl shifts Gavin in her arms and moves the hand from her cheek before she wipes the tiny, sticky fingers against her blouse.

 

“Bunny, you have to stop sucking your fist. Sounds good, right?” Cheryl furrows her brow as Gavin coos in response. “I know, I know. I’m sure it tastes good, but you have a million pacifiers and I think you’re probably better off with one of those.”

 

“I’ll grab him one!” Betty calls.

 

Veronica stumbles her feet, “I’ll help.”

 

Betty giggles as she pulls her wife towards the kitchen where the diaper bag is waiting. The pair peek back into the living room to watch as Toni moves to curl her arms around Cheryl waist as they both talk to Gavin. Veronica sniffles at how beautiful the trio is, how _happy_ Cheryl looks as she receives a quick peck from Toni. They look like the family Cheryl has been dreaming about since Toni came crashing into her life. Just as a tear falls, she feels gentle lips against her hairline and she leans back into her wife.

 

“You’re crying…”

 

“Hormones.” Veronica groans.

 

Betty laughs softly into her hair, “I take it we’re not telling them yet.”

 

“No.” Veronica whispers as she watches Cheryl lift Gavin over head while Toni laughs. “I think we can wait for a little bit.”


	9. it’s you and me (it’ll always be you and me)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I was not feeling this chapter at all, but I liked enough parts of it to convince myself to post it. I hope y’all enjoy it.

“Cheryl, he doesn’t need anymore clothes…”

 

“What? One can never have too many outfits, TT. He needs an outfit for every occasion.” Cheryl scoffs as she opens the door of the boutique. “I know this place is amazing.”

 

Toni looks around in amusement, “It may be amazing, but it definitely isn’t in our price range. Target is about as high as we’ll go.”

 

“Well, it’s a good thing _you’re_ not paying.” Cheryl hums, and she holds a hand up as Toni begins to protest. “It’s my treat, Toni. And I’m selfishly here for myself, they have adorable thrift outfits that I’ve been _dying_ to look through.”

 

“You gonna model for me?” Toni smirks.

 

Cheryl leans down to rest their foreheads together as she smiles, “I can definitely model a few skirts for you. If you behave.”

 

“Consider me to be a saint then.” Toni whispers as she arches her head to peck Cheryl’s smile. “Lead the way, princess.”

 

“I was thinking a few button ups for him.” Cheryl beams as she pulls away. “And possibly an assortment of printed leggings, they go a long way with a button up.”

 

“Cher, he’s only eight months.” Toni reminds her with an amused laugh. “Don’t you think you should save the button ups for when he’s able to keep his clothes clean?”

 

“Nonsense. What if you have an outing to attend or a dinner party? You’ll be able to keep him comfortable while making sure his fashion is suitable for the event.” Cheryl explains. “We can always go for decorative t-shirts.”

 

“How about I just let you decide?” Toni chuckles as she pushes the stroller behind Cheryl. “You’re kind of the expert here.”

 

“He’s _your_ child, TT,” Cheryl reminds her. “You should have a say in what he does or doesn’t wear. I’m merely making suggestions.”

 

“I like your suggestions. Don’t we like all her suggestions, baby?” Toni smirks as she leans over the hood of the stroller to check on Gavin. “I don’t know if you heard, but he said yes.”

 

Cheryl pauses at a shelf and looks to Toni with an amused glint in her gaze, “Ah, just like his mother. I have him whipped.”

 

“Hey, you can’t blame us. We have a weakness for pretty girls, especially if their names start with a C and rhymes with barrel.” Toni shrugs. “It’s like a basic DNA string in our body.”

 

“You’re too much.” Cheryl giggles, but her face sobers as she holds up a green button up. “I dare you to tell me he wouldn’t look absolutely darling in this during the holidays.”

 

Toni sighs heavily and smiles, “What did I tell you? You decide. I will happily agree with whatever you choose for him.”

 

“And that’s why you are the apple of my eye, my darling.” Cheryl chirps as she reaches out to tap a finger on Toni’s nose. “Shall we continue?”

 

“We shall.”

 

Toni pushes the stroller through the multiple sections of the boutique and hums when necessary but mostly allows Cheryl to scoop through different shirts and leggings. Cheryl is gabbering on about a t-shirt while Toni is crouched in front of her son and offering him a pacifier when a shadow looms over them. Immediately, Toni feels the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as she readies herself for whatever is about to happen. Much to her surprise and relief, she raises her head to see an older woman clutching her hand bag and looking from her, to the stroller, and to where Cheryl lingers nearby.

 

“He’s beautiful.” The woman smiles. “How old?”

 

“Thank you so much, I happen to think he’s quite beautiful as well.” Toni beams. “He just turned eight months a week ago.”

 

The woman nods, “That’s a fun time.”

 

“Tell me about it, all the crawling.” Cheryl snorts as she approaches the little huddle. “I absolutely _love_ that he’s into grabbing hair.”

 

The woman pauses as she observes them and Toni tenses as she sees the realization strike in soft blue eyes, “You have a beautiful family.”

 

Toni opens her mouth just as Cheryl cuts in, “We really appreciate that. Thank you so much. Have a great day.”

 

“Same to you. Enjoy motherhood.”

 

“You didn’t have to do that.” Toni sighs as the elderly woman scuttles away. “You could’ve just said we were friends.”

 

“Is that what we are?” Cheryl asks as she nervously folds the tiny leggings. “Are we really just friends?”

 

“Of course not.” Toni scoffs. “You know how much I love you, and we will never be _just_ _friends_. But it’s different with Gavin.”

 

Cheryl shrugs, “I realize that, but I told you that I want us to work. I want all of you, and that most certainly includes the baby sitting in his stroller. I’m proud to call you two my own.”

 

“Cher,” Toni breathes out, and the adoration is clear in her dark eyes. “I don’t know how or why I was so lucky to get a second chance with you, but I’m _never_ going to ruin it again.”

 

“I know.” Cheryl grins as she leans her face inches away from Toni’s. “You and me are in for the long haul this time.”

 

Toni nods eagerly, “You know it.”

 

“So, that means that I’m not going to allow him to wear those dorky onesies anymore.” Cheryl teases with a small wink. “Now, will you please help me pick some stuff out?”

 

Toni rolls her eyes and begins to pick through the outfit choices and chimes in with her opinions here and there. Her heart swells when Gavin begins to fuss and Cheryl immediately tends to him, gently pulls him from his stroller and rests him on her hip as she continues to go through the clothes. To any passerby, it will look like they’re the perfect family but no one know how long it’s taken them to get to this moment; no one knows the obstacles Toni tossed in Cheryl’s path but the woman has managed to take each care of each one until she was standing in front of Toni with a victorious smile. No one know, and no one will; it’s their story, their happy ending. Toni thinks she’s happy to keep it that way.

 

“Hey, you ready for me to go try on some stuff?”

 

Toni snaps from her thoughts, “Definitely.”

 

-

 

“We don’t need pasta.”

 

“Yes, yes we do.”

 

“We have _so_ much pasta at home.”

 

“But not _enough_ pasta.” Betty frowns as she jumps excitedly alongside the grocery cart. “Can I please go get a few extra things of pasta?”

 

Veronica watches her wife with a glare, “Why do I feel like there’s more to you wanting pasta than you’re letting on? What is that you and Toni have planned for this pasta? Wait! Is this why you, Toni, Fangs, and Sweet Pea are planning to have a game night?”

 

“...maybe.” Betty flushes, and Veronica rolls her eyes in response. “Babe, we have a long standing rematch of a pasta eating contest from our sophomore year of college. We had to stop because Fangs choked and Toni passed out. This could be our last opportunity.”

 

“Elizabeth Cooper, you are a highly skilled surgeon. You’re married. You’re about to be a _mother_.” Veronica points out, and Betty smiles adoringly at the thought. “Don’t you think a noodle eating contest is a little childish?”

 

“What? No! Childish was when Sweet Pea used the birth of his daughter to chicken out of our last scheduled rematch.” Betty scoffs. “This is just going to put an end to our bet.”

 

“I don’t quite understand how you four survived your entire lives as best friends.” Veronica laughs with a shake of her head. “I knew it was going to be trouble when Toni came to stay with us, you four just can’t resist yourselves.”

 

“Yeah, but now we all have significant others to keep us in line.” Betty beams, and she is quick to bounce forward to smack a kiss against her wife’s cheek. “So, while Kevin, Cheryl, and Raven have the kids we thought we’d have some fun.”

 

Veronica shakes her head, “I can’t believe Cheryl is going to take Gavin to a play date. Doesn’t it seem to be happening a little fast?”

 

“I mean, a little.” Betty shrugs. “But this is Cheryl and Toni, they never got over each other and they both want so badly to start their futures. It kind of doesn’t surprise me that they’re basically moving at lightning speed. And it’s only a play date.”

 

“It won’t be long till Gavin is calling her mommy and Cheryl is planning bake sales for PTA meetings.” Veronica mumbles. “I just think they should slow down a little.”

 

“Well, we can’t force them to do anything. All we can do is, once again, stand back and offer our support.” Betty replies. “So, I’m gonna go grab some noodles, okay?”

 

Veronica rolls her eyes, “You’re ridiculous.”

 

Betty smiles softly as she presses a gentle kiss to Veronica’s cheek before she turns on her heel to rush away. With a sigh, Veronica continues through the grocery store and picks through each aisle with a look of boredom. She’s always hated grocery shopping, but somehow Betty always makes it better. She remembers when they first moved in together, had their first grocery shopping experience, and Betty had lifted her into the cart and she spent the entire hour laughing until her stomach hurt. It amazes her how Betty makes her life feel so full of bliss, full of so much laughter and unconditional love. She’s lucky, that much she knows, and she knows their son or daughter is going to be just as lucky.

 

Veronica turns down the frozen food aisle and pauses to stare at the rows of ice cream. Her stomach growls with need and she laughs under her breath at the thought that their baby has already began to push at her cravings. This little surprise is already changing her in ways she doesn’t even begin to know how to comprehend. Their little one is a miracle, something that was rushed and not properly thought about but a blessing nonetheless. With a soft hum, she opens the freezer door and grabs a pint of chocolate cookie dough before she swings her cart around to find her wife.

 

“Veronica!”

 

A chill runs down her spine, “ _Fuck_.”

 

“Hey, I know you heard me!”

 

Veronica begins to wheel a little faster as she tries to avoid the man following behind her. She hears his shoes squeaking on the tiles and she wonders when he was released from his holding cell. Her heart pounds in her ears as she twists into a random aisle and feels her stomach bottom out when she sees how empty it is. It isn’t till she glances over her shoulder that she realizes Jughead is gone, and the relief flows easily through her. But as a hand slams on the front of her cart, causes her to skid to a stop in surprise, the dread suddenly returns.

 

“Let go.” Veronica orders as she turns to glare at him.

 

“I know she’s staying with you.” Jughead scowls as he releases the cart and allows her to loop around him. “There’s nowhere else she’d run besides Betty’s side.”

 

Veronica rolls her eyes, “And?”

 

“I’m going to fight for my son. I’m going to fight to get him back.” Jughead snaps as he hurries to trail behind her. “I don’t care how long it takes, I’m going to get him back.”

 

“Oh my God. You just don’t quit.” Veronica laughs as she continues down the aisle. “You don’t stand a chance, Jughead. You _attacked_ , Toni. No judge in his right mind would dare give you any type of custody of that baby.”

 

Jughead hisses, “I made a mistake.”

 

“A mistake would be forgetting to lock your car door, or accidentally throwing cashmere in the washing machine.” Veronica drawls as she scans over the shelves. “You breaking down Toni’s door wasn’t a _mistake_.”

 

Veronica gasps as soon as her hands are forced off the cart and her back meets the harsh metal of a random aisle. And then she’s faced with Jughead, faced with the dark circles under his eyes and the desperation on his face. The fear runs through her as she squirms in an attempt to free herself, but Jughead tightens his grip and takes a step closer as he bares his teeth. For a moment, Veronica thinks of kneeing him but her thought immediately goes to the baby that is nestled in her and all those plans go flying out the window. She’s frozen, scared with the knowledge that any movement could hurt her baby.

 

“I want my son.” Jughead begs.

 

Veronica squirms, “You can’t have him.”

 

“You have to see where I’m coming from, I didn’t mean to hurt her.” Jughead whispers, and Veronica scrunches her nose. “I just wanted her to listen to me. She won’t _listen_.”

 

“Toni doesn’t owe you a fucking thing.” Veronica hisses. “She should’ve done the smart thing and forgotten you, raised that baby with Cheryl. Her life would’ve been so much simpler.”

 

Jughead tightens his grasp, “Fuck you.”

 

“No. I’m good…”

 

“Hey!”

 

Veronica breathes a sigh of relief as she sees Betty appear and Jughead immediately pushes away from her. Her heart swells with the way Betty slides protectively in front of her and reaches back to settle a hand against her hip as she keeps a close eye on Jughead. The man is on edge, she can see it from the way his gaze bounces frantically to the way he curls his hands into fists. He’s reaching the end of his rope, and it terrifies her; but she refuses to allow herself or Betty to get wrapped into this mess.

 

“Where’s Toni?” Jughead demands.

 

“If I ever see you lay a hand on her again, I will _destroy_ you.” Betty growls. “Walk away, Jughead. You really don’t want to see what will happen to you if you don’t.”

 

Jughead groans in annoyance, “Where is she?”

 

“Somewhere far away from you.” Veronica spits out over Betty’s shoulder. “Go take a fucking shower and brush your teeth.”

 

“I’m going to find her.” Jughead warns as he takes a step back and runs a hand through his hair. “I’m going to get my son back.”

 

As soon as he turns on his heel to leave, Betty turns to look Veronica over with a frantic expression on her face. Her hands slide over Veronica’s face and her thumbs brush over her lips, her touch travels lower until it rests lightly on her flat stomach as her eyes gleam with questions. Veronica simply sighs as she curls a gentle hand around the back of Betty’s neck and guides her into a kiss to let her know she’s okay. She’s scared, but she’s okay. She won’t let Jughead treat her the way he does Toni, she won’t stand for her child to be in danger.

 

“I’m done.” Betty murmurs against her lips. “I won’t let my family be involved with that psycho. I’m calling Jason to tell him about this.”

 

Veronica nods slowly, “We can’t kick Toni out.”

 

“I know. And I don’t want to.” Betty assures her as her thumbs brush low over her abdomen. “I just need to talk to her, I need her to see the kind of man she’s allowed to push her around.”

 

“I’m sorry…”

 

“V, if you’re about to apologize for not fighting back or something then I will be so upset.” Betty scoffs as she drops their foreheads together. “I’m not upset, as long as you’re okay.”

 

Veronica smiles softly, “ _We’re_ okay.”

 

“Then I’m good.” Betty replies.

 

“Did you get the noodles you needed?” Veronica asks as she draws away to see bags of pasta abandoned. “Babe, we really don’t need to buy _that_ much pasta.”

 

Betty arches an eyebrow, “But we do.”

 

“Fine.” Veronica chuckles. “Can we just get out of here already?”

 

“Anything my baby...well, my _babies_ want.” Betty chirps as she moves to scoop up the pasta. “Let’s go home.”

 

Betty tries hard to quell the crackle of fire that begins to spark in her chest, tries to tell herself that this isn’t worth getting mad over. But then she thinks of Toni, thinks of the cut on her head. She thinks of the lengths Jughead will go through to get what he wants. She thinks of her wife, of how scared she must have been while Betty was busy contemplating pasta choices. She thinks about all of it even as Veronica kisses her cheek; she ponders it, and soon the fire grows until it glosses low in her stomach and spreads.

 

-

 

The fire doesn’t fade away in Betty’s stomach when they arrive home, it doesn’t fade when Veronica kisses her and orders her to calm down, and it certainly doesn’t fade when she happens upon Toni. If anything, it rises and crackles louder. She loves her best friend, but she can’t help but blame her for what transpired at the grocery store. Here Toni is, giggling and tickling Gavin, so happy and carefree while Betty hasn’t stopped shaking since she whisked Veronica from the store. Her purse hits the floor with a thud and both Cheryl and Toni turn to look at her with smiles that slowly dim away to concerned frowns.

 

“Hey, Betts.” Toni greets.

 

“We need to talk to talk about something serious, Antoinette.” Betty snarls, and she sees Cheryl’s hackles rise at her tone. “Alone. _Now_.”

 

“Hey, take him upstairs.” Toni orders in a whisper as she stands and offers Gavin to Cheryl. “His bouncer and jumper are set up.”

 

Cheryl balances Gavin on her hip, “No. I’m not leaving you when she’s mad like this. She has no reason to be…”

 

“Cheryl, I would never hurt her.” Betty assures her as her expression softens for a moment. “This is just a conversation that needs to be between me and her. And me and her only.”

 

“Okay.” Cheryl sighs as she catches Toni’s small nod, and the woman glances down at the baby on her hip. “What do you say we put you in your jumper? I wanna see those little legs bounce.”

 

Betty watches as Cheryl walks away while still speaking quietly to Gavin, “I never truly thought you’d get this all back. You really have always had some of the best luck.”

 

“Is that supposed to be a joke?” Toni scoffs as she collapses back on the couch. “My good luck has runs its course for the year, Cheryl is a fucking _blessing_ not luck.”

 

“And she may be a blessing but the father of your child is a curse.” Betty snaps, and Toni instantly snaps to attention. “Veronica and I had a little run in with Jughead. I think he’s trying to hunt you down, and he figured out you were with us.”

 

“What?” Toni gasps as she springs to her feet with a frantic expression. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you? Betty, did he lay a finger on you? I will kill him, I swear I’ll...”

 

“It wasn’t me.” Betty cuts in. “It was Ronnie.”

 

Toni swallows hard, “Is she okay?”

 

“He scared her.” Betty admits. “He looked like he hadn’t showered in days, smelled like it too. He wanted to know where we were hiding Gavin, he said he’s going to get him back.”

 

“I need to call Jason.” Toni whispers.

 

“No, we need to talk first.” Betty hisses as she holds up a hand to stop Toni. “Does this help you see what kind of man Jughead is? Does this help clear anything up?”

 

Toni pauses, “Excuse me?”

 

“He’s finally crossed the last line, attacking you and now going after Veronica.” Betty points out with a scowl. “Has all of this made you realize he isn’t a good guy? No matter how many chances you give him, if he quacks like a duck then it’s a duck.”

 

“Chances? I haven’t…”

 

“You let him get away with _everything_!” Betty exclaims with a laugh of disbelief. “You’ve been too easy on him, Toni. He acts like he can just walk all over you.”

 

“I do not!” Toni scoffs. “He’s the father of my child, excuse me for wanting Gavin to grow up with parents who don’t hate each other. I want my son to be happy.”

 

Betty stares back at her in disbelief, “And excuse me if I don’t want my _pregnant_ wife getting wrapped up in this bullshit!”

 

The words hang in the air as Toni seems to digest them, and the tense moment suddenly turns soft. Betty feels the weight of the situation hit her as she collapses back on the couch and drags her hands through her hair. The sight of Jughead being so close to Veronica, the idea that he could somehow ruin the tiny life growing inside of her wife, makes her heart ache. It makes her breathless. She won’t let anyone hurt her family, not when her family has only been expanded for a few days. Not when this is the first time she has even admitted that her and Veronica are about to be a family of three.

 

Toni shakes her head, “Ronnie’s pregnant?”

 

“Yeah. It took on the first round.” Betty whispers as she stares down at her lap. “We wanted to wait for the first trimester to pass before we told anyone, she’s only a few weeks in.”

 

“I didn’t know you were even trying…”

 

“We had started and then stopped, expecting this one not to work, but Veronica was late and I convinced her to take a test.” Betty explains. “We were _fighting_ during her entire first week of pregnancy, T.”

 

Toni furrows her brow, “I thought you guys had only just decided to start trying.”

 

“I’m not going to explain the timeline of my decision to you right now. That isn’t the issue or what matters.” Betty reminds her. “You need to take responsibility of the actions you’ve taken, of the decisions _you’ve_ made.”

 

“Are you...Betty, are you saying what he did to me is _my_ fault?”

 

“No! God, no. No one should ever have something like that happen.” Betty replies. “I’m talking about the ground rules you need to set, I’m telling you that you can’t just threaten to take custody. You need to follow through with this, T. If you don’t then you’re just feeding the beast.”

 

Toni bites her lower lip, “He loves GJ.”

 

“And that’s good. That’s _great_. I want my godson to have all the love in the world.” Betty assures her with a small smile. “But I also want him to be safe. And _you_ , I want you to be safe because you have a godchild cooking.”

 

“Betty, I’m scared.” Toni admits as she curls her arms around herself. “I-I’m battling the father of my child for custody, a custody that will basically make me a single mom.”

 

“You’re going to be the most amazing single mom there is.” Betty scoffs. “You love Gavin like nothing I’ve ever seen before, and you protect him with everything you have. Don’t be scared of the outcome of being a single mom, be _proud_. Be proud of yourself and know that you have all of us ready to back you up.”

 

“I don’t know what I’m doing.” Toni sniffles. “I’m so scared that I’m going to ruin Gavin’s life, that I’m going to ruin Jughead’s.”

 

“Why does he matter?” Betty snaps.

 

“Because he’s an influential person in Gavin’s life, he’s his _father_. I don’t want my son to hate me for exiling Jughead from his life.” Toni explains. “I want him to be happy.”

 

Betty shakes her head in frustration, “Then say _that_ , leave Jughead out of it. His happiness shouldn’t matter to you.”

 

“He isn’t a bad father.” Toni points out. “He loves his son.”

 

“I don’t _care_!” Betty exclaims. “He could’ve hurt my wife. Do something about him or I will. I’m done playing nice, alright? If he comes near you again, all bets are off. And if he even _looks_ Veronica’s way then I’ll kill him.”

 

“Betty…”

 

“You need to start thinking about your future. Think about who you really love.” Betty cuts in, and on cue Cheryl’s laugh flows down the stairs. “Think of how hard you’ve fought to get it back.”

 

Toni swallows audibly, “I want her. I’ll always want her.”

 

“Then you can’t have it both ways. You can’t keep Jughead happy _and_ live the life you want. He won’t let you.” Betty sighs. “You need to think about you, think about Cheryl.”

 

“I know…”

 

Betty smiles softly, “Okay. How about this? Put Gavin aside for a moment, he doesn’t count in this. Imagine the greatest moment in your life, somewhere down the road. All your dreams have come true, and you get to experience it with _one_ person. So, who do you want standing next to you?”

 

Toni furrows her brow, “Are you quoting One Tree Hill right now?”

 

“Answer the question, you ass.” Betty orders.

 

“It’s Cheryl.” Toni breathes out with the softest smile on her face. “It’s always been Cheryl, and it always _will_ be.”

 

“Then hold onto that, and remember it. You’re so close to having it all.” Betty whispers. “Don’t let your guilty conscience ruin it.”

 

Toni nods slowly, “Okay.”

 

“Okay?”

 

“Okay.” Toni repeats with a smile, and she slowly feels the tension leaving her body. “You’re right. I’m not going to let anything ruin this, ruin what Cheryl and I are building.”

 

Betty laughs as Toni jumps up, “Where are you going?”

 

“To call Jason!” Toni replies over her shoulder. “I want to get this case started as soon as possible, I want my future to start.”

 

“That’s my best friend.” Betty sings to herself as she turns on her heel to find Veronica. “Go best friend.”

 

-

 

“ _It_ _has_ _to_ _be_ _negative_.”

_Betty winces, “I hope it is. For your sake.”_

_“Betty, we literally just started sleeping in the same bed again. We’ve finally gotten past the awkward realization that I fucking cheated on her.” Toni breathes out. “If I’m pregnant, then I’m going to lose her forever.”_

_“Hey,” Betty coos as she loops her arms around Toni’s waist to stop her pacing. “How many times do I have to tell you that you didn’t cheat?”_

_“I never should’ve let Jughead buy me a drink, I should’ve gone home when she texted and told me she wasn’t coming.” Toni sniffles as she sinks  back against Betty. “I should’ve walked away, but I didn’t. I’m an idiot.”_

_“You’re not an idiot.” Betty scolds. “You were hurting, Toni. You were desperate for something that only Cheryl could fix. It isn’t your fault that she didn’t show up.”_

_“But it’s my fault that I fucked him.” Toni points out with a roll of her eyes. “I wanted to hurt her, Betty. Deep down, I wanted her to feel as badly as I do. As I did.”_

_Betty opens her mouth to speak just as her phone alarm begins to beep. Both women look at each other before Betty intertwines their fingers and slowly leads her across the bathroom to where the white stick is waiting. Immediately, the air seems to leave the room and her knees buckle as she sees the two pink lines. She can hear Betty talking, feel the gentle touch of her hand but the sight before her is enough to almost bring her to her knees. She screwed up, she ruined her life, and the evidence of that is glaring back at her._

_Toni stares at the positive pregnancy test for a full minute, like somehow the two lines will fade and become one. Like somehow this is all just a bad dream and she’s seeing double because of the stress. But the seconds tick by and she’s still pregnant. She’s in a committed relationship and pregnant with someone else’s child. Toni gaps as she clutches the test and looks to Betty who seems to be in more shock than she is. She doesn’t want a baby, she doesn’t want to be a mother. Her first tear finally falls when she realizes not only is she going to be a mother, but Cheryl isn’t going to be the a part of it._

_“_ They’re perfect when they sleep.”

 

Veronica gasps, “Toni!”

 

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” Toni chuckles as she slips into the room. “I just wanted to come check on him before Betty and I start getting dinner ready.”

 

“He’s okay. Sleeping like the perfect angel he is. He snores.” Veronica notes with a small smile. “I look at him and marvel in the fact that there’s this tiny little human who relies on you for everything, who loves you unconditionally without even knowing who you really are.”

 

Toni tilts her head, “Well, all I can do is hope and pray that I live up to his expectations. The love is given both ways, you know? The second you have your child, it’s like nothing else in this world ever even existed.”

 

“Oh.” Veronica breathes out as she rests a hand on her abdomen. “That’s what I’ve read and it’s astounding. I don’t...I’ve always been selfish. I only thought of myself until Betty came along, and only then did I start expanding my care.”

 

“That’s what love does to you.” Toni shrugs as she stands beside Veronica. “It teaches you how to grow, and it strips all the selfishness right out of you. After all, you’re living with more than one person in your universe.”

 

Veronica pinches her lips into a thin line, “Is that how you felt with him?”

 

“I thought I was going to hate him.” Toni admits with a small wince. “When I first looked at the positive pregnancy test, I _hated_ him. I hated him for even existing.”

 

Veronica winces, “That’s…”

 

“Fucked up? I know. Believe me, I know.” Toni sighs. “I was so mad at myself for bringing a child into this world that isn’t Cheryl’s. I was mad at myself for ruining her life, for ruining mine. And I was mad at myself that I let some douchebag with a superiority complex knock me up.”

 

Veronica arches an eyebrow in thought, “Yeah, you kind of chose the worst baby daddy in the entire city.”

 

“At least your baby mama is sane…”

 

“She told you?” Veronica laughs, and she rolls her eyes at Toni’s smirk. “Yeah, I couldn’t have dreamt up a better baby mama for myself. Betty is going to be the most amazing mother.”

 

“That she is.” Toni nods.

 

“And one day, maybe even sooner rather than later, Cheryl is going to be a good mother too. I can already see it.” Veronica admits. “She’s going to fall in love with Gavin.”

 

Toni licks her lips, “I’m not going to stop her.”

 

“So long as you promise not to fuck up this time, I think I’ll keep my nose out of your business. I won’t even sniff around.” Veronica declares as she offers her pinky to Toni.

 

Toni laughs as she twists their pinkies together and squeezes, “I’m not going to stop you, you protected and loved Cheryl when I was being an idiot. I can’t hate you for that.”

 

“The things I’ve said…”

 

“We talked about that, I understand.” Toni assures her as she releases Veronica pinky. “Cheryl and I have decided not to dwell on the past, on things we can’t change. We want to focus on the future because _that_ we have control over.”

 

Veronica smiles down at Gavin as he peacefully sleeps, “And what does that future look like, Antoinette Topaz?”

 

“It’s bright.” Toni grins, and her heart swells as she tilts her head and stares at her son. “It’s really fucking bright.”

 

-

 

Cheryl smiles as she follows the sound of Toni’s laughter and Gavin’s squeals. The towel in her hands is damp from her shower as she wrings out her hair and patters into the bedroom so she can lean against the doorway and watch. The scene before her almost takes her breath away; Gavin is squirming on the bed while Toni playfully holds the sheet up on her face only to pull it away with a dramatic gasp. It’s so perfect, and it’s all hers. Cheryl releases a heavy sigh, and Toni finally takes notice of her appearance as she smiles and nods for her to join their little bedtime playfulness. Without hesitation, Cheryl drops the towel in the laundry basket and crosses the room to climb onto the bed beside Toni.

 

“Are we playing an intense game of peek a boo with the baby who’s supposed to be sleeping right now?” Cheryl smirks as she reaches out to tickle Gavin’s stomach.

 

Toni grins sheepishly, “He’s not tired.”

 

“Oh? Or is it that his mommy just doesn’t want to put him in his crib?” Cheryl coos, and she widens her eyes as she looks to Gavin. “Is your mommy being silly again?”

 

“If he could talk, he wouldn’t spill a single secret to you.” Toni declares with a smug tone. “I do believe my boy and I already have an agreement, all our secrets stay between us.”

 

“Starting him young.” Cheryl hums. “I can definitely appreciate that.”

 

“Just as we appreciate _you_.” Toni whispers as she carefully leans over Gavin to steal a kiss. “I can’t thank you enough for all the clothes you bought him today.”

 

“You don’t have to thank me, babe.” Cheryl laughs with a roll of her eyes. “I enjoy doing nice things for him, for _you_.”

 

“Well, I hope you’ll allow me to thank you in a different way.” Toni offers, and a snort leaves her as she catches Cheryl’s wide eyes. “Not like _that_ , Cher. At least not yet.”

 

Cheryl gives a hard swallow, “Oh.”

 

“No. I thought...I would really like to take you on a date. Do this whole thing right.” Toni whispers as she nibbles at her lower lip. “Would you be interested in having a first _first_ date?”

 

“Of course, TT. Just no ice skating, I could do without another twisted ankle.” Cheryl smiles, and it only widens at the way Toni laughs. “I’d like to do this right as well.”

 

Toni reaches across Gavin to grab Cheryl’s hand as she pulls it to her, “So long as I get to be with you, I’m good.”

 

“Such a charmer.” Cheryl smirks, and her eyes drop to Gavin as he kicks his legs. “Your mommy is a charmer, did you know that? She has all kinds of lines stored up.”

 

Toni tilts her head as she watches them, “I really thought you’d have a harder time with Gavin. But you’ve taken to him so easily, way easier than I would have.”

 

“He’s just a baby. He didn’t pick his parents. He got lucky with you.” Cheryl shrugs. “Sometimes it’s hard, and it’s going to take time but I can’t help but adore him. He looks so much like you, TT. How could I _not_ adore him?”

 

“And you say I’m the charmer?” Toni teases.

 

“I adore him so much that I was hoping you would be okay with introducing him to my mother, she’ll be down for a visit in a few weeks.” Cheryl whispers with a nervous blush.

 

“Your mother hates me…”

 

“She doesn’t _hate_ you. She’s just a little upset about what happened.” Cheryl frowns. “Now, she hates _Polly_. Try as she might, Polly can’t crack that cold stone.”

 

Toni giggles, “Hopefully I’ll have better luck.”

 

“You don’t have to try, it’ll be easy. Just be you. No one can resist you.” Cheryl assures her with a playful wink. “And Gavin doesn’t even have to try, he’s just naturally perfect.”

 

“And apparently done listening to us talk.” Toni scoffs as she looks down to the dozing boy. “I thought he’d want a bottle first.”

 

“He’s probably just exhausted, he had a long fashionable day.” Cheryl points out. “Would you be okay if I put him in the bassinet?”

 

Toni hesitates, “You sure?”

 

“I’m sure.” Cheryl nods.

 

Cheryl smiles softly as she cradles Gavin and carries him to his little bassinet. He looks so innocent and perfect as she lays him in his layers of silk and covers him in a warm blanket. She stares for a moment longer, three words on the tip of her tongue, but she swallows them down and turns back to the bed. Toni is sprawled across the mattress and Cheryl giggles as she struggles to move each limb until she can lay beside the younger woman and allow her to flop onto her. It’s so familiar, so comfortable, and Cheryl simply wraps an arm around Toni’s frame and presses a long kiss into her messy hair.

 

“You tired?” Cheryl whispers.

 

Toni shrugs, “Kind of.”

 

“Do you want to tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?” Cheryl asks as she drags a gentle hand down Toni’s back.

 

“I’m thinking about my conversation with Betty, about everything she said.” Toni sighs. “I can’t help but think I should consider going back to the apartment, just suck it up.”

 

Cheryl furrows her brow, “No. It’s barely been a week, Toni.”

 

“I feel like I’m ruining their life.” Toni admits as she settles against Cheryl’s chest. “They’ve gotten wrapped in this, and that’s not fair. This is _my_ fight, they shouldn’t have to suffer.”

 

Cheryl lifts her hand to her lips, “ _Our_ fight.”

 

“Babe…”

 

“Hey, you’re not getting rid of me. I told you I was going to stand beside you through this, and I meant it. So, it’s our fight.” Cheryl replies with a sure nod. “And my brother is representing you so it really is our fight.”

 

Toni chuckles as she turns her face to press a lingering kiss to Cheryl’s collarbone, “I’m sorry for everything, for what happened.”

 

“I know you are. You don’t have to spend the rest of your life apologizing for it.” Cheryl murmurs. “I believe you. Maybe we needed this time apart, time to grow.”

 

“You think?”

 

“I do. It gave me time to get my job in order, to realize that I don’t want to spend my entire life jetting all over the world.” Cheryl scoffs. “I want to be present, to be around. It took losing you for me to realize why I lost you in the first place.”

 

Toni hums thoughtfully, “I think my learning point was that I was being too selfish, expecting too much from you. I wanted and I needed, but along the way I stopped thinking of what _you_ wanted and needed. With GJ, every thought I have is about him. I’ve learned how to truly put others before me, especially if I love them.”

 

“At least we both came back into this with a little more knowledge.” Cheryl offers. “I don’t think there’s a single thing in this world that could stop us now.”

 

“Well, there’s global warming.” Toni points out with a thoughtful expression. “And so many other worldly issues to think about.”

 

Cheryl laughs as she rolls to trap Toni beneath her with an unimpressed scowl, “I’m not talking about worldly issues, you weirdo.”

 

“Oh? Well, you need to be specific.” Toni replies with a small pout. “Now, get off me. I like being on top, remember?”

 

“No. I’m good right here.” Cheryl breathes out as she slowly ducks her head to press a soft kiss to Toni’s lips.

 

The kiss is sweet, just lips that brush slowly over Toni’s until she finally bites down on her lower lip. And then it’s demanding, its tongues meeting in the middle and hands running down bodies that have long since been memorized. Cheryl brushes the hand that isn’t holding her weight under the gentle material of Toni’s t-shirt and moans into the kiss as warm skin soaks into her palm. Toni parts her legs, feels her core ache with need as Cheryl falls between them and begins a steady, easy roll of her hips. It’s everything Toni wants, everything Cheryl needs but both women pull away just as Toni’s hand slips down the front of Cheryl’s plaid pajama pants.

 

“I want you.” Toni whispers as her fingertips play with the lace of Cheryl’s underwear. “I want you so much right now.”

 

Cheryl whimpers as her hips unconsciously roll into fingers that press closer, “But we can’t. Not yet. Not here. Not with Gavin in the room. It’s okay. I understand.”

 

“You are so incredibly beautiful.” Toni sighs as her hands move to frame Cheryl’s face. “I don’t know what I did in a past lifetime to deserve to end up right where I am now.”

 

“I wonder the same thing.” Cheryl hums as she turns to nuzzle into Toni’s palm. “We should really get some sleep.”

 

“We should.” Toni frowns. “GJ will be up for his nightly bottle at like three.”

 

“Okay.” Cheryl pouts even as she leans down to connect their lips once more.

 

This time, the kiss is led with the knowledge that it has to end. It’s unspoken words and promises laced into the flick of tongues and the nibble of teeth. It’s the assurance that this isn’t over, that this is only their new beginning. And when Cheryl’s lungs scream, when she feels like they’re going to die away if she doesn’t breath, she finally draws back and reluctantly falls beside Toni. Her arms open to the woman, and Toni rolls into her side and tucks herself back under the safety of Cheryl’s chin as a small yawn breaks free.

 

“Goodnight, TT.” Cheryl whispers.

 

Toni mumbles through a yawn, “G’night, Cher.”


	10. a lack of love was never the issue

“There you go.” Toni coos as she shifts Gavin onto the floor and spreads the blocks out. “Let see what kind of mess you can make with this, goober. How about we build a tower?”

 

Toni lays sideways, with Gavin close to her chest, and leans her weight on her elbow as she reaches around her son to collect blocks. She’s only been home for a few minutes, and all she wants to do is spend time with her son. Being away from him, working a seven hour shift, was torture; she knows Alice had to have been annoyed with her constant texts and demands for pictures. The second she walked through the door, she felt a sense of calm pour over her as she collected her son and whisked him away after pouring out a million thanks to Alice. And now here she sits, her whole world in front of her as they build a small city from his colored blocks.

 

“What do we say we live right here?” Toni hums as she tops a little house with a yellow block. “You’ll have your own room, I’ll paint it whatever color you want. We can even have a dog, little bird. Do you think we should get a dog?”

 

Gavin gurgles and reaches a pudgy hand out to smack her tower aside, and Toni laughs as it crumbles with ease. Her hand pulls back, and Gavin’s immediately darts forward to latch onto two blocks as he slams them together with as much strength as he can muster. The clacking of the blocks draws a soft laugh from her as she reaches out to stop the awkward sounds, and Gavin grunts and flashes her a look of disapproval. It looks so much like her own that she pauses to admire it for a moment; with her, she figures she looks constipated and ridiculous but Gavin has a way of making the face absolutely adorable.

 

“Alright, alright. Make a bunch of noise.” Toni sighs as she releases his arm and allows him to go back to his task. “Before you, I never realized that I could manage to not be annoyed by loud noises. I guess it’s true when people say that when it’s your kid, it’s all different.”

 

“Having a bit of an in-depth conversation?”

 

Toni smiles towards the doorway, “Sorta.”

 

“Is this what motherhood does?” Betty demands as she strolls towards them. “Am I just constantly going to happen upon Veronica talking to our child about blocks and politics?”

 

“Nah.” Toni shrugs. “Ronnie will probably have your kid talking about the latest fall fashion, and what palette clashes with summer colors.”

 

“She does have a good way of sneaking in conversations about the fashion industry.” Betty hums. “I just can’t...I’m trying to imagine myself doing this. Is it weird that I can’t?”

 

Toni tilts her head in thought, “No. Not weird. It’s understandable. I don’t think any of us really thought of ourselves as parents, we were _terrible_ kids in high school.”

 

“Yeah, but then it changed. _We_ changed. I got wrapped up in medical school, you were busy with nursing school, Fangs was getting his certificate for teaching, and Sweet Pea was taking business courses.” Betty sighs. “We grew up, we matured. Shouldn’t this have been a part of it? Imagining ourselves as parents?”

 

“I don’t think so.” Toni shrugs as she shifts to follow a moving Gavin. “I was so wrapped up in finishing school and making something out of myself that I never thought about long term. Not till Cheryl came strutting her way into my life.”

 

“I didn’t know I could be married to anything but my work until a beautiful woman collapsed in my arms just as I was getting off an eighteen hour shift.” Betty chuckles. “She crashed into my world, and things haven’t been the same.”

 

“Betty, what the hell did we do right in a past life to be where we are now?” Toni snorts. “We raised all types of hell, and look at us. I have a child, and you’re going to have one soon.”

 

Betty smiles softly as Gavin begins to scoot towards her, “Maybe this is our reward, for making it out of that lifestyle. How many Serpents really slither their way from the clutches of that gang? How many _survive_ it?”

 

“Hey, we had a pact. From the time your parents took me in at the ripe age of twelve.” Toni reminds her with a lopsided grin. “We agreed we were going to get out, and we agreed we were going to take your family with us.”

 

“ _Our_ family.” Betty corrects.

 

Toni rolls her eyes, “ _Our_ family.”

 

“Sometimes I still have nightmares, especially lately.” Betty mutters as she lays a block in Gavin’s grappling hand. “I dream that I bring Veronica back to Riverdale, and Penny hunts us down. She cuts the Serpent right off my thigh and then she kills Veronica. No hesitance, no remorse, just takes her life right in front of me.”

 

“And now?” Toni asks. “What are the dreams like now?”

 

“She cuts the baby out of Veronica.” Betty breathes out with wide eyes. “She takes the baby and tells me she’s going to do right by this Cooper, and I’m left all alone.”

 

“Penny is brittle and bitter now, Betts.” Toni assures her. “Ronnie could probably snap her with a flick of her finger. You have nothing to be afraid of, it’s just a town.”

 

“Riverdale will never be just a _town_. It’s our roots, our home. What do I tell my child when they ask about my childhood?” Betty demands. “Are you going to tell Gavin that you were in a _gang_? That you’ve hurt people?”

 

“I’m going to tell him the truth.” Toni replies in a soft voice. “I’m going to tell him that it’s just a town, a town full of memories of who I used to be. And then? Then I’m going to tell him about the person he helped me become.”

 

Betty swallows hard, “It’s that easy?”

 

“It’s as easy as you want it to be.” Toni nods. “We did some stupid shit, but it’s in our past. We can’t go back, we can’t change it. As for Riverdale, it’ll always be there but we don’t have to go back. It may be our roots but it was never our home.”

 

“And what’s home then, Toni?” Betty sniffles.

 

“Home? Home is seeing you light up because your wife comes through the front door, home is seeing the smile on my son’s face whenever he sees me. My home is built on a foundation of family, a family that I got to pick. All on my own.” Toni chirps. “It may be little, and sometimes broken but it’s still good.”

 

Betty gives a wet laugh, “Did you just quote Stitch at me?”

 

“I did.” Toni smirks as she reaches out to catch one of Betty’s tears. “Don’t waste those tears, you’re going to need them for the delivery room when your wife is pushing out a beautiful baby.”

 

“You’re ridiculous.” Betty whispers.

 

“Yeah, but I’m your favorite kind of ridiculous and you know I’m right.” Toni scoffs. “It’s okay to be afraid, and it’s okay to question everything. It’ll all come together in the end, it always does.”

 

Betty nods slowly, “You think?”

 

“I know.”

 

“And how do you know?” Betty teases.

 

“Because I’m doing it for myself right now. I’m taking control. I talked to Jason.” Toni whispers as she watches Gavin reach for a green block. “The motion has been filed, Jughead should be served within the next few days. He said the case is strong, there’s no way I won’t be getting sole custody.”

 

Betty arches an eyebrow, “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah. I am.” Toni nods, and Betty sees the way her body relaxes. “I thought a lot about what you said, and you were right. I let Jughead get away with too much, and maybe if I had been less forgiving then we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

 

“Toni…”

 

“No, I’m serious.” Toni scoffs. “I’ve put up with a lot of shit from him, and I’m done. I have to protect my son, and myself. I have to take care of my future, and him acting the way he does won’t do anything to make sure I have a future.”

 

Betty smiles softly, “Do you know how happy I am to hear you say that? To hear you talk about putting yourself first? I’m so proud of you, Toni. We’re gonna make it through this, okay? I’ll be beside you every step of the way.”

 

“You and me?” Toni smirks. “Just like the diaper says?”

 

“Just like the diaper days.”

 

-

 

“He’s getting big.”

 

Toni smiles at her son, “I know.”

 

“Did you have that weird week of sadness when you realized how old he’s getting?” Fangs frowns as he watches the kids play. “Kevin got so clingy and mushy for a week.”

 

Sweet Pea laughs and nods, “Raven went through that. She basically spent an entire week with Kaylee in her arms.”

 

“I always want him in my arms.” Toni shrugs. “I think it just comes with the territory of being a single mother though. I’m his protector, his constant. He needs me.”

 

“He’s lucky to have you.” Sweet Pea hums as his jaw flexes. “And the fact that Jughead could’ve done something to take you out this world...I want to kill him.”

 

Fangs snorts, “Get in line.”

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t text you guys back after everything that happened.” Toni sighs as she shifts Kadence to a pile of toys. “I was a little overwhelmed and trying to balance going back to work, it just got insane.”

 

“Tiny, you don’t have to apologize.” Fangs assures her. “We understood. Betts kept us in the loop, we knew you were okay.”

 

Sweet Pea clenches his jaw again, “What happens now?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Do we kill him?” Sweet Pea demands as his dark eyes snap to meet hers. “Back home, if someone touched one of us, they wouldn’t have lived to see another day.”

 

“Except we’re not gangsters anymore.” Fangs points out as he gestures forward. “Pea, we’re parents. We’re too smart to think that we can get away with the things we did back then.”

 

“Nor should we be proud of it.” Toni scolds, and Sweet Pea simply snorts. “I just had this conversation with Betty, she’s twisted up about Riverdale still.”

 

“We left a lot of skeletons in that closet.” Fangs reminds her. “A lot of unfinished business. I can see why she’d have her worries. I think about it too sometimes, I think about the shit we pulled.”

 

“The bodies we piled up.” Toni whispers.

 

“The families we tore apart.” Sweet Pea mutters as his gaze snaps to Kaylee. “We should be rotting in prison right now, not sitting in front of three of the fucking cutest kids.”

 

“That stuff got buried, we don’t have to worry about it. We were only witnesses anyway, we never actually got our hands dirty.” Toni sighs. “Or that’s what I tell myself at night.”

 

“Can we maybe not talk about this?” Fangs mumbles. “I understand that we’re always going to be caught up on our past, but we have our future right in front of us.”

 

Toni smiles as Gavin crawls to her, “He’s right. We left Riverdale in our rear view mirrors years ago. Let’s just focus on our now.”

 

“Fine.” Sweet Pea huffs as he allows a lazy smile to cross his lips when Kaylee looks at him. “Any news on the custody stuff?”

 

“Here and there.” Toni nods. “Jason is pulling some stuff together, working out a few kinks here and there.”

 

“Your evidence has to be pretty good, right? I mean, you already have temporary custody so that should work in your favor.” Sweet Pea points out with a frown. “Right?”

 

“Jason will pull as much evidence as he can together, build a strong case.” Toni shrugs. “And when our court day comes, he’ll lay it out for the judge and we’ll wait for the verdict.”

 

Fangs nods, “And then what happens?”

 

“I sit there, and pray to God I win.” Toni scoffs.

 

Sweet Pea hesitates, “And if you don’t?”

 

“I pray to God I live through it.” Toni whispers as she tightens her grip on Gavin. “And I pray to God my son doesn’t get caught in the middle.”

 

-

 

“I don’t quite understand why we’re doing this, Betty.” Veronica sighs as she leans back against the counter. “I mean, I appreciate the fact that Toni is slowing things down, but do we really need to spend our Saturday night like this?”

 

“Babe, eventually _all_ of our Saturday nights are going to be like this.” Betty chuckles. “It won’t be too bad, Gavin can be a handful but I know for a fact he won’t be too bad.”

 

Veronica arches an eyebrow, “You’re not prepared for bad behaved children? You do realize who is carrying this child, right?”

 

“What?” Betty frowns.

 

“Betty, my love, this child is going to be half Lodge. You know me, and my parents told you I was a difficult child. I constantly threw temper tantrums and broke things.” Veronica smirks, and she sees Betty’s face pale. “Not to worry, my darling. I assume the donor’s genes will calm mine.”

 

“You are cruel, Veronica Lodge-Cooper.” Betty breathes out, and Veronica simply giggles as she glides towards her. “Don’t you dare try to come over here and burrow.”

 

“Oh, don’t act like you’ll stop me.” Veronica scoffs as she twists her arms around Betty’s waist and nuzzles into her.

 

“I almost hate to break you two apart.”

 

Betty smiles as Toni approaches them with a bundle of a little boy, “By all means, if it involves cuddling the cutest monster, you are free to interrupt whenever.”

 

“Are you two sure about this? I don’t mind texting Raven, I know she’ll watch Gavin.” Toni frowns as she bounces him. “I don’t want you guys to get too overwhelmed.”

 

Veronica huffs in shock, “Overwhelmed?”

 

“This is your first time babysitting a child that can’t walk or talk.” Toni reminds her. “I know you guys are trying to prepare for your own bundle, but I don’t want mine getting caught in the crossfire of your rehearsal.”

 

“If I didn’t know you so well and I didn’t know that you’re joking, I’d punch you square in the boob. Stop freaking my wife out.” Betty orders with an amused roll of her eyes. “She’s only playing, V. She’s not actually worried.”

 

“Nope. I know I’m leaving him in perfectly good arms, two perfectly good set of arms.” Toni chirps as she smiles down at her son. “You’re going to have so much fun, huh?”

 

Betty nods eagerly, “He is.”

 

“Auntie B is so good with you, and she’s going to teach Auntie V how to be good too.” Toni explains to the clueless child. “She’ll make sure you’re tucked in right, she’ll check all your bottles, and she’ll let you splash in the bath for an extra ten minutes.”

 

Veronica blinks slowly, “What is happening?”

 

“And don’t worry about grumpy over there, she’ll follow along with whatever Auntie B does. She’s so whipped that…”

 

“Alright. Goodbye time is over.” Veronica cuts in as she claps her hands together. “Don’t you have a woman waiting to be picked up?”

 

“I do.” Toni smiles as she leans over to offer Gavin to Betty. “I appreciate this, so much. I won’t be out too late, okay? Text me if you need me.”

 

Veronica feels a sense of anxiety as Toni presses kisses to Gavin’s head before she waves her goodbye and leaves. The air seems to disappear around her as she realizes that it’s just her and Betty left with this helpless infant. An infant that is expected to have not a single hair out place when his mother returns. A harsh swallow catches Betty’s attention, and her wife offers her a smile that is both encouraging and warm. It makes her stand a bit taller, makes the voices in her head that scream with doubt quiet. She’s a Lodge, she’s a _Cooper_ , she can do anything she sets her mind to. She can handle this, as long as she has Betty by her side the entire time.

 

“We can do this, it’ll be easy.” Betty shrugs.

 

An hour later, Betty is regretting the words as she listens to Gavin’s screams. His face is screwed up in a disgruntled expression as he kicks the blankets away from his legs. Beside her, Veronica is wide eyed and clearly out of her depth as she watches him and tries to form a sentence. Betty isn’t sure what’s happening, normally she can get Gavin to calm down with a few tickles and coos but it seems he isn’t having it. A hard swallow catches her attention, and she glances up to see the pure panic that engulfs her wife’s expression as she desperately tries to act nonchalant.

 

“Hey.” Betty soothes. “It’s okay.”

 

Veronica gaps, “He won’t stop.”

 

“This is sort of what babies do, V.” Betty chuckles as she continues to rock the child. “He’ll calm down eventually.”

 

“I...I really don’t see that happening.” Veronica sneers. “Look at him, he’s acting like a possessed demon child!”

 

“Hey!” Betty scowls. “That’s not nice.”

 

“B, I am so out of my depth. I don’t know how to even approach this.” Veronica admits with a shake of her head. “Is this what parenthood is going to be for us? Our child nonstop screaming?”

 

“No. No, this is just him having a bad moment. He’ll calm down.” Betty shrugs. “Babies get tired, and when they’re tired and can’t soothe themselves they end up screaming. He probably just misses Toni.”

 

“Well, call her and make her come back…”

 

“No way. This is the first time since everything with Jughead that she hasn’t cried while saying goodbye to him.” Betty reminds her. “I’m not going to drag her back here because we’re struggling to calm him down.”

 

Veronica ponders it for a moment, “What calms babies down?”

 

“Well, he’s eaten so that’s not it. His diaper is clean, and his clothes are too.” Betty hums. “We tried the rocker and the swing, but he doesn’t want either one. Maybe a song?”

 

“A song?” Veronica repeats.

 

“Yeah. He loves music and...oh.” Betty blinks in confusion as Veronica steps forward to sweep Gavin away. “Where are you going with him? V, what are you doing?”

 

“Fixing this.” Veronica replies as she swings a closet open and grabs the dusty guitar. “So, we’re going to sing him to sleep.”

 

“I’m confused…” Betty begins as her brow furrows.

 

Veronica marches forward with the guitar extended towards her wife, “Play.”

  
Betty fumbles with the guitar, “I’m rusty.”

 

“That doesn’t matter.” Veronica assures her as she switches on the rocker. “The kid needs to sleep, and we’re going to sing him to sleep.”

 

Betty puffs out her cheeks as she sees the spark in her wife’s eyes, and she simply moves to settle on the couch. Gavin whimpers pathetically in his rocker as he opens and closes his hands while Veronica stares down at him. After a moment of contemplating, Betty begins to pluck the guitar strings as she tries to find a familiar tune to play with. A small smile crosses her face as she watches Veronica twist her hips as she playfully smiles at the baby who pauses in his cries to stare up at her with wondering eyes. For the first time since Toni left, Gavin is silent as he stuffs a fist into his mouth and kicks his legs as Veronica continues to dance around him.

 

“I took my love, I took it down. Climbed a mountain and I turned around, and I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills. Till the landslide brought me down. Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changing' ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?”

 

Veronica’s voice washes over the room and Betty is immediately enraptured as she simply strums along to her wife’s voice. Moments like this reminds her of when her and Veronica began dating, when they were too tired to go out so Betty would play songs on this raggedy, out of tune guitar while Veronica cooked them dinner. It reminds her of rainy nights, of singing to Veronica when she was scared of the thunder and lightning that filled their room. It reminds her of laughing happily as her wife danced around the living room with nothing on but lace and Betty’s lab coat. It makes her think of the afternoon when a frustrated Veronica gave up on guitar lessons in favor of scattering kisses along Betty’s body.

 

It reminds her of simpler times, and it makes her dream of their future. She wonders if their child will pick up her guitar someday and have the same rush of calmness that melts through their body. It makes her think of teaching tiny hands how to manipulate strings. It causes clouds of a dream of picking out a powder blue guitar and seeing bright eyes light up when they find it under the guitar. It makes her see everything she was so afraid of, she sees a world outside of Riverdale and she did it all by herself. It makes her realize that Toni was right, Riverdale is just a town but Veronica is her world and that’s all that matters.

 

Veronica smiles at her, “Well, I’ve been afraid of changing. Cause I’ve built my life around you. But time makes you bolder, even children get older and I’m getting older, too.”

 

Gavin watches Veronica with rapt attention as she continues to sing, the little boy lost in her voice as his lashes flutter. Betty falls in love with her wife all over again, falls for everything she is as her voice lulls the infant into a restless state of exhaustion. It makes her entire body warm with the thought that this is going to be their forever soon; it seems like everyone is finally getting what they want, finally discovering their happy ends. Veronica finally trails off as the second verse ends, and Betty laughs softly at the way dark eyes seem to brighten with pride as Gavin lazily bites at his fist.

 

“Well, that was absolutely exhausting.” Betty huffs as she sets the guitar aside. “He’s never been like that before.”

 

“It must be the fertility Gods showing us what we have to look forward to.” Veronica mumbles with a roll of her eyes. “I can honestly say that I adore the child, but he has quite the temper. I wonder where he got that from.”

 

Betty flexes her jaw, “Probably his father.”

 

“My thoughts exactly.” Veronica hums as she looks down at the sleepy little boy. “We should probably move him up to the nursery.”

 

“Probably.” Betty nods, but a sharp ring catches her attention. “That’s probably Toni, I’ll go grab that if you wanna take him upstairs.”

 

Veronica blanches, “But…”

 

“You’ll be fine.” Betty chuckles. “I’ll be back.”

 

Veronica hesitates for a beat before she finally reaches out to scoop Gavin in her arms, her body sways almost unconsciously. She manages to keep him calm as she wonders upstairs and begins a slow walk and rock routine before a cry could leave him. A soft hum leaves her as she paces through the nursery with a smile of adoration. The warmth settles easily in her arms, and it makes her feel like she can do this. She can be a mom. She wonders what it’s going to be like the first time she holds her son or daughter; she doesn’t know if she’ll be able to put them down, she doesn’t think she’ll ever be ready to let them go. With a sigh, Veronica smiles lightly at Gavin who has gone silent while his dark eyes dance over her face in an attempt to scope out exactly who is rocking him back and forth in a soothing manner.  
  


“Hi, Gavin.” Veronica whispers, and her heart speeds up as soft brown eyes meet hers. “You know, I’m going to be a mommy in eight months. It’s scary to think about, taking care of a baby and raising it to be a smart adult. It’s a lot to take it, and I’m terrified.”

 

Gavin simply gurgles.

 

Veronica laughs softly, “I agree. Did you know that your godmother is my baby mama? I bet you didn’t. I couldn’t have picked a better person to do this with, she’s everything good in my world. Y’know, I’m just rambling and you probably don’t understand a word.”

 

In the doorway, Betty melts against it as she watches Veronica move slowly through the room with Gavin in her arms. Her heart swells with adoration as she sees the soft smile that plays at the corner of Veronica’s lips, the way her eyes seem glued to the baby’s face. Betty allows her eyes to flutter shut as she pictures her wife doing this with their baby, she wonders if Veronica is going to be as natural with their own child. They’ve survived this evening, but she knows they have a long road ahead of them; they have a baby on the way, one that they’ll nurture and love until they send them off into the world.

 

“You’ve been amazing with him. You’re going to be an amazing mom.” Betty whispers, and she laughs softly as Veronica’s head lifts. “I know this wasn’t the ideal way to learn, but…”

 

“I enjoyed it.” Veronica shrugs. “You can’t learn without a little struggles. This just helps me prepare for when our daughter is having one of her moody nights.”

 

Betty arches an eyebrow, “Our _daughter_?”

 

“Our daughter.” Veronica nods as she smiles down at a dozing Gavin. “Can’t you just see us in this room, walls painted pink with white accents? A little rosy cheeked baby girl laying in pink silk and waiting for us?”

 

“That sounds…” Betty trails off with a sharp breath of amazement. “Veronica, that sounds like a dream come true.”

 

“Then, like I said, I can’t wait for our daughter.”

  
Betty moves to curl her arms around Veronica’s waist as she presses a kiss to her shoulder, “I can’t wait either.”

 

-

 

“You didn’t have to pay…”

 

Cheryl rolls her eyes as she holds the door to the restaurant open, “It’s a pre date to our real date, Toni. Alas dates usually involve one half of the party paying.”

 

“I was supposed to pay.” Toni huffs.

 

“Well, you snooze and you lose. You can pay for the real date.” Cheryl hums as she offers her hand to Toni. “Now, come on. Let’s go wander through Times Square.”

 

“ _You_ want to wander?” Toni smirks as she twines their fingers together. “You used to hate when we’d wander on our dates, you always were terrified we’d end up getting lost.”

 

“Yet we never did. You always managed to find a way to get us back to where we belonged.” Cheryl smiles. “I remember how irritated you’d get with my whining, but you always just pulled me along and dealt with it.”

 

“I’ll always deal with it.”

 

Cheryl blushes as Toni presses herself closer and crosses her arm over her chest to wrap her empty hand around Cheryl’s bicep. The air is cool and the wind whips at their faces, and Cheryl can’t help but marvel at the adorable bundle of winter clothes Toni is currently wrapped in. The dinner had been perfect, and it was easy to see that the chemistry and natural conversation still existed between them. It was almost like no time passed, like there was never a moment when they were apart, but then Toni would sneak away and Cheryl would remember. She has to remember that they’re starting over, they’re relearning each other; she doesn’t want to fall back into what was old, she wants to begin something new.

 

“How do you think Veronica and Betty are fairing with Gavin?” Cheryl asks, and she sees Toni hesitate for a moment. “You okay?”

 

Toni nods slowly, “I miss him.”

 

“We can go…”

 

“No. No, I don’t want to.” Toni cuts in with a quick shake of her head. “This is just the first time I’ve left him with someone other than Alice or...or his father. It’s a little daunting.”

 

“That’s what the world calls growth.” Cheryl teases as she presses a kiss to the side of Toni’s head. “I promise you that he’s okay, Betty and Veronica know exactly what they’re doing.”

 

“Yeah. I know. It’s just the mama bear in me.” Toni shrugs, and she smiles up at Cheryl. “But enough about that for now, I want to enjoy this. Enjoy us. Shall we continue our walk?”

 

Cheryl lifts her chin, “We shall.”

 

The two walk lazily through the throngs of people as they talk between themselves about everything. They talk about the shows that are spread long the marquees, they discuss the current politics that plague the world, and they laugh about different memes they’ve seen floating around on the Internet. It’s so perfect, so them. Toni sighs happily as she turns her head to bury her nose in the soft fleece of Cheryl’s jacket while they dodge around people gaping at displays in windows. Suddenly, Cheryl yanks them to a stop and Toni startles as she pulls back to look up at the woman with a curious expression.

 

“Ice cream.” Cheryl squeaks.

 

“Cheryl, you can’t be serious.” Toni laughs as she allows Cheryl to tug her along. “We just ate _so_ much food, you can’t seriously have any room saved for ice cream.”

 

Cheryl turns with a look of horror, “I always have room for ice cream, TT.”

 

“That really doesn’t surprise me, but I think the ice cream can wait.” Toni purrs as she pulls Cheryl in the opposite direction, ignoring her cry of displeasure. “Come here.”

 

Cheryl looks back frantically at the abandoned cart, but finds the irritation melts away as soon as gentle hands frame her face. The cold brick of a coffee shop digs into her back as Toni presses her to it, her dark eyes look up at her and a smile slides across her lips. Around them, the hustle and bustle of their city dies away as they turn their focus to each other. The spot Toni pulled them to is shaded, a small canopy keeps the world from interrupting their moment, and Cheryl immediately drops her head to capture full lips. The kiss is tentative, and gentle; soft strokes of tongue, hesitant nips of teeth, and hands that roam and clutch fleece and leather.

 

“You kept me from ice cream for this?” Cheryl huffs, and Toni giggles. “We could’ve made out anywhere, Toni. I wanted ice cream.”

 

Toni lifts herself up to press quick pecks against Cheryl’s pout, “I’m sorry, baby.”

 

“I mean, I’m not going to lie and say it’s okay. Because it _isn’t_.” Cheryl grumbles. “But if you agree to pay for it then I won’t be as mad as I am right now.”

 

“You drive a hard bargain.” Toni hums.

 

Cheryl pulls back with a smile, “I just want some ice cream, and then you can sling me into any building you want for the rest of the night. No questions asked, just kisses.”

 

“I think I can agree to that.” Toni nods, and her expression turns shy. “I didn’t mean to just force you over here, I just...the look on your face was too cute, I had to kiss you.”

 

“You never need an excuse to kiss me.” Cheryl whispers as she ducks her head. “All you have to do is ask, and I’m all yours.”

 

Toni breathes out a laugh as she cups the back of Cheryl’s neck and pulls her into her. It tastes like home and all she feels is safety, she feels happier when hands fall loosely to her waist. As they slip away into their own peaceful silence, neither women take notice to the shadow that lingers over them. In the dark alleyway, a pair of wondering eyes linger on them before the form turns and disappears into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m sorry it took me so long to update, this story just kinda got away from me. Nothing too exciting this chapter, it’s just a filler before we get to the good stuff.


End file.
